A NEW PLAYGROUND

A NEW PLAYGROUND

I remember when she was 10 or 11 and a Bratz doll was all she wanted. Now she wants freedom. Wants to govern her own life and do it her way. She is very passionate about it and feels grown ups hate her and are torturing her for some unknown reason. I don't always like the way she acts but, I always love her.

What about love of family, honor, and being proud of yourself? These are all just silliness to her now. The sad and gloomy realism is dark, dark, dark. There is little time left for her to get the full spectrum of what is going to be expected of her in this life.

As if taken over by some demonic presence she cuts herself and yells nasty obscenities at her family in fits of anger and rage. She says she would rather be dead than live in this hell we call day to day life. Rules and laws mean nothing if it means she can not do what she wants to do.

How can a loved one cope with this behavior? How do you just stand by and let this troubled child go through this horror? You talk to her until you are numb and tired. You take her to counselors and doctors. You talk to her probation officer, school counselor, resource officer, social workers, teachers, church going friends and police officers. She is put on medication and that is checked on a monthly basis. All seems fine.

Is there going to be an opening in the stratosphere and all reality shifts and she finally gets it? Let’s mark it on our calendars boys and girls.

Even the normality of teenage rebellion takes strength and consistency to get through. But this is like a Doctor Jekyl and Mr. Hyde on steroids. This is scarier than any horror flick I have ever seen. It is watching someone you love that you know has a mental disorder methodically ruining every chance she has been given to have a normal life. Running away, lying, not working programs, physically abusing herself and others, stealing, and refusing to take any responsibility for her actions. 

But when the time comes that the judge puts her in detention or, whatever is to come next, the tears begin as the officer puts the hand cuffs and shackles on her. Was it worth it to her? Was this little bit of self induced freedom enough for her? What comes next? How much can her family endure? Where do we go from here?

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