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When we moved  back to California the summer before my freshman year in Highschool, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had lived in CaliCreek, just outside of Los Angeles, all my life until my dad was transferred to Michigan. I guess we weren’t really transferred, but my dad chose to go. Apparently there was a huge shortage in emergency personnel in Michigan. They offered us a lot of money to move there for three years, and my dad being the glory seeker that he is, decided that it would be an “experience”. I never really felt at home in our tiny town in Michigan. Being a California girl, I didn’t like the weather and seasons of Michigan or the ”everyone knows everyone and is in everyone else’s business ” feeling of a small town. I didn’t have anything to hide, but I hate feeling like everyone is waiting for you to do something stupid.
I was told that we would move there for three years, and my dad would work at the one truck fire station. After fifth grade, I said goodbye to all my friends and went to the beach one more time. Mom said that it felt like we were moving to Antarctica by the way I said goodbye to all my friends and my favorite things to do in California. Oh well, I can’t help that I’m dramatic. Of course my best friend Liz Conner and I spent the last weekend that I was in California together. Her real name is Elizabeth but nobody has called her that since 2nd grade. We took lots of pictures and promised to call all the time.
We moved to Michigan and stayed there for three years. The worst thing for me was the weather. I HATE cold weather and it felt like it was cold all the time. I guess that’s because when you have lived it California in a modern house on the beach you get used to it being around 75 degrees all the time. When we first moved, I talked to Liz all the time. We talked about everything from which guys she thought were cute and what teachers she got in sixth grade. Then she told me about the girl that moved into my old house next door to Liz’s family. Liz was so excited when Stacie Van Halin moved into my old house. She was an only child and had gorgeous long straight blonde hair. To go with that she had blue eyes and everything she ever wanted, including friends, clothes, and of course…guys.
I guess I had expected that everyone and everything would be the same as when I left, except that a new family had moved into our old house. Boy, was I wrong. Although Liz and I had tried to keep in touch, everytime we talked everything was about Stacie, Stacie, and…Stacie. I got so tired of hearing how much fun Stacie was to be around, and how perfect she was, that I lost touch with Liz. Even though we had lost touch I thought that Liz and I would become friends again when I moved back, because we would have more in common, and move to talk about.
That was what made it so heart breaking when I moved back after three years and found out that Liz had a new best friend…Stacie. I guess I shouldn’t blame her, I mean if your best friend moved halfway across the country, and a cool new person the same age moved in to her house, wouldn’t you think that it was fate? How often does your best friend move away, and a new one moves in?
We moved back to CaliCreek in late July, a week before school started on August first. For the next two months, I befriended a couple of people I had met in elementary school, and tried to catch up on everything I had missed. It seemed like I was allowed and accepted into the group of friends because I had been a part of it before I left.
On the first day of school at CaliCreek High, I found out that I had the same lunch as Liz and Stacie, as well as Meg, another friend from elementary school.  Thought it would be cool, I had lunch with three of my friends.  Wrong again. The first semester went well, I took Diving and Choir as my electives, and knew at least one person in all my classes. The only problem that I had was that because I was in Diving, I was in the Athletics class, and even though Liz and Julie had been sporty and athletic when I left, apparently Stacie wasn’t, and therefore, neither were they. I always felt a little out of the loop, because they were all in the same P.E. class together, and it felt like they had a secret bond that I wasn’t allowed to be in on. Of course they also carried this bond over to lunch, and I felt like I might as well eat alone because I usually couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
Besides the changes at school, there were also lots of changes at home for me too. The LA fire department had hired my dad, and he was running more calls than ever, plus attending training once a week. I think that quitting his dead-end job to work for the fire department was a good choice for all of us, because not only was he happier, but he ended up making more money too. The only problem was I didn’t ever see him, I felt like the dispatch center got to talk to him more than I did. Before he joined the fire department, I had a really strong bond with my day. We talked all the time, he was my best friend. Now when he got home from his shift he would stumble through the house and fall asleep on the couch or in his room. What really worried me was the calls he went on late at night. I guess I watch too much television, because I have nightmares every once in a while about some lunatic calling in a fake fire and then blowing up the fire truck or something. My mom says that I’m crazy, and that I should stop watching scary movies…go figure.
As the semester came to a close, I started noticing that Liz and Stacie, and sometimes Meg would look at each other and smile or give me the you-are-so-stupid look whenever I tried to add something to a conversation at lunch. They had also developed this habit of going off into the lunch lines together to get a cookie or an ice cream and leaving me all alone at the table. Then they started saying “Liz, I need to talk to you now.” Or “Stacie, can we talk?” It was just irritating for a while, and then it seemed like a conspiracy, because I was never included in these conferences. Until that day. I think that starting with that day I became a little smarter and definitely more careful about the friends I got close to, and also who I kept at arms length. Of course I didn’t figure that out until after it had all happened. So on that VERY fateful Wednesday, I was not suspecting to become the victim of the stares and hateful remarks at lunch. After fourth period, and an easy Math test, I came down the stairs into the cafeteria to discover that Liz, Stacie and Meg had already left on one of their desert escapades. I wasn’t surprised, but I thought that it was weird that they had left without saying hi first. When they got back, Stacie suddenly felt the need for a conference with Meg and Liz, and of course, without me. They were gone for longer than usual, but just as I began to wonder where they were, they came back. After the usual three minutes of silence Stacie said, “Chrissy, can we talk to you?”
Oh great. Am I being accepted into the clique, or am I being ridiculed about something I didn’t do? Of course with my luck, Stacie’s news was bad.
“Chrissy, we all feel like you have been extremely rude and inconsiderate lately, and we think that you would rather have us tell you than go on without saying anything.”
Was I the only one that noticed that Stacie was the only one talking? Where was the opinionated Liz that I used to know?
For lack of a better comeback, I replied with a simple “I’ll try to work on that.”
I racked my brain for the rest of lunch, trying to figure out where she had gotten her complaint, until the last five minutes. I had to ask.
“Can you give me an example? What have I done?” I asked.
“Well…you brag about your grades, and you interrupt us, and it feels like you are always trying to out-do us.”
The bell rang. I couldn’t believe that my world had just been turned upside- down during one lunch period. My best friends are mad at me for reasons I didn’t know existed, and I didn’t have a clue how to fix it.
         I guess that issue blew over, or more accurately, got covered up for now, because the rest of the semester was fairly uneventful. I passed all of my midterms, kept my mouth shut at lunch so that I didn’t say something stupid, rude or condescending and I even got invited to Stacie’s New Years Eve party at her house.
         The party started at nine and I was really excited to go, not only because it was a party, but also because it was at my old house. It was pretty typical I guess, loud music LOTS of food and too many people for the house. It was really weird walking into my house… I mean Stacie’s house, because it was my childhood home, but at the same time, it wasn’t. My house had been warm and welcoming, but this house was cold and modern. I had a good time, until I overheard a couple of guys talking about setting off some fireworks in a field behind the fireworks factory. My first thought as a firefighter’s daughter was BAD IDEA. Then I thought, “Who am I to tell them what they can’t do? I really don’t belong with this crowd anyway.”
I forgot about the guys, until about midnight, when I got a text message from my mom, talking about this huge fire in a fireworks factory. I almost passed out. I couldn’t believe that they had actually done it, and that my father could be inside a factory filled with explosives…ON FIRE. I tried to forget it, telling myself that my dad was probably sitting at the station twiddling his thumbs, not responding to a major fire. I tried, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Where was Liz? I really needed to talk to somebody because I was starting to freak out. I wanted to go home, but I didn’t want to without telling somebody (Not that they cared…), I went to find Stacie to tell her that something had come up and I had to leave early. When I found her, she was flirting with a guy that was way to old for her, and Liz was glued to her side, as usual. I told them I had to leave and Liz gave me a concerned look, but Stacie almost looked happy to see me go. I didn’t care, I just wanted to get home.
On my way out, I passed Jennifer, a friend from elementary school. The last time I saw her she was an awkward 5th grader that avoided eye contact and had no self-esteem. She had really changed over the last few years, she was confident and well…gorgeous. She was so different that I didn’t even recognize her until she came up to me.
“Are you leaving? The party just started!” she said.
“Yeah” I replied, “You might remember that my dad is a firefighter, and I got a text message from my mom saying that he went to a big fire. I have a bad feeling about it. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t feel right.”
”Wow, are you walking home? I have a fall birthday, and I can drive now, want a ride?”
“That would be awesome. I haven’t talked to you in forever. We have so much to catch up on.”
We walk past all of the cars until we came to a small red SUV. When we got on the road I asked her, “Do you still know Liz Conner? I know that you were friends for a while.”
“Yeah I still know her but she and I don’t get along really well. Well, we get along, in fact, I really like her, but she isn’t really herself anymore. She is just another one of Stacie VanHalin’s Minions.”
“I know what you mean. I want to know what happened to the opinionated Liz I used to know.” I said.
“I yelled at her in 7th grade, and she hasn’t talked to me since. I guess I brought that upon myself… I told her that she was becoming another blonde haired, manicured nails, boy-crazy stereotypes. That was after she stood there and let Stacie  dis me and call me names. I think she even said a few things herself to ‘fit in’”
“She did that? What kind of mind controlling freak is this girl? Liz would never do that!”
We both laughed.  As we pulled up in front of my house I realized that I hadn’t told her where I lived. Was she stalking me? There goes my imagination.
“Thank you so much! Here’s my cell number. Lets get together soon, okay?”
She nodded and then drove off. I knew something was wrong the second I unlocked my front door, it didn’t feel right, but maybe my imagination was running away with me again. My mom came out of her bedroom, and saw me. She was dressed and had her keys in her hand.
“I’m so glad you’re back Chrissy, we have to get to the hospital now.” She said.
“w-what?” I asked. I was surprised at how calm she was.
She sighed and said “Your father’s fire truck went to that fire, and he went inside that burning factory, and it exploded. He was wearing fire gear, but he and one other man are very badly injured.” She broke down. I really hate seeing adults cry, but I somehow took control of the situation and took the keys from my mothers hand.
“Get in the car, mama.” I said. “Lets go find out what happened.”
I checked to see that I had my permit, although my mom wasn’t really in a condition to supervise my driving, but then again desperate times call for desperate measures, right? I got us to the hospital in one piece and I ushered my mom into the emergency room. The nurse in charge looked bored.
“What can I do for you?” she asked in a monotone voice.
“My dad was brought in here about an hour ago, a firefighter?” My mom was crying again.
“Oh yes, He is still in surgery. Please have a seat in the waiting room, I will let you know when I get more information.” She replied in a not-so-monotone way.
I was shocked. Surgery! Was it that bad? If he doesn’t pull through, I will kill those guys that set the fire. Wow, I couldn’t believe that I had even thought of such a possibility. He WILL make it.
         It felt like an eternity. What was taking so long; my mom was looking at a magazine, but I knew she wasn’t reading, but just staring at the pages. The waiting was horrible. When a nurse finally came out I almost wished that she hadn’t, because it meant the verdict.
“Are you related to the LA firefighter?” she asked.
I heard myself answer, but it was like a dream where you watch yourself, no, not a dream, a nightmare.
“The news is not good, but it isn’t bad either.” She continued. “Your father had several second and third degree burns as well as a head injury from falling down when he passed out. The fire gear protected him, in fact it saved his life, but the burns are still severe. He is out of surgery, but still unconscious. He is being kept in the ICU until he comes out of the coma.” She finished and waited for us to reply. When neither of us did, she said “I suggest you go home tonight, and come back tomorrow. Maybe I will have good news then.”
         I guess we got into the car and I drove home, but I don’t remember. I just went to bed and cried. It had been a long time coming, but I had held it together for my mom. I let the tears fall. I couldn’t even fathom what it would be like without my dad. Then I thought, I can’t think like this. I have to be positive, to be strong.
         The next day school resumed, and my mom dropped me at school and then went to the hospital to be with my dad. I went through the first couple of days in a daze, barely thinking about anything. At lunch, I was silent, and Liz noticed, but when she tried to say something, Stacie stopped her and called another conference as usual. It wasn’t until the next week, and exactly two weeks from the New Years Eve fire, that I started to snap out of it. I realized that I had to stay strong and that living in a dream-like skeleton life wasn’t going to help me. I started paying attention again and that is when I noticed what was happening. Stacie and Liz were talking more and more and they were obviously planning something.
         The next day, during lunch, everything seemed normal, except when I went to get something out of the line, Stacie, Liz and Meg got up and left. I figured that they were having another conference and went back to the table. When they didn’t come back after a couple of minutes I started looking around the cafeteria for them. They had moved to a different table and I could see them chatting and laughing over their dessert. They had ditched me!
         I was so hurt to see them over there giggling and having a good time, and I wasn’t just hurt, I was mad.
         They did the same thing the next day, but when they looked over at our usual table, expecting to find me sitting there by myself, I wasn’t there. I had stayed up almost all night that night thinking of what to do, and I had finally come to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to play their game, and that I wouldn’t act hurt in front of them, because that, after all, was what they wanted. So that morning, after fourth period, I didn’t go to our usual table and eat alone. Instead I went to sit with Hope and Brittany, two girls from my geometry class, and was deep in a discussion about a book that we had to read in english when Stacie and Liz came over.
“Chrissy, we want to talk to you.” Said Stacie.
I smiled at her, I wanted to say ‘not on your life’ but I decided against it.
“When I finish eating I will come talk to you.” I replied.
“NO! We have to talk NOW” She ordered.
I looked at her. “I’m sorry” I said.
“Uhhg” she yelled as she stormed off, and just for effect I waited a few minutes before going over to our table and sitting down.
“What’s up?” I asked.
Stacie looked like she had prepared a speech for this occasion, and I braced myself for a verbal beating.
“You have been rude and sullen, and everything you have said to us recently has been insulting and plus you ditched us today.” Stacie said.
Wow, Does she really believe all that junk?
“As far as ditching you guys, I think you have your facts mixed up…who ditched who? I was pretty sure it was you who left me alone, and now you’re just mad because I didn’t let it get to me.” I replied.
“I..Well…” Stacie stuttered.
“Wait. I’m not finished. I didn’t realize that I was being rude and insulting, but as for sullen? I think that if you really cared about what was going on in my life, you would know that three of the guys at your New Years Eve party left and set a fireworks factory on fire. My dad ended getting hurt trying to put out that fire and has been in a coma for two weeks. Does that help at all?” I stopped. I was all choked up, but I was determined not to cry in front of them.
The bell rang. None of us moved. Liz looked shocked, but then the three of them got up and went to fifth period without another word. I went to class but I was still in shock…I couldn’t believe that I had just done that!
The next day, I wasn’t sure what to do about lunch, Hope and Brittany said that I was welcome to sit with them when ever I needed, and I was planning to sit with them until someone invited me back. I shouldn’t have worried. After fourth period, Liz found me on my way to lunch and wrapped her arms around me.
“I’m so sorry” she sobbed. “I should have stood up to her, I should have known.”
“I missed you Liz, even though I saw you everyday, I missed the real you.” I said.
We walked to our lunch table arm in arm and I thought that now that I had Liz back, everything would be fine, but Stacie had gotten there first and she was ready to fight. I sat down at the table with my lunch and held up my hands. “No Stacie. I’m done fighting. You play with people’s minds, making them afraid of you, making them believe that you are right and they are wrong, no matter who is really right. I’m done playing your games.” I felt so empowered.

“Whatever! Liz. Meg. Conference.”
They walked over to another table and Stacie started talking. Finally she finished talking and she looked at Meg. Meg nodded in agreement. Then she looked at Liz. Liz looked indecisive. Then she stood up straight and took her no-nonsense stance, the same one that had made all to boys afraid of her in grade school. She shook her head. I was starting to wonder, what was this?
They came back and Stacie said:
“Basically we took a vote, to decide if we thought it was worth it to us for you to be our friend. Liz wants to be you friend no matter what, but Meg and I have had enough of your drama. Majority Rules.”
I was shocked. The tears that I had held in came out. I was hurt, I was crying and I was going to be late. I stood in the middle of the hallway as other students surged around me. I had never felt so rejected.


to be continued.