Just Another Story

"I'm over it."
"It's okay, I've moved on."
"No need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I don't even know who I was back then. I've changed so much."

False.

I'm not over it. Not even close.
I messed everything up and you deserve to be with her, and I deserve to be like this.
Behind the make-up and the hairspray, the red rose perfume and the shirts that everyone compliments, the heartaches, the tears, and the love songs of course..
Don't ask what lies beneath; there is not much to say.
My life is a routine.
Of thinking to myself over a cup of coffee, and slowly strumming my guitar so it doesn't get too quiet. Thinkin' I'm gonna be somebody soon, just not right now.
I can't even watch my favorite romantic comedy anymore without crying a river to sleep, not that I don't do that too much anyways..
But sometimes, right before I fall asleep, or when I wake up, I imagine, if you were lying right beside me, how would I be feelin' right about now? What would I be writng on these lines?
I guess I will never know.