This is a tongue in cheek step by step list on how to become a hockey fan. |
How To Become a hockey fan in 10 easy steps 1. The first step is to choose a team to follow. You’re best off if your choice is a team nearby but if that’s not available choose the next closest or a more widely know team like the Buffalo Sabres for example. 2. Buy merchandise adorning your team’s logo and wear it out in public with pride, even if you don’t like the logo. 3. Study! Watch games on TV and read books. Familiarize yourself with the concepts and rules of the sport. If you can point these out during play it’s will earn you recognition from your fellow fan. 4. Get to know the team, its history and its players past and most importantly present. Fellow fans will expect you to be familiar with past greats and current stars so know their names, numbers and positions. 5. Find a friend to accompany you to a games preferable one who is familiar with the sport and is a fan already. Someone who is willing to take you under their wings and mentor you through your learning process. 6. Pick a game to attend taking inconsideration popular team rivalries which can almost guarantee that you’ll be in for a rowdy night, those Toronto fans are nuts. 7. Arrive early! Find your seat then familiarize yourself with the arena layout locating favorable food stands and the nearest lavatory. 8. During the game you must remember to be vocal clap, cheer and chant enthusiastically though out the game but an important warning don’t fall for the tempting trap of yelling “shoot” when your chosen team is in the offensive zone especially during the power play like the drunken bandwageners around you. This is strongly discouraged and looked down upon as a sign of hockey incompetence. 9. Never give up on your team no matter what the score until that horn blast to signal the end of the third period there is always a chance for your team to come back but same goes for when your team has a big lead don’t celebrate unless you want to anger the hockey gods who are more than willing to change your fortunes ruining what seemed like a sure fire victory. Other no-no’s to avoid are announcing your hope for a player to score a hat trick or a goalie to get a shut out unless you don’t want those things to happen. 10. Don’t fret over a lose it’s only one game in a 82 game season cheer on your team just the same when you commit yourself as a fan your in it for the good and the bad times lockouts, bankruptcies and contract holdouts they need you to stay strong. Though blaming the referees is not only encourages but mandatory. |