Bizarre thought proceses

My scattered and estranged thoughts have tormented me too long.
My motivation to end this affair with the mind has reached the end and I wish to give in to
temptation.
My woes and all the wretched words in which I speak.
Will be my ultimate demise.
Shall I reach deep down and finish the deed in which I have obsessed about for some time?
Or shall I take the way of a person with strength and deal with twisted realism's.
It is a mystifying decision that will torment me more than the thoughts which ravage me now.
When will I be freed from the isolated imprisonment in which I have put in place for myself?
Another plaguing question that won't soon be answered.
My stubborn nature will never let myself know.
That is the defense mechanism which has been set in place.
To keep myself on a level of sanity.
So I can somewhat function.