Scrawlings of a Pirate (Part Two)

*  *  *

“So, you and that fellow Thomas seem to be a little tense around each other,” Rouce observed after several days of sailing.
I felt myself blush; I hadn’t thought it was that noticeable. The truth was I still had some feelings for Thomas, I didn’t love him like I did Leander but we still held a unique bond.  “It was just a misunderstanding a few years ago, nothing really,” I assured her. The look on her face told she really didn’t care about Thomas and I. So, of course being a gentleman I asked, “What seems to be the problem, my dear Rouce?”
She laughed then said, “A word in your cabin, if you please?”  I nodded and she walked over to the fore hatch and lifted it open.
“Ah below deck,” I muttered climbing down the ornate stair behind her. She opened the door to my humble cabin, it was triangular, and sat in my hammock with her legs crossed. “What seems to be the problem, love?”
“Me,” she said looking down at her nails, “you and your friends broke the law for me.”
I took a step towards her, “Oh did we now? I thought we hired this bunch of rabble and borrowed this ship to go on an adventure.”
She smiled, and I was pleased in some strange way, I can’t explain it. “Well, there is a reason I was down on the dock looking for a pirate vessel.”
“Oh, indeed, the thought hadn’t crossed my mind,” I said sarcastically as I reclined in the spare hammock. That thought had run in and out of my mind for the past week. “Do tell.”
“Yeah, that’s why I wanted to explain. I just don’t know how,” Rouce said getting an expression of frustration on her face.
“Just spill the truth,” I said, trying to be helpful.           
After a lengthy pause Rouce said, “The truth,” she laughed, “the truth could get me hung.” She exaggerated the word ‘hung’ in a nasty fashion.
“Oh, now it begins to get interesting. Please continue,” I said getting comfortable in the hammock.  If you missed the third reason you must be daft.
“I’m not from this part of the country, you know,” Rouce answered looking into my eyes, “Rouce isn’t even my name.”
“I figured as much,” I rolled my eyes, “I mean what father would give his daughter such a wild name.” She smiled, which was a start. “Rouce, it’s exotic and exciting, it has an air about it that makes me jealous.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought when I christened myself on my thirteenth birthday,” she said pulling her knee up to her chin, she paused yet again the said, “I’m only seventeen, you know.”
“Oh dear, you’re that young eh?” I asked looking at her, the last thing I needed was a kidnapping charge on my record.
“Is that a problem?” Rouce asked tensing slightly.
“No, no of course not. Now you were saying,” I reassured her beckoning for her to continue. 
Why can’t women just get to the point, by now we have been having this little chat for a half an hour.  A few of the pauses were shortened or eliminated as well as some useless chit about the ship and the weather.
“I killed a man,” Rouce said quickly, tears rolling from her eyes, “I thought you should know what taking me on would lead to.”
“Whoa whoa,” I said holding my hands out, “I’ve killed several people, they were morons who stepped out in front of my blade.” Of course this was supposed to make her laugh but it had the opposite effect and she cried harder. Women. I reluctantly got out of the spare hammock and walked over. “Shhhh, its all right,” I said gently sitting in the hammock next to her. “Come on, smile,” I continued wiping her tears. She smiled, that was a step in the right direction.
“He attacked me you know,” Rouce said looking into my eyes and leaning on my shoulder.  She put her hand on my chest and continued, “in a back alley. He put a blade to my throat and oh it was awful,” she broke off sobbing harder, so I put my arm around her.
“Easy, that was the past. We’re on a ship, on an adventure!” I reassured her looking down at her crying face, well she looked back up and kissed me. Her kiss was hard and forceful with passion, a passion I couldn’t return. She pulled away quickly biting her lip and looking ashamed. 

There’s your third reason nice and clear for the daft, but back to this dreadful night. 

“I’m so sorry I don’t know what came over me,” Rouce said as she got up and walked over to the door. “I should go.”
I got up and walked over to her, “No, it is me who should be sorry, I’m afraid I might have lead you on.”
“I’ve got to go,” Rouce whispered, she was crying again as she fumbled with the latching on the door.
“Forgive and forget, love,” I whispered as I opened the door and she disappeared up the staircase.  Sighing I returned to my hammock, I felt terrible now.  I had thought I had a friendship with Rouce but she had thought otherwise.  So I lay down fully clothed to think.
I must have fallen asleep because Leander was stroking my hair and a lantern was lit overhead.  I smiled sleepily and he laughed, “You’ve been asleep for hours, the crew has been spreading some strange stories.”
I sat up and said, “Oh, have they now?” Then I rolled groggily from my hammock and said, “I’ll have to put some sense into them.”
“Not now, it’s late,” he pushed me back into my hammock and climbed into the other one.
“You sleep, I need to stretch my legs,” I whispered and rolled onto the floor once again. 
“Fine,” Leander whispered, “don’t be too hard on them.”
“I’m not going to kill anyone, I promise,” I said flashing him a smile and closing the door. 
The ship was quiet as I walked through the middle decking and to the aft hatch stair. Slowly I began to climb up to the deck, I don’t know why I walked so slowly maybe it was because of the peaceful sounds of the sea and timber.  But when I reached the hatch I opened it to Thomas sitting alone at the tiller in the moonlight.
“Hi,” I whispered in mild surprise, closing the hatch and walking over to him. “We haven’t had any time alone since we set sail.”
“True,” he said getting up from his stool and tying the wheel on an eastern course. “I know you, Mae, you wouldn’t be walking around on a ship in the middle of the night if something wasn’t bothering you.”
I smiled and whispered, “you know me to well, Tom.” I walked over to the poop deck and sat on the step, “Rouce, Rouce is why I can’t sleep,” I said looking at my boots.
“I thought you were involved with Leander,” Thomas said sitting down next to me.
         “I am, Leander has stood by me for five years,” I answered, “He’s put up with all my shit willingly. But tonight Rouce came up to me and requested a moment,” I sighed and hung my hands in my lap. “It appears she has fallen in love with me.” I said at long last.
Thomas put his hand on my knee, “you are good looking, you know.”
“She kissed me. It was so awkward.” There I said it, I thought if I said it I would feel better, but I didn’t.  Thomas kept his hand on my knee and turned my face up to his. “I feel so guilty, leading her to believe a falsehood. I feel like I betrayed Leander.”
“You’ve taken this girl under your wing, you shouldn’t feel ashamed. Personally I think you should tell her the truth before she doesn’t trust you.” 
“The truth?” I forced a laugh, “Thomas, you of all people know what the truth can do,” I traced the long scar on his forearm, “The world can’t accept us for who we are.”
I was crying now, I scolded myself, I hadn’t wanted to open up to Thomas so much. But now there I was sitting with Thomas in the moonlight crying my eyes out over Rouce, the world and Leander.  The next thing I knew was Thomas’s lips against mine and he pulled me into an embrace.
“It finally dawns on you, my poor friend,” he said.
“Yes, it seems it has,” I said wiping my eyes still leaning against him. I was reminded of the old days when we had shared a room in town. Thomas kissed me again and I let him take me back there.

My father and I had had a disagreement and he had beaten me severely. I was all cut up and I had a black eye and a broken wrist. I had wondered into town from our farm and finally collapsed in the gutter. You don’t want to know what I was laying amongst but it didn’t help my cuts and I came down with a nasty infection. I wondered around downtown for a day and a half before anyone had the sense to point me in the direction of a doctor.  Thomas lived in the room above the doctor’s quarters and while I was healing he would sneak down and visit me.  We were two years apart, I sixteen and he eighteen, we were friends within days. On my release we moved in together and our friendship escalated.
     
A gasp from the aft stair bought us back into the night at hand. I looked over Thomas’s shoulder and saw Rouce peering over the open hatch. Thomas turned around and she ducked back down below.
“She’s seen us,” I whispered pushing away from him and getting to my feet.  I turned back to Thomas who still sat on the step, “Right, you’re on tiller tonight. I want us on course for southwest. I feel a storm brewin’ if you get my gist.” I gave him one more longing look and disappeared below after Rouce.  I ran down the stairs and across the middle deck and caught Rouce before she entered her cabin I actually grabbed her elbow.
“Let go of me!” She snarled, spinning around. “I never want to see you again!”
“Bit of a problem there, love, the ship’s only so big,” I said feeling this was going badly.
“Get lost!” Rouce screamed, ripping her elbow from my grasp and slamming the door in my face.
“Well, that went well,” I muttered to the closed door then I slowly walked down to my own cabin.
I needed to talk to someone but I couldn’t go back to Thomas, because I’ll admit, I was afraid where we were going.  I also thought Leander was really serious about us. So what did I do? I woke up Leander.
“Lea? Lea wake up!”  I said as I stood over his hammock stroking his face. His eyes fluttered open and he rolled over towards me.
“What’smatter?” he asked blearily.
“I need to talk,” I said as I pulled him into a sitting position. Now that I had him awake I had no idea of what to say or how to tell him.
“What’s wrong, Mae?” He asked taking my hand.
I smiled and Leander did too, so I told him how I felt, “I think we are becoming really serious, you know?” I paused pretending to be thinking, but watching him. His eyes softened and he sat up further looking into my eyes. “Look, what I’m about to tell you is probably going to hurt but I got to tell someone.”
“Sure, Mae you can tell me anything. Spill,” Leander said sitting around and taking my hand.
“Rouce,” I said, “she got the wrong idea about me,” I said quickly, and before I knew it I was pouring my heart out to him like when we first met. I left the bit about Thomas out.

*  *  *

Several days later I met Rouce in the middle deck again.
“Look, I believe I’ve got some explaining to do,” I said opening the cabin door and ushering her inside. She sat down at the desk and I leaned against her hammock.
“An explanation would be nice,” Rouce said crossing her arms.
“Alright,” I paused to find the right words, “As you’ve noticed Thomas and I have a history. He pulled me from several nasty incidents when I was young and I hadn’t had a chance to see him for about five months.”
“And Leander?” Rouce asked, her lips forming a smug expression.
“Met him in prison in Singapore, we escaped together. Commandeered a smack and sailed up here. Hit it off after that and lived together for about five years,” I answered, it was the truth, most of it.   
“Are you telling me you’re,” she made a gesture and her voice dropped off and she glarerd at me.
“Aye, if that night wasn’t enough proof you must be daft,” I said a little sarcastically.
“So I’m sailing with Captain Murtagh and his crew of male concubines?” Rouce asked angrily and rather loudly.
“In a manor of speaking, yes. But were not all of that persuasion you know. I’m sure you’ll find yourself a willing fellow,” I said getting to my feet.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked walking towards me.
  This was an out of the ordinary question, normally when I tell someone the truth I get strange looks or the piss beat out of me.
“People don’t take nicely to the fact,” I said.
“Does Leander know about that?” She asked only about two feet from me.
“About which?” I was confused now it seems she still wanted to be friends with me. I believe I’ve made my first normal friend.
“About you and Thomas, of course. After that night I only assumed that Leander and you were similarly involved,” Rouce said.
“You’re taking this unusually well, it rather frightens me come to think,” I said putting my arm on her shoulder. “I thought you were falling for me?”
“I don’t know,” she studied the timbers on the deck, “part of me was and the other part of me just wanted to be loved,” Rouce said with a smirk.
“You make a lot of sense for a woman, love,” I said kissing her on the cheek. “I’ve still got to tell Leander about Thomas,” I continued.
“What he doesn’t know won’t kill him,” was Rouce’s answer.
“I do believe you’re one of the reasons why I drink,” I said smiling and kissed her again on the lips before walking downstairs to my cabin.

That night the memory of Leander still haunted my mind preventing me from sleeping and even with the aid of several mugs of rum my mind was restless.  Our first confrontation came to mind as I walked across the foredeck in the moonlight.

We were young, couldn’t have been nineteen, the night that comes to mind was in the tail end of a five-month passage between Jamaica and Spain after our prison adventure we had a slight falling out. A few weeks later we both happened to sign on to this crew.  I was serving as crew and Leander as mate to one of the officers.  My position might seem low, well that’s because it was, being only my third voyage I was less experienced than the other crew.  This night we had just made port in a large city and having lost the lot Leander and I were made to keep watch over the ship.  The water was calm and the sky was clear so we had no need of torches.  Leander was in good spirits and I, having been denied leave at the last three ports, pulled out a flask and sat on the bowsprit trying to drown in corn liquor. 
That night was lonely for the both of us, partially for being young and partially because of the weather.  It was warm and still, the air hardly moving except with the motion of the brine. Leander made himself scarce for about the first two hours, checking the rigging and securing the lines but when he became bored with the ship he wondered over and swung his legs over the bow. 
“Can I get a swig,” he asked reaching out for the bottle.
I was jolted out of my mood by his question but reluctantly handed over the flask.
He pretended to wipe the mouth of the bottle on his sleeve before taking a pull and handing it back.  We sat for a moment in silence, me sipping from my flask and Leander gazing out at the lights of the town. 
Just as the silence was beginning to become uncomfortable he tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I happened to know the date.  I pondered the strange remark for a moment then answered, “Somewhere around the thirteenth October if it isn’t already past midnight.” 
He looked down at his hands for a moment and said, “I believe tonight is my birthday.” Then he laughed, it was a faint sound more sarcastic than joyful, but being so it caught my attention.
“You speak strangely of your birthday. Was it not also your birthday today?” I asked swinging my legs around and putting my bare feet back on deck to look at him.
He thought on the subject for a moment then said, “No, there wasn’t one moment of peace all bloody day, no, only tonight is my birthday.”
“Happy birthday,” I said pushing the flask into his chest and as I was perching on the bowsprit again to continue my gazing into depressed nothingness he spoke.
“Don’t.”
I turned, “Why?”
“You seem so lonely and depressed.” This sounded sincere, but then he continued, “How can you continue to be alone on a ship of two score men? And what are you pouting about? Eh?” he looked into my eyes with those challenging blue eyes and asked again. “What are you sulking over?”
I returned his look with slightly less power and emotion but said nothing and turned away.
“Lost the lot on the leave, did we?” he taunted setting the flask on the gunwale with an audible clank. “You shouldn’t let such little things drive you to the bottle.”

I apologise if you were expecting some romantic scene on a ship in the moonlight but this is how it happened and I won’t romanticize my life to win popularity.                 

I was drunk and angry at this time as well as cocky, I might remind you about the shore leave issue and I missed Thomas.  I turned back at him and spun off the bowsprit, “Just who the hell do you think you are?” I walked over to him, looking into his eyes, “shut your mouth.”
Seeing he had gotten a rise out of me Leander kept feeding the fire with various insults and finally a punch.  His fist collided with my shoulder hard enough to knock me back a few paces.
“Loosen up, Maezelli, you tight arse!” Leander said shoving me with his shoulder. “Did you daddy beat you too much or something? Hit me!”
When I had regained use of my arm I cuffed him in the jaw and felt his bone knock on my knuckles and he toppled backwards.
“No buccaneer invokes my bloody father! I don’t taken no damn orders from you.” I said kicking out at the gunwale.  Turning my back on him I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.  As I let myself cry I heard Leander slowly standing up.
“Maezelli,” he muttered standing behind me.  I glanced over my shoulder at him and he snaked his arm around my chest and pulled me into a hug.  “I’m sorry, I guess its me that needs to loosen up.”
I smiled slightly, and said, “You’re worse when you’re sober.” I removed his arm and picked up the flask, took a swig and pushed the flask back into his hands and whispered, “Get drunk.”
Leander laughed and pulled my collar until my face was level with his and he pulled me into a kiss, I can’t say I didn’t return it.
As I said I met Leander in a jail and we escaped together but as no more than friends this voyage was when we became more, when I trusted another person other than Thomas.
*  *  * 
I woke up to Leander and a lantern at three in the morning, he looked bothered so I rolled out of my blankets and stumbled across the deck and found myself in Rouce’s cabin.  Lea ushered me into a chair and shoved a mug filled with grog into my hands.  As the alcohol and water flowed through my veins I felt myself waking up. Rouce sat on her hammock looking distraught and forlorn, I glanced at Leander and he poured the rest of the concoction into my mouth. As I swallowed I heard him mention I was indisposed which I protested and begged Rouce to speak.  I thought it odd that she came to Leander for advice when she was so upset, you see when had been getting on quite well over the last few weeks.   
My head really was clearing up and I asked, “Rouce, love, what has got you so down?”
         She was sitting in her hammock, curled up in a ball with tears streaked down her cheeks.  “It’s Ben,” she paused and wiped her tears before she continued, “I was lonely so, you know, I found someone willing.  Now I only wish I hadn’t,” she said a fresh wave of tears flowed from her eyes. 
         I walked over and pulled her into a hug, “Its all right, we all do things we regret.” 
         Leander put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Ben got her pregnant, Mae.”
         I should have seen something like this coming bringing a woman onto a ship, I scolded myself.  Still I pulled her into a hug and whispered, “We’ll take care of Ben.”  Then I picked up her blanket and draped it over her shoulders, kissed her cheek and escorted Lander out on to the deck. 
         Out in the open air, my mind seemed to work infinitely better.  I put my hand on Leander’s shoulder and muttered, “Shit.”
         “That’s what I was thinking.”
         “Well, do we change course and make a head way for Dogrose or do we beat the piss out of Ben?” I asked, seriously considering both options and subconsciously walking towards the rudder. 
         Leander paused and gave me a questioning look, “What’s on the Dogrose?”
         I smiled and said, “A friend of mine, a witch doctor.”
         He smiled and said, “Mae you never seem to amaze me, I was under the impression the Captain of the Dogrose wanted to kill you?”
         “Ah, that he does.  But I happen to know that my good friend Lanolin will not be on the Dog in the week to come, so,” my feet had carried me up to the rudder and I felt my hands change our course to the south, “we make a head way to the Dogrose.”
         “Right, you said it not me.  I think I’ll go have a word with Ben,” Leander said walking slowly behind me to the hatch and disappearing below decks to the crew sleeping quarters.
         As Leander descended the ladder I couldn’t help feeling guilty, I mean it was me who brought Rouce and Ben together in the first place.  Oh, well I told myself that feeling will pass. 
         I do not know what happened below decks with Ben and Leander but just as the sun rose the hatch opened and Ben’s light brown head came out on to the deck.  He was unshaven and sported a brand new black eye.


I shall skip the unimportant bits such as Rouce suffering from violent motion sickness which also earned Ben a severe beating and move on to the more exciting bit about tracking my sworn enemy, then asking him a favor.