Who and what I am.

As i slipped into safety to cover my blood shot eyes. I saw her and emotion rushed to my throat where i burried it with all others. She told me she was confused about what to do about our relationship. I kissed her, and told her. My life is goin no where fast i no you love him more than I. All you have to do to make me happy is make yourself happy......she returned with but ive fallen to hard for you to turn back now.....i then told her what i do and who I really am......Im the one your mother warned u about......Im the one that makes your father worry........the one that makes your big sister have a talk with you.....the one who your brother fears will turn you to the dangers of life........im the one whos ruined my own life and if its the only decent thing i ever do i will not take you down with me........the words she then spoke took all of my self control to hold my emotion below the surface in a pool of pain from wounds in my heart n soul.........I love you for who you are not what u do and not what they all say about you..........you are the one i wanna be with...........i wished only to be with her but her friends were pressuring her not to be with a man like me.....i was only trouble..........and i could tell by the way she held me she loved me but i was not the love of her life........so i did the hardest thing i have ever done.......i light up a cigarette and told her........I cant watch you go through the pain of not being able to look your friends and family in the eye as the questions come.......and i wont let you be with me when i can feel your love for him when i kiss you........i leand in for a final long, deep, kiss.........then turned walked away and left her with these parting words........i do this because i love you not because this is the end..........catch me on the flip side of life...........i took a drag n got in to the car drove away and fell apart