Tea Party-Acts 1 and 2

Act One

Scene One: In Patricia’s backyard. A table is set up with five chairs around it. A garden hidden by bushes is nearby.

Beatrice: Could someone get the kettle?
Calvin: Where would we find it?
Amelia: The kitchen, of course. Where else would it be?
Rupert: The closet.
Patience: Don’t be stupid, Rupert. Why don’t you get the kettle? Otherwise we’ll have no
         tea for our tea party.
Amelia: Oh, no! Turn off the oven when you get the kettle. I think I just burnt the cookies.
Beatrice: How could you do something like that?
Amelia: Well, I did tell you I can’t bake. So it’s not my fault.
Calvin: You should get going, Rupert.
Rupert exits and returns a few minutes later with a pot of tea and dark brown cookies.
Patience: Well I suppose we could get some crackers instead of cookies. If that’s okay with you, Amelia.
Amelia: That would be a better idea. I don’t even know if the cookies are edible.
Calvin exits and returns a few minutes later with a roll of crackers.
Beatrice: You’re hopeless, Amelia.
Amelia: (indignant) Why am I hopeless?
Patience: She doesn’t mean it like that, Amelia. She just means you’re no good in the kitchen.
Amelia: Gee, thanks.
Calvin: Crackers, anyone?
Calvin holds up a roll of crackers, which is immediately taken by Amelia.
Amelia: Thanks, Calvin. (puts crackers on the table beside the cookies) You and Rupert get the crackers. Patience, Beatrice, and I will have the cookies. I’m sure they’ll taste just fine.
The five of them sit down. Beatrice pours the tea and Amelia passes around the cookies and crackers.
Rupert: Cookies taste like they came from a shoe in a closet.
Amelia throws a cookie at Rupert. Rupert dodges the cookies and throws one back. Patience stands and grabs the cookies away.
Patience: That’s enough. This is a tea party. We will act civilized now. Later, you can throw the cookies at each other all day, for all I care. But right now, you will act like decent people with very good manners.
Rupert: And how do you suppose we go about that?
Beatrice: (shaking her head) You’re an idiot, Rupert.
Calvin: Maybe you should have just invited girls, Pat.
Amelia: You know Patience is too kind. She’ll always invite you and Rupert along.
Calvin: (looking around) You know, I could have sworn I saw a shadow moving.
Beatrice: Well, of course shadows move! When the sun moves, so do the shadows! You’re hopeless, Calvin.
Calvin: (scathingly) That’s not what I meant, Beatrice. I thought I saw the shadow of a person moving around in the bushes.
Amelia: You’re hallucinating, Cal. (she bites into a cracker.) Are you dying?
Calvin: No, I’m not dying! And I know what I saw. There’s someone around here.
Rupert: Now why would anyone want to be here? I know I don’t.
Patience: Then you can leave! I’m sick of your attitude, Rupert. Just go.
Rupert: (standing) Fine. I’m going. See you all later.
Rupert turns to leave. A gunshot is suddenly heard and Beatrice tumbles from her chair, dead. Amelia and Patience are immediately at her side. Calvin stands up quickly and attempts to find the person who shot Beatrice.
Amelia: Well don’t just stand there, Rupert! Call 911!
Rupert hurries inside and makes the call. Calvin is searching through the bushes, muttering angrily to himself about his incompetent friends.
Patience: Is she breathing? I can’t feel a pulse.
Amelia: No breathing. Hurry up, Rupert! Get a stack of towels and then go keep an eye out for the ambulance!
Rupert’s voice from inside the house: Okay, okay! Stop yelling at me!
Amelia: Then hurry up!
Calvin: (voice from behind the bushes) Got you!
There is considerable noise coming from behind the bushes in Patience’s garden. Apparently, Calvin is fighting someone who is fighting back.
Patience: What on Earth is going on back there?
They hear a loud groan and then everything is quiet. Sirens can be heard in the distance. Patience turns to her garden and gasps.
Patience: (aghast) My garden!
Calvin emerges from behind the bushes, very dirty, but otherwise all right.
Calvin: You’re worried about your garden and I could have died back there.
Patience: (sighs) Sorry, Calvin. But you know I’ve spent countless hours working on my prize flowers.
Calvin: Yeah, I know. Hey, I just knocked out the guy who killed Beatrice. Are the police coming?
Amelia: You can go ask Rupert. Oh, here come the ambulance men.
Two paramedics enter with a policeman. Beatrice is quickly taken away with Amelia explaining what had happened. Calvin talks to the policeman and leads him to the unconscious man. Patience stands by the table, dazed. Rupert sits down at the table and starts eating the crackers and tossing the cookies around.
Patience: Oh, Rupert, stop that. One of our best friends has just died! Poor Beatrice.
b}The policeman awakens the murderer and leads him off in handcuffs.
                   Exit all.

Scene Two: Calvin’s backyard. A square table is set up surrounded by hedges.

Amelia: (sighs dramatically) Another tea party, another death. Who will die today?
Patience: No one’s going to die, Amelia. Beatrice’s death was a once in a lifetime sort of thing. No one will die today.
Rupert: Did Amelia bake cookies again?
Amelia: Of course not! Actually, Calvin did.
Rupert: (looking around) Where is he?
Calvin: Behind you.
Enter Calvin. He is holding a plate with a dark brown cake covered in slightly dark, white frosting and a pile of sprinkles in the middle. He sets the cake down in the middle of the table.
Patience: (staring at the cake) What is it?
Calvin: (sounding proud of himself) It’s a white cake with vanilla frosting.
Amelia: No, it’s not. It’s a sickly chocolate cake with burnt honey frosting.
Calvin: (indignant) Well, it looks better than your cookies did. And this was the first time I’ve ever baked a cake!
Rupert: And the last. This doesn’t even resemble a cake, Calvin! At least we knew what Amelia had made. Are you sure this is a cake.
Calvin: Very sure, Rupert. I’ll never invite you to another tea party!
Patience: Okay, that’s enough. Let’s just settle down and have a nice tea party. (mutters to herself) One of these days we’ll have a perfect tea party.
Amelia: Did you say something, Pat?
Patience: (smiles) No. Nothing.
Rupert: (takes a large gulp of tea) You know, I don’t know why we bother having tea parties. Something always goes wrong.
Patience: Then we’ll keep trying.
Amelia: Easy for you to say, Pat. But I think we’re all getting tired of all these mishaps. It’s terrible now that Beatrice is gone.
Calvin: Beatrice died a year ago. Let’s not dwell on what happened back then!
Amelia: Okay! So, what do you want to talk about?
Rupert: (looking as though he was lost in thought) Oh, I don’t know. How about…birds.
Patience: Birds? All I know is that they fly.
Rupert: That’s about all I know, too.
Amelia: You’re the one who suggested it!
Rupert: I know that! I just saw a bird up on that pole and said birds. Well, if you don’t like it, you suggest something.
Calvin: Let’s talk about my cake.
Rupert: (patting Calvin’s shoulder) Cal, face it. Your cake looks dreadful. Next time, buy the cake.
Calvin: (glaring at Rupert) Next time, you make something.
Rupert: (sitting up straighter) All right. Next time we’ll have a tea party at my house and I’ll make some brownies.
Amelia: (mutters) Bricks. We’re going to have bricks.
Rupert: They will not be bricks!
Amelia: Yes, they will, Rupert! You can’t bake any better that Calvin and I can. One of us should have become a pastry chef.
Patience: (standing and waving her napkin around the table, capturing everyone’s attention) Shoo! Go away, birds! I said, go away!
A large crow lands on the cake and begins to peck at it. More birds fly down onto the table and several try to pick up and take away the teacups. By now, all of them are standing to try to get rid of the birds.
Calvin: Anyone here know about how to get rid of birds?
Rupert: (viciously swinging his napkin around) Sorry, no.
Amelia: (swiping at the birds with a fork) Go away, bird, before I poke your eyes out. I’m warning you, go away!
Suddenly, a soft whistling fills the air. Amelia falls over the table, her face in the cake, dead with a knife sticking out from the back of her throat. The birds scatter as she falls. Patience screams and Calvin rushes off to get the assailant. He dives after the man and both tumble into a trench where they begin to fight each other.
Rupert: I’ll call 911!
Patience: Hurry!
Rupert runs into the house. Calvin finally manages to knock the man unconscious and drags him to the table. Rupert enters.
Rupert: They’re on their way.
Patience: (nearly hysterical) Should we remove the knife?
Calvin: I don’t think so. We’ll let the paramedics do that. Besides, what good will it do? Amelia’s already dead.
Sirens are heard and Rupert rushes out to meet the police and paramedics. Rupert enters a few minutes later with two paramedics and two policemen. The paramedics take Amelia away with Patience. One of the policemen nudges the murderer awake and handcuffs him. The other gets the whole story from Rupert and Calvin.
                   Exit all.

Scene Three: Rupert’s backyard. A round table is set up under a large shade tree.

Patience: (apparently talking to herself since she’s alone on stage) Amelia was right last year. One of us did die. Who will be next this time?
Enter Calvin.
Calvin: Hi, Pat.
Patience: Hello, Calvin. Who do you suppose will die this year?
Calvin: (shaking his head) I don’t know. Last year Amelia and the year before Beatrice. We really ought to stop having tea parties.
Patience: This time will be Rupert’s fault for getting us here. I can’t believe he persuaded me to come! By the way, where is he?
Enter Rupert with a platter of brownies that look somewhat black along the edges.
Rupert: Hi, Pat, Cal. I’m glad you came. Try my brownies?
Rupert sets the platter down on the table and takes his seat.
Patience: Hello, Rupert. We were just wondering who will die next. (takes a sip of tea) I’m terribly afraid I’ll die next.
Calvin: No one will die, Pat.
Patience: (not looking at Calvin, but staring into her cup) That’s what I told Amelia last year, and she ended up dead!
Rupert: Let’s talk about something else. (lifts teapot and swings it from Calvin to Patience) More tea anyone?
The pot suddenly flies out of his hand and hits Calvin’s shoulder. It shatters and hot tea splashes all over him. Calvin stands up suddenly and tries to wipe the burning tea off.
Rupert: (standing) Sorry, Cal! Let me help.
Both wipe at the tea until most of it has been absorbed into their napkins. Meanwhile, Patience has continued to sip at her tea, a dark expression in her eyes.
Calvin: Pat? You okay?
Patience: I’m fine, Calvin.
Rupert: Brownie, Pat?
Patience takes a brownie and attempts to bite into it. She tosses down the hard brownies in disgust.
Patience: Amelia was right. These are bricks.
Calvin: We need more tea.
Rupert: Why? Do you want more tea spilled on you? Besides, Pat’s the only one drinking it.
Calvin: Well, maybe she wants to drink more tea.
Patience: No, I don’t.
Rupert: Are you okay, Pat?
Patience: (sighs) Just fine, Rupert. I just don’t want to die.
Calvin: (trying to be soothing) You won’t die, Pat.
Patience: (half to tears) You can’t know that.
Calvin: Look, Pat, I’ll personally keep an eye on you, okay?
Patience: (wailing) I don’t want to die! (grabs Calvin’s arm) Don’t let me die!
Calvin: (to Rupert) She’s hysterical, Rupert. What do I do?
Rupert: Knock her out.
Calvin: No way. You can do that, but not me.
Rupert: (shrugs) Okay. Now, how shall I go about it?
Patience: No! Don’t hurt me!
Rupert picks up a brownie and bangs it against the table.
Rupert: Just as she said. It’s hard as a brick. Now, where do I hit her?
One table leg and then another collapses. The whole table falls. Startled, Patience topples back in her chair and is knocked out by the impact. Rupert, however, lets loose the brownie and it hits Calvin. Calvin stumbles back, fighting to remain conscious, and falls upon a protruding knife from some bushes.
Rupert: (looking from Patience to the dead Calvin) Pat! Cal! Oh, Lord, I’m alone and vulnerable. Must be brave. Go after his killer!
Rupert leaps behind the bushes and attacks the murderer. By this time, Patience has awakened and runs inside to call 911. By the time the paramedics and a policewoman arrive, Rupert has the murderer subdued and wrapped up in rope. Calvin and Patience are taken away. The murderer is handcuffed and taken away. Rupert stares at the mess all around him.
Rupert: Great. I have a huge mess and no one to help me.
                   Exit Rupert.

Scene Four: Back in Patience’s backyard. A table is set up near her new garden.

Rupert: Well, Pat, it’s just us this year.
Patience: Yeah, I know. One of us will die today. Will it be you or me?
Rupert: Maybe it’ll be different this year.
Patience: I doubt it, Rupert. I can’t believe Beatrice, Amelia, and Calvin are dead. One of us will die.
Rupert: Don’t be negative, Pat. So, what’s this year’s treat? We’ve had cookies, cake, and brownies.
Patience: Don’t you mean Frisbees, sickly chocolate with burnt honey, and bricks?
Rupert: Yeah, I guess so.
Patience: Well, I’ve made fudge for the first time. I just made it this morning. I’ll go get it.
Rupert: Great! I’ve always wanted to try fudge.
Patience: Be right back.
Patience exit and returns a few minutes later with a pan. She sets it down on the table and puts a ladle next to it. Rupert stares at it doubtfully.
Patience: (frowning) I can’t quite understand why it’s still a liquid.
Rupert: (shrugs) It’s chocolate. I’ll eat anything chocolate.
Patience: Don’t you mean drink?
Rupert: (ladles some fudge into his teacup) Yeah. I guess so.
Patience: (apparently to herself) Maybe this day won’t be so bad.
Suddenly, rocks start falling from the sky and stone them to death. Both die.

Scene Five: Patience’s bedroom.

Patience suddenly wakes up in bed, gasping, her hair tangled all around her face. She brushes her hair aside and lies back down.
Patience: Just a dream. That’s all. Just a dream. Thank goodness.
Patience falls back asleep.

Scene Six: Amelia’s backyard. A large, round table is set up between to flower beds.

Beatrice: Tea! Someone get the tea!
Amelia: (staring at Beatrice as though she has lost her mind) The teapot is on the table.
Beatrice: Oh, okay. What about the pie?
Patience: It’s inside with Amelia’s cookies, Calvin’s cake, Rupert’s brownies, and my fudge.
Calvin: Okay. Rupert, come help me.
Amelia: I’ll go, too.
Amelia, Calvin, and Rupert exit. They return a minute later with a plate of cookies, the pie, the cake, a platter of brownies, and a pile of fudge.
Patience: I hope they taste as good as they look.
Amelia: I’m sure it will. Beatrice’s pie ought to be good. She always makes the best pies!
Beatrice: (shrugs) I’d rather eat it.
Patience pours the tea while they pass along the food.
Rupert: So, what will we walk about today?
Calvin: Let’s talk about weapons of mass destruction.
Patience: (horrified) No! This is a tea party. We will be civilized and not talk of such things. Instead, let’s talk about what we’ve been doing.
Rupert: I would rather talk about nuclear war, but I suppose Amelia won’t like that since this is her tea party.
Amelia: Yes, this is my party. And weapons will not be discussed!
Calvin: Even if it’s interesting?
Beatrice: Yes! Tea parties require good manners, which neither of you have!
Rupert: Stop yelling at us, Beatrice!
Beatrice: Okay, but it’s true.
Calvin: Then why did you invite us?
Amelia: Because you two are our friends, of course.
Rupert: Sure. We really want to be at a tea party. Cal, we just had to become friends with three of the strangest girls.
Calvin: (nodding) Something must be wrong with us. But you have to admit the food is good.
Patience: The food is all sugar! Of course it’s good.
Amelia: So, what will we talk about? And no, we’re not going to talk about war, weapons, or nuclear power. How about…birds?
Patience: (remembering her dream) I hate birds. They’re so…so dirty.
Beatrice: Oh, Pat, stop being so prim and proper.
Patience: (sniffs indignantly) That’s just the way I was brought up.
Beatrice: Well, okay. Just don’t always act like that.
Patience: (shrugs) Sure. Let’s talk about what we’ve been doing.
Calvin: Okay. I’ve been studying the use of nuclear—
Amelia: Stop it, Calvin! I said—
Calvin: (laughing) I know what you said! Okay, okay, I’ll stop.
Amelia: Good. Now. I’ve been helping my cousin get ready for her wedding.
Beatrice: Really? Your cousin’s getting married? When?
Amelia: Two weeks. She’s really excited—
Amelia is cut off by a loud boom as a bomb drops over them and they all die.

Act Two

Scene One: In a walled in garden. A well is at one end and an open gate at the other. There are many shade trees and creeping vines everywhere. Amelia and Calvin are helping Beatrice up from a ditch. Patience is sitting on a moss bed, looking almost hysterical. Rupert has his head down the well. Amelia and Calvin give a final tug and Beatrice stands with them with a green lump in her hand.

Beatrice: Where are we?
Calvin: (shrugs) Never seen this place before.
Amelia: I thought we had died. I mean, with that bomb falling on us.
Patience recovers from her shock and stands next to Beatrice.
Patience: We fell through the ground, through something kind of mushy and cold and really gross feeling.
Beatrice holds up the green lump.
Beatrice: I grabbed some of it as we fell. (she examines it) It’s Jell-o.
Rupert yanks his head up.
Rupert: Jell-o? Really? We never had a tea party with Jell-o before. I love Jell-o.
Beatrice gives Rupert the Jell-o. Rupert quickly eats it.
Calvin: (looking around) Okay. We fell through Jell-o after getting a bomb dropped on us. Now we’re here. What is this place, anyways?
Rupert: (grins over at Calvin) Talk about weapons of mass destruction.
Calvin: (brightens) That’s right. I wanted to talk about weapons of mass destruction just before that bomb fell on us.
Amelia: (grabs the bucket at the well, threatening to use it) I told you no talking about weapons of mass destruction!
Beatrice: (snatches the bucket away) Be calm, Amelia.
Amelia: (shrieking) Calm?! How can I be calm?! We just got killed by a bomb and dropped into this place! And you want me to be calm?! You’re insane, Beatrice!
Patience: (wrapping an arm around Amelia) We’ll get out of here, Amelia. Don’t worry.
Amelia: Don’t worry? Oh, Pat, how can you be so calm?
Patience: I don’t know. I just am.
Calvin: Come on. Let’s see what’s beyond that gate.
Beatrice: (looking doubtfully at the gate) Do you really think it’s safe?
Rupert: (gleefully) You’ll never know until you try!
Rupert runs out the gate with glee and crashes into something.
Rupert’s voice: Ow! Oh, look, there’s our tea party! Calvin, come on! We can talk about weapons of mass destruction!
Calvin: (brightening) Great! (takes off to the gate) I’m coming!
Amelia: (running after Calvin) Oh no you don’t! There will be no talk of weapons of mass destruction!
                   Exit Calvin and Amelia.
Patience: I suppose we should follow them.
Beatrice: (sighs) Yes. Without us, they’ll get into some sort of trouble.
Patience: They get into trouble no matter what, Beatrice.
Beatrice: Good point. Come on. Time for us to join them.
                   Exit Patience and Beatrice.

Scene Two: In a smaller garden with a stream running through it, this one not walled. There is a round table near the stream with five chairs around it and set for five. In the center are a pot of tea and a tray of small cake slices. Rupert and Calvin are sitting at the table, eating the cakes. Amelia is sitting across from them, glaring and drinking tea. Beatrice and Patience take their seats.

Patience: Are you sure this was set up for us?
Rupert: Of course. (gestures over the table) This is the table. Isn’t it? And this is Amelia’s teapot. And these cakes were cut from Calvin’s cake.
Patience: Yes, but where are Amelia’s cookies, Beatrice’s pie, Rupert’s brownies, and my fudge?
Calvin and Rupert trade glances. Calvin leans down and brings up four plates.
Calvin: We ate them already.
Patience: What?!
Calvin: (shifts uncomfortably in his chair) Well…We got hungry.
Beatrice: (sighs and shakes her head mournfully) You two are hopeless. Utterly hopeless. Let’s face it, Patience, Amelia, there’s to way to civilize them.
Amelia: (mutters darkly) There’s no hope for them. No, none at all.
Amelia picks up a cake and bites into it, still glaring darkly at Rupert and Calvin.
Patience: (spreads her napkin over her lap) Well, at least we get a tea party.
Amelia: (still muttering darkly) One virtually without food.
Beatrice: At least we have the tea and—
Amelia: Think again. They just finished the tea.
Patience quickly snatches the last two cakes and puts one on Beatrice’s plate.
Beatrice: Well, at least we’re together and not dead.
Rupert: (with a mischievous gleam in his eyes) Is that a good thing?
Amelia: (her patience spent, she throws her tea cup at Calvin and her plate at Rupert) Of course that’s a good thing, you idiots!
Patience: (grabbing Amelia’s arm) Calm down, Amelia. Let’s just try to figure out how to get out of here.
Beatrice: (leaning in) Look. Under that willow tree over there.
They all turn to the willow tree. A tall man greatly resembling a butler and a young girl whose features resembled that of an elf child stood there.
Amelia: Who are you?
Alfred: I am Alfred, the Keeper of the Gardens. This is Lyndee, a garden sprite. We were sent by Dragonfly and are to take you to her cottage.
Patience: Why?
Lyndee: Dragonfly never gives reasons, Patience. She rules this place. Follow us.
Alfred and Lyndee turned and started walking off. Amelia stood and followed them. The others quickly stood and hurried after them.

Scene Three: In a cozy, but not small room inside a cottage. The floor is wood and the walls painted white with surreal paintings hanging on the walls. Tall vases filled with flowers line the walls. In the middle of the room is a round table with a white tablecloth covering it and a tea party spread across it. Eight chairs are set up around the table. A tall, stately woman in a long, subdued dress is standing beside the table, her hands demurely folded as the seven people file in through the door.

Dragonfly: Welcome, my friends.
Patience: What is all this? What’s going on?
Dragonfly: (with a slight smile) Have patience, Patience. Please, come and sit, all of you. Alfred, would you please pour the tea. Lyndee, by me.
Dragonfly seats herself at the table. Patience and then Amelia, Beatrice, Calvin, and Rupert take their seats, Patience seated to the left of Dragonfly with Lyndee on the right. Alfred pours tea for each of them as Dragonfly passes the plates of cakes and cookies around the table. Alfred takes his seat between Lyndee and Rupert.
Beatrice: What’s going on here? Are you Dragonfly?
Dragonfly: (nods regally) I am Dragonfly. This is my manservant, Alfred, and my niece Lyndee. This is the realm of wishes and hopes and dreams. The one that struck me the most was Patience’s wish. It is simple and ever so easy to give. The rest of you also have this wish, but it is hidden from you, and may always be so hidden. It is simply for a lovely, uninterrupted tea party. Dear Patience has dreamed up some horrific scenarios in which everyone died and something always went wrong. It is my desire to rectify that.
Amelia: But why? Why would you want to rectify that?
Dragonfly: It is my role in your lives. I cure nightmares. As such I must cure Patience’s. And here is the perfect tea party.
Lyndee: And I must say that this is my favorite wish to come true, although I have only been here for two weeks.
Alfred: There is certainly much time for you to see many things, Lyndee.
Dragonfly: Indeed. Lyndee comes to us from my sister’s garden, that of kindness. She is here as my heiress and must learn the trade.
Rupert: (with interest) Do you suspect some nuclear weapon will destroy you?
Patience: (indignant) Rupert!
Dragonfly: It is nothing, Patience. It is simply how he is. And, no, Rupert, I will die quite naturally.
Lyndee: And then I will be the next Dragonfly.
Amelia: Then Dragonfly isn’t your real name?
Dragonfly: Good heavens no. (turns to look at Amelia) My real name is Amelia.
Amelia: (eyes wide) Oh!
Dragonfly: Good bye, Amelia. Good bye, all of you.
Patience: (startled) What-
                   Everything vanishes.

Scene Four: In a forest, by a creek. Several large boulders lie nearby and Beatrice is perched on top of one. Calvin stands in the middle of the creek and Rupert is doing gymnastics on a horizontal tree branch. Amelia is seated on a boulder across the creek from Beatrice. Patience is standing on the ground beside Beatrice. Calvin wades to shore and stands by Amelia as Rupert continues to swing overhead.

Patience: Now what happened?
Amelia: Are you quite finished swinging, Rupert?
Rupert: No, not yet.
Amelia sighs and shakes her head. Patience sits down on the ground and Calvin leans against Amelia’s boulder.
Patience: What happened? It was so perfect, a wonderful tea party, delicious tea and sweets, charming company, my wish finally coming true.
Beatrice: I’m more interested in learning why Dragonfly looked at Amelia when she said her real name and why Amelia said “oh!”
Calvin: (turning to look at Amelia) I’m interested in knowing myself. We were taken away from some really good food.
Amelia: (swatting at Calvin’s hair) All you think about is food.
Calvin: I’m a guy. What do you expect?
Amelia: (shaking her head and sighing) Oh, Calvin.
Beatrice: Well, Amelia? Do you know something about Dragonfly that we don’t?
Amelia: Dragonfly is my mother.
Patience: (looking up at Amelia) What?
Amelia: (shrugging) It’s true. She once lived in our world and had a daughter, me, whom she named after herself because she had to go away, to this place, I presume, and wanted me to remember my mother’s name.
Rupert: (between pants) Wouldn’t that make you Dragonfly’s heiress then?
Patience: Rupert, please stop and land on the ground.
Rupert: Okay.
Rupert swings to the ground and collapses on the soft grass, breathing heavily. He rolls over onto his stomach and stares up at Patience. Patience sighs heavily and shakes her head. Beatrice hides a giggle behind her hand while Calvin and Amelia openly grin.
Patience: I’m not even going to say anything.
Calvin: Aww. You’re ruining the fun, Pat.
Patience: (glaring up at him) Don’t bait me, Cal.
Amelia: (laughing) Oh, you guys.
Rupert: Hey, Amelia, you never answered my question. Why is Lyndee the next Dragonfly and not you?
Amelia: (shrugging) I guess I wasn’t born with the right…whatever. Maybe it’s because I’m half sprite and half human. Only sprites can live and rule here, I guess. I mean, Dragonfly looks so elfin, like Lyndee, so she must be a sprite, too. And I know my dad is definitely human, so that would, in essence, only make me half sprite.
Rupert: And I thought my family is confusing.
Beatrice: So, what do we do now?
Patience: How about we try to get back home? Where are we, anyways?
Amelia: Who knows? It’s some forest, probably still in Dragonfly’s garden.
Beatrice: So, what do we do?
Calvin: I don’t know about you, but Rupert and I can talk about weapons of mass destruction.
Amelia: (as Rupert is opening his mouth for hearty agreement) No! Absolutely not!
Patience: So, what are we going to do, sit here until we rot?
Beatrice: Not exactly the pretties picture, Pat.
Patience: (snapping) Oh, I don’t care. We’ve got to do something, like get back home. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am not going to spend eternity wandering around some God-forsaken forest that’s probably a million light-years away from Earth!
Patience stands and rushes off into the forest. Calvin and Rupert exchange slightly worried looks. Beatrice and Amelia look at each other in panic and hurry off after Patience. Calvin and Rupert shrug, rise slowly, and stretch. Amelia runs back and grabs both of them by the sleeves. The three of them run off into the forest after Patience.

Scene Five: A perfectly round clearing in the forest. A table with a white table cloth and five white chairs around it is sitting in the middle. The table is set for a tea party. Patience is sitting at the table, quietly sitting her tea, not even bothered by her surroundings. A note is sitting on her otherwise empty plate, face down. Beatrice runs into the clearing and comes to a full stop, staring at her friend. Amelia, Calvin, and Rupert arrive right behind her and the four of them cautiously approach Patience.

Patience: (turning to them) Good afternoon.
Amelia: Pat, what’s going on?
Patience: (smiling slightly) It’s tea time. You see, I came storming through here and suddenly found myself staring at a lovely tea party set for five. Dragonfly must have meant this to be for us.
Beatrice: (shrilly) Patience, what’s going on? First you run off and now we find you sitting here as though nothing is wrong.
Patience: That is because this is the end. My friends, we are going to die.
Amelia: (horrified) Die!
Calvin: (eagerly) Really? By a weapon of mass destruction.
Patience: I believe so.
Amelia: I don’t believe this.
Patience: It will occur in…five. Four. Three. Two. One. Good bye.
There is a loud explosion and a brilliant bright white light encompasses the entire clearing and they all die…again.