Trying to understand death |
The morning sun slowly peeks it's head above apartment buildings Making the feshly fallen snow glisten My sister would have liked it She'd want to see it But today she rests in a peaceful slumber There will be no more sleep overs No more tears No more laughter and joy I think about her constantly Imaging her lifeless body covered in black ash Why God? Why did you take my baby from me? I never knew, never thought In an instant my life was sent through another heart break She can't be gone She just can't be There will be no more hugs or kisses No more bad dreams No more hurt People shouldn't bury their children It's not right Tears flow like a river of never ending pain She's always on my mind I can't concentrate on anything She's always right there One day I wish I could make this all up to her Maybe someday I will God give me strength to keep walking the walk Give me strength to love without fear Give me strenth to over come this pain I never got to tell her how sorry I am I am Everyone looks at me a little different A little more aware Everyone hovers I scream inside so loud, so loud My sister died Wrapped in a cloud of smoke Not knowing Not breathing There will be no more bed time stories No more school No more summers I will never get to hug her I will never get to kiss her She will never ge the chance to get her drivers license Never graduate Never marry Never have children I don't want it to be true I deny and deny and deny I try to forget, forget the pain So much pain So much hurt A little voice keeps saying My sister died My sister died My sister died All day, all night I see her little face Her blonde hair And the way she always shone I see her when I close my eyes The sun right behind her Wrapping her in warmth There will be no more birthdays No more christmas No more cher The thoughts never stop I love her so much I can't believe Can't believe Can't believe Denail, the frist step in grieving How are you? People ask Fine, I reply Fucked up Insecure Narotic And emotinal She ways always so happy I remember the way she called my name The way it felt to hug her And I miss her so much You never really know how much you love someone How much they really matter in everyday life Until it's to late I should have been around more Should have gone out with her I should have just called to say hi and I love you I feel gulity There will never be a day that I don't think about her I will always think of the things she would have liked The things that made her happy I will always remember her growing up The way she smiled I will always remember I always thing the bad things can't happen to me But they do There will be no more easter egg hunts No more silly games No more swing sets where she'll swing I make sure my smoke alarms work I'm paranoid about fire A fire killed my little sister In the early morning Before the sun peeked above the horizon They say she tried to get up Did it hurt? Was she scared? Did she cry out? I wonder where she is now All I know is she's not here I believe her soul is in heaven Looking down on us I don't think she would have wanted us to cry I miss her Sometimes I think that she'll be home tomorrow That she is just away for the weekend I want to belive that so badly There will be no more mornings spent together No more nights spent together No more fighting Two days gone by so slowly Every minute counting I can't help but wonder Who will be next? Five days before Christmas My little sister was taken from me There will be very little holiday cheer this year There will be little celebration And a lot of tears It's hard to think about getting up Getting ready Walking through each day Trying to forget And trying to remember I love my sister With all my heart I know that she's in a better place now Her soul is at peace Above the city Above the clouds Above the entire plain of our existence In a place where everything is better My sister smiles I'll see her again Someday But today, as the sun rises, and the day unfolds I will keep her in my heart In my prayers Within me |