The Male Nurses

One of them had no legs, one of them had no arms and the other had no brains…
They sat together looking at that fucking wall with their stupid and unbelievable smile. Damn it, they were sick, sick poor bastards.
Male nurses they were, what a poor job they had, only god knows how they managed to get it. They sat in their small stuff room and smoking pot. Another day begun, another month, another year. The time passed leaving no traces of the past minutes.
Good time they had, the pot had already stroke their minds, even the mind of the brainless poor bastard.
Flying they were, flying high in the sky under the roof of their small stinking room.
The pot had already gone, but the lightness in their minds just became stronger, strong it was like the nuts of a horny squirrel.
“What the fuck are we going to do today?”, said the brainless one jumping from his chair and getting fast on his feet.
“Damn, you motherfucker Donny, what do you think we are going to do today?”, said the legless Mothy.
Armless Josh was laughing wildly.
“Fuck both of you”, was Josh’s declaration, “we are going to play golf today; I am so tired of this crap in Amputations 69 that I could burn this hospital down”.
Well, Amputations 69 was situated on the 7th floor of the main building of St. Crops Hospital.
7th floor was the highest, higher were only the minds of the three male nurses.
Donny took a glass cup and filled it with cold water. He came to the refrigerator, opened it and waited.

The day began great…

Three pancreases were lying in a white plate on the lowest of the refrigerator’s floors.
Two funduses were jumping and screaming, “Mommy, Mommy”, on the second of the lowest floors.
Five kilograms of dirty colons were tied up to the roof of the refrigerator and farting, farting from their dirty anuses, making horn noises.
Donny was terribly hungry. Hungry were his brains lobotomized two years ago. The hanging down colon seemed juicy to him, oh you won’t believe how juicy and full it was.
“Fuck you Donny”, screamed Mothy “are you going to have your dinner now?”.
“Well Mothy, I just can’t stop looking at this juicy colon, it’s so meaty…”
Armless Josh got up from his chair and kicked Donny’s ass with his big boot.
“You motherfucker Donny, don’t touch our dinner, if you can’t control your hunger never smoke the shit with us and drink more cold water”
Donny couldn’t feel the pain which was growing in his ass, but he saw armless Josh giving him this angry kick.
“Josh, why did you do that?”, asked Donny.
“Donny, you have to understand that last time you were hungry, you ate my fucking amputated arms, you little fuck…”, screamed at his Josh.
Mothy was already sitting on his deadly wheel chair cleaning his scalpel.
Donny tried to recall this issue, but he was unable to do this and he couldn’t understand why.
The door of the refrigerator closed and the farting noises stopped. Silence filled the room again leaving the flies fucking louder than ever.
Those two flies seemed happy, maybe because their sex life was good, or maybe because they just got out of the refrigerator unfreezing the male’s fly nuts.
They couldn’t have sex inside the refrigerator, no way they could do it, but here, in the warm smoked room, it was perfect. The smoke of the pot made vasodilatation to the male fly of the species, creating this way rock hard erection.
The male fly ejaculated and left the female of the species alone.
Mothy finished cleaning his scalpel and put in his deep pocket.
The stethoscope was on his neck, ready to be used.
Donny helped Josh put his artificial arms and tighten them.
“What a nice feeling to have my arms back again, oh damn so good, I am not used to smoke pot with their help, but you Donny help me much with this issue”,said Josh.
The process of smoking pot was complicated because after Mothy passed the joint to Donny he had to take it in his hands, make few blows and put it in Josh’s mouth for him to smoke.
Now they were ready, Mothy’s wheel chair and scalpel were ready, Josh’s hands were plugged in and the .38 caliber gun was in his pocket, Donny’s brains were dead but still he could be used as a human bulletproof jacket.
“What are we going to do today?”, asked Donny again.
Mothy and Josh stared at him madly.
“What do you think we are going to do today Donny, try to guess Donny…”, screamed at him Mothy.
Donny couldn’t think, it was a cruel joke.
“What the fuck Mothy, why do you do this to me, I am not cripple like you, I can’t think but I am not cripple, Mothy!!!”, was Donny’s answer to all.
Mothy thought with his rotten brains and shut up.
The pot was smoked, the refrigerator was closed on a huge lock and the key to this lock was in Josh’s hands.
Josh was angry at Donny because he couldn’t wait for dinner, and this case returned each and every day from the beginning.
Mothy started to loose patience and screamed “You fucks, I want to play the fucking golf game, let’s just got outside already”.
And so they did.
Donny opened the little closet in the room and took out a bag with three golf bats.
Those bats were made of pure steel and shined, they were perfectly clean.
Mothy wore his white shirt and his white cut pants; he had to cut them to fit to the length of his amputated legs.
He simply loved his angel white shirt and he felt great in it, he felt needed. “Mothy” was written on his shirt on a black sticker with red shiny color.
The scalpel was in his pocket and the stethoscope hanged on his neck.
“What a nice day, what a great beginning, I simply love my job”, told Mothy.
Josh also wore his white color shirt with short sleeves. The artificial arms were attached near his shoulders and perfectly fit his body size.
The .38 caliber was loaded with six bullets, another box of bullets was in his pants. Josh never wore stethoscope, that was probably because he didn’t know how to use it, or never really wanted to learn.
“Josh” was written on his shirt in black color. Josh liked his job, he really enjoyed it sometimes.
Donny wore his green costume, green pants and green shirt. Though he had no brains, sometimes he could do clever things. Nobody really seen those clever things he did, but he kept talking about them with the other hospital stuff.
Donny had no scalpel or stethoscope, he never used a gun. The only thing he couldn’t live without was small intestine. He used it, oh yes it was his favorite.
They were ready, the golf bats were in Josh’s hands and Mothy opened the door of their stuff room.
The hour was 6 in the morning, Amputations 69 was empty, here and there doctors could be seen, some nurses passed by without noticing them, it was not new to them, no one really liked them.
“Good morning fucking 69!”, screamed Mothy and made a noise stinky fart.
“Damn it Mothy”, said Josh “what the fuck was that?”. Donny started to laugh wildly.
“That was my greeting to the fucking doctors and nurses of this corps”, was Mothy’s answer.
The smell was terrible; one of the doctors had syncope, three flowers in a vase died and few flies sniffed around Mothy’s anus.
“Food!”, screamed one of the flies with its flying sound.
That was a great day for the flies. They were happy today, so many odors, and so much food.
One of the flies stuck to Mothy’s pants and didn’t want to move, he stayed there still.
The rectum of Mothy was inaccessible, that fact made the fly angry and it decided to bite Mothy.
“That motherfucker!”, screamed the fly “how he dares to hide away my food?”
Donny stared at the main corridor of Amputations 69. It was empty. The doctor that had syncope still lied on the floor. Donny decided to help the poor man.
“Josh, come and help me with doc”, said Donny.
Josh looked at him and laughed.
“Should I help a doc? No way Donny, no fucking way!”
Mothy had a developed sense of justice. “Shoot the motherfucker!”, told he to Josh.
Donny was amused, “Shoot him? Why?”
“Donny shut the fuck up and stop thinking, you are not able to do it right, so just don’t think!”, screamed Mothy.
Josh took out his .38 caliber, loaded with six bullets and pointed it towards the conscious less doctor. “McSando”, was written on his name tag.
“Poor bastard”, said Josh.
He pulled the trigger slowly, the sound of the hammer was heard and than a loud blast.
One bullet was gone.
Doctor McSando was sent to god.
McSando was able to see a strong light in front of his eyes, and his body behind.
Near his body three male nurses stood still.
“What is going on?”, screamed McSando frightened.
The white light took him away.
All was white now. It seemed like a lifetime to him, the time passed slowly here, not like in Amputations 69 where time flew fast.
McSando was able to see light now, shiny light, and a closed door.
The door stood there alone. Everything was white except the door. The door had yellowish color.
McSando started knocking on this door. The door didn’t open.
He tried to open it, no movement was made.
He tried to kick it, tried to break it, still nothing happened.
Later the doctor noticed a small hamster near his feet. “What’s up doc?”, asked the hamster laughingly.
“Why are you knocking on heaven’s door?”
McSando was amused.
“How is it possible? What have I done?”, said McSando.
The small hamster thought for a minute.
McSando was really nervous and angry.
“That can’t be, I am still young, I don’t want to die!”
The hamster looked at him.
“McSando you are dead! But there is a way to get back, and I can load you back”, said the hamster.
“How can I get back dear one?”
The hamster laughed.
“All you need to do is to confess, you have to tell me your entire sins dear doc”, said the hamster.
“But I didn’t do anything wrong, all my life I lived to help people, to perform operations and improve people’s health”, said McSando.
“You probably missed something, no man is made without sin, all have done something wrong in their life, even such a brilliant doctor like you”, answered him the small hamster.
“Ohm, I see, I need to dig deeper, but I cannot find anything…”m screamed the doctor.
Hamster became worried, “I can’t believe you doctors are so stubborn and absolute”.
“No sins!”, screamed the hamster, “even I have sins doc, I fucked my sister hamster twice when she was home alone damn it, even a saint hamster like me committed this terrible thing!”.
McSando was amused again; he found it all really strange and annoying.
The small hamster jumped quickly and entered McSando’s mouth instantly.
Doc started to choke, but later it passed.
The hamster was looking for his sins, he was digging them from the inside. Doctor felt really annoyed, but the hamster didn’t stop.
He dug deeper and deeper, stinky soapy black blood started to arise up with the truth. Doctor’s mouth was bloody, the blood started to run down on his white shirt, on his stethoscope, on his pants and white boots.
Suddenly the hamster jumped out of his mouth and started to clean himself.
The door to the heaven was still closed.
Hamster looked at the doctor and told him, “I found it doc, it was not complicated to do, and I found it.”
The doctor fainted and was going to have syncope, but he managed to calm himself.
The hamster found that the main problem of the doctor was in his attitude towards the lower stuff, the male nurses.
“Dear doctor, you have to change your attitude towards the male nurses, its impossible that you always ask them to clean the filth from the patient’s beds, it’s impossible to call them with dirty names and stuff just because they are not like others and make them obey you and others like you”, said the hamster.
“It’s impossible!!”, screamed the doctor “I have always treated nurses with patience and respect!”
“I think it would be better for you not to argue with me, because you just can’t be better than me, I am the big boss here!”, told him the hamster.
“Fuck you, I will do whatever I want, no one will tell a doctor what to do or how to behave, I am the god! You are nothing! I am the mighty doctor, I decide who lives and who dies”, screamed McSando.
The hamster couldn’t stand this anymore.
“Motherfucker McSando, why the hell don’t you understand that what I am saying is not a recommendation, it’s an order!”, screamed the hamster and started to spit blood.
Instantly the small hamster blew up and blood could be seen at the place he stood before, a very small pool of blood.
McSando was amused, he couldn’t understand where did the hamster go.
Still the heaven’s door was closed, all remained white except McSando and the small red pool where the hamster just stood.
Nothing happened for some time, it seemed as if an eternity passed.
Suddenly McSando heard a strange noise after his back, he turned around and was nothing, it was strange all was strange in this sacred place.
What could that strange noise mean, the noise was as if someone was chewing metal plates with his steel teeth.
Suddenly something arouse from the pure white floor, something huge and evil arouse from there. At first glance it looked like a huge steel snake, it had a strange head though, it looked like a head of a hamster with human ears, crows’ nose and three strangely attached nipples to its forehead.
The terrible snaked opened its mouth, it was full with teeth, sharp teeth, but no it wasn’t teeth, those were huge syringes.
McSando was terribly frightened, he peed in his pants immediately and started a hysterical screaming, it was the first time ever he really became afraid and terrified to the bones.
The snake made a noise scream and farted few times from its’ steel anus, with the fart few parts of human feces blew on the doctored and covered his from head to toes.
McSando didn’t know what to do completely or how to behave, it was simply unbelievable that a doctor in his status didn’t know how to behave in a situation.
The snake lowered its’ head and told the doctor how and when he should confess.
The doctor made so, and his journey to the other side was over.
One bullet was gone.
Mothy Josh and Donny continued their way in the hall of Amputations 69, it was a long and depressing place.
McSando’s body wasn’t there anymore, it reincarnated and turned into s small beetle on the long and stinky feces on the seat of the third toilet cabin.
The bug was sniffing the ugly peaces of human feces with great pleasure, it was a new and fresh food for him, oh he really liked this kind of food, it was full of many interesting substances and warm too.
The bug lowered its muzzle and started to eat the shit, it was tasty, much saliva spilt from bugs mouth and he was really occupied with this meal.
Suddenly a strange woman with funny face and hair, probably weighted 100 kg and was in a white shirt, entered the cabin and started to scream.
“What is that, who didn’t clean after himself, what a moron could do suck a fucking thing, motherfuckers! Yuck, I wont be able to eat a months”, she screamed terrified.
Not only the fat woman was terrified, so was the poor bug that had only now reincarnated into this evil place and didn’t know anything about bug life.
With a slight push of the handle the woman flushed down the water with all the feces and the bug, it was the end of his life.
Mothy looked at Donny, than at Josh.
“Well guys, what shall we do now?”, said he.
Donny started laughing.
“I think I should say that I am the brainless here, didn’t know u became too…”, and laughed wildly.
Mothy didn’t like what Donny said.
“Come here please dear Donny, come to me”, said Mothy.
Donny came nearer.
Mothy got out his scalpel and held it behind his back. Donny was coming nearer.
Josh was thinking of a better place and didn’t notice the fight that came out between Mothy and Donny, he was in his own world, world of smoked brain, world of laughter and joy, world of peace and patience, a better place for us to live in.
That was a world where beautiful butterflies with big vaginas between their wings flew, a world in which time passed still, a world where flowers didn’t stop to grow, his vision was pure and childish, it was his world.
Than suddenly a scream waken him up from this great daydream, he looked around and saw Mothy holding his sharp scalpel near Donny’s carotid artery.
“I will motherfucker cut your motherfucking artery, if you motherfucker have the courage to call me brainless again, understand that you fuck?”, silently whispered Mothy in Donny’s ear.
Donny was terrified and didn’t stop screaming, but he very well heard Mothy’s voice, he knew Mothy and was afraid of him and his stupid actions.
Josh simply stood there, he froze in his place and wasn’t able to move, he never before seen such a conflict between best friends, they knew each other for a long time, had passed many terrible things together, but he first time noticed such a horrible thing.
Mothy let Donny free with a slight scar near his carotid artery, for his luck, if Mothy had just pushed a little further an irreversible thing could happed, a burst of uncontrolled blood fountain could have begun.
Donny couldn’t control his fast breathing, he was all shocked, even though he had no brain it didn’t mean for him that he couldn’t sense life threatening situations, after all he was s human being fighting for his miserable life, no matter how miserable it was.
Mothy put the sharp scalpel back into his pocket and looked at Josh.
“If you have something to tell me do so now, or shut the fuck up, I am sick of both of you”, screamed at him Mothy.
Josh had nothing to tell Mothy and that’s why he just kept his fucking mouth shut.
“Motherfucker, bitch, fucking nut licker bastard”, Josh kept repeating thinking of Mothy.
“How could he do such a thing to poor brainless Donny, after all those fucking years, all the time we were together its impossible to carry this up, something has to be done about it!”, was what Josh thought.
Josh suspected Mothy for the last few months with a bad temper, and this incident only proved that Mothy was too old and too tired and he had to be replaced, otherwise it was their end.
Immediately after this incident all the high in Josh’s head vanished as if had never existed before and he could only focus on the growing problem with Mothy.
Mothy looked and Josh and at shocked Donny. Donny was terrified and couldn’t speak, he was never scared as much as this time, it was simply terrible to him…
Mothy thought for a second, playing with his scalpel in the pocket and began to speak.
“Well lads, I have a great idea, lets continue our trip towards the roof, we have simply to play that golf game today, I have terrible nostalgic memories of this great game.”
Josh took the golf bats from the floor where he put them and was ready again though he felt terrible about that incident.
Donny started to fart nervously.
Each fart he made sounded like a “Little boy” was falling on Hiroshima. It was really terrible vision, the gases he produced had a stinky green color, and it could be seen through the hole that was made in his pants from the toxicity or the farts.
“Fucking Donny, stop your farting it drives me crazy.”, told him Mothy.
Donny couldn’t hear him because he was to deeply shocked and scared and continued his nervous farting.
The corridor of Amputations 69 got a green color now, everywhere were green and stinky clouds from Donny’s’ dirty anal canal.
Well, there is not really much to tell about Donny’s anal canal, but I heard rumors that a big bottle or rum was hidden there for a period of nor less than 4 months during the second world war, but that’s a complete bullshit, anyway, his anal canal was too wide and the amount of toxic farts he could make could climb over 60Fpm (Farts per minute).
It’s important to mention it was toxic, because of the great amounts of funduses, colons and intestines he liked to devour daily.
Josh knew that it was another trigger for Mothy and he carefully came near Donny, took out a huge butt-plug from his pocket and stuck it in his dirty anal canal.
“Ouch”, screamed poor Donny.
“Motherfucker, son of a dirty whore, fucking glansless evil coyote!!!”, added Donny to his agonizing Ouch.
Now Josh was happy, no more farting around from Donny, and no more stress for Mothy.
Mothy could take a deep breath now.
“It’s not an illusion, I can feel the clean air”, said Mothy.
Now they were ready to go and play their favorite game of all games, golf it was yes indeed golf.
Mothy rolled first on his wheel chair along the main corridor of Amputations 69, Josh followed him with the golf bats in his hands and Donny was the last with the hole in his pants and a huge butt-plug sticking out of his ass.
Once they were passing the long corridor of Amputations 69, they noticed a green monkey jumping there on a small refrigerator, it was looking for a banana probably, but it couldn’t open the door of the refrigerator.
Was it really hard thing to do? Or it was just a stupid monkey?
The monkey stopped trying and just stood there in front or the refrigerator, damn it, where did it come from?
“What a funny monkey!”, noticed Donny.
“Yea, well, it’s strange to see here a monkey this time of the year, but nothing really shocks me in Amputations 69”, was Josh’s answer to Donny.
Mothy kept on rolling his wheel chair.
The wheel chair rolled steady and right, every movement Mothy made was considered, he was still angry, he boiled from anger.
“Damn it!”, screamed Mothy, “I need to go and take my medicine”.
After saying those words Mothy rolled on his wheel chair their stuff room, the male nurses stuff room.
Mothy got out of his pocket the key to the room, put it in the lock and turned few times.
The door opened.
Josh and Donny stayed where they were and didn’t go with Mothy, they knew he had his problems and they just couldn’t help him with this.
Each one of them had his demons. The only person able to cope with those demons is the person itself, and if the person isn’t able to do this, it becomes a real problem.
“Damn it, fucking Mothy went again to make his special injection, damn, at least he will be calm for a few hours.”, noticed Josh.
Donny looked at Josh, he was not able to speak, the butt-plug really hurt him, and he hated it.
Josh seemed worried with Donny’s look but he couldn’t understand what the problem was.
Donny felt the gases in his anus begin to make bubble-like noises and to push on the butt-plug.
Not a pleasant feeling I assume, Donny thought the same.
The butt-plug began to move slowly.
Mothy was already in the stuff room, he got a syringe out of his locker, took a morphine ampoule and prepared himself for the most pure and heavenly feeling.
He took the syringe in his hand, opened the ampoule and filled the syringe with the pure and hollow liquid.
He was all covered in sweat, he waited for the needle to open his vein and let the stream of blood meet the drug, he needed that for his peace of mind, for the stillness of the oceans, for the past, and most of all for the present.
The needle stuck in his vein, the vein was wounded.
Red stream of blood began filling the syringe and mixed with the liquid.
Mothy began easily pushing the stuff in his vein, easily and with no fear he fulfilled his dream and his most terrible nightmare.
When the syringe was empty and the deed was done, Mothy threw it away and waited for a few moments.
He was high in the sky, much higher than the clouds.
He needed his rest.
“What the fuck is he doing there?”, asked Donny nervously.
The pressure in his ass grew to unknown limits to humanity, he felt the veins in his anus beginning to collapse and nearly fall in a necrotic shape.
Josh smiled.
Donny couldn’t understand that stupid smile on his face.
Mothy rolled out of the stuff room without closing the door.
Josh was touching the gun in his pocket, he was like making love to it, masturbating it.
Five bullets were left, it was a good number, Josh liked this number.
Donny could take it anymore.
“Ahh, motherfucker, this fucking butt-plug, I just can’t take it anymore”, with that brilliant monologue Donny made the fart of his life.
It was louder than an ambulance horn, much louder than the fart or a gray elephant, even louder than the sound of taking-off phantom plane with a huge motherfucking condom on it’s dick.
The long corridor of Amputation 69 had never heard something so evil and cruel. Few leg amputated patient fell out of their beds, arm amputated patients light their cigarettes, few doctors could never have erection again and one or two pregnant nurses had their unborn babies cry out of fright.
The butt-plug flew out of Donny’s ass, it was like a crazy bullet, it was looking for its victim.
The green monkey was still sitting silently and staring at the closed refrigerator, it seemed as if it hasn’t even heard the loudest fart of all.
The butt-plug had its flight plan, it knew where it was going.
Suddenly another green monkey appeared, it was the female of the species, a female green monkey with a huge vagina.
The male green monkey which was sitting near the refrigerator could smell the taste of her vagina, he really liked it and became very fucking sexually arouse.
He had his instant erection.
The butt-plug was still flying with its enormous velocity.
The two green monkeys, the male and female of the species had coitus, the seemed to enjoy it so much.
The butt-plug had its victim.
Let’s say the speed of its flight was great, let’s say it wasn’t sharp butt-plug, one side of it was covered with Donny’s feces and the other part was covered with bloody green monkeys brains.
The butt-plug was still flying until it reached its final destination, the white wall.
It made a red mark on the wall, made a sound and fell on the floor.
The two green monkeys which were having coitus a few moments ago still stood there, they were having still in a coitus position, but something was missing.
A butt-plug shaped hole in heir heads stopped their simple movements, after few minutes they fell on the floor still holding each other, their sexual organs were in a deep vaginal contact, and so stayed in their death.
A passing through doctor saw this, had his erection and put the two small green head holed coitus bodies into his special bottle, filled it with formalin and went to tell his friends.
Mothy was amused, Josh was amused and Donny was amused.
“Well people, I never thought I could do such a thing, I probably need to go volunteer the army as a general artillery master.”, laughed Donny like a crazy bitch.
Now they considered to be set towards their original mission, to reach the roof and play golf.
Josh pressed the button of the elevator and they waited for it with patience.
Mothy’s nerves were depressed, he felt great, Josh was nervous but always tried to calm himself, he squeezed the gun in his pocket and continued to masturbate it as if waiting it to ejaculate.
Donny was trying to get something out of his nose, but with no luck, he simply couldn’t reach that far with his finger.
The elevator arrived, a doctor and a male nurse came out.
Mothy rolled in first, Donny and Josh followed him.
Mothy looked at the control panel of the elevator, he searched for the roof button.
“Roof”, was written on the highest button, he tried to reach it but couldn’t do that, Donny now had all his hand in his nose, and still couldn’t get anything out of his nose.
“Fuck it, Josh motherfucker, push that fucking roof button or I will fucking kill ya!”, told Mothy silently.
Josh wasn’t surprised anymore, he knew Mothy had his breakdown and that now he didn’t consider nor him nor Donny to be part of his destiny or his friends.
He considered them to be the regular filthy hospital stuff.
Josh pressed the roof button and the elevator closed.
On the floor of the elevator Mothy noticed dirty underwear.
“What stupid people live in this fucking world, they even can’t take care of their own things, to throw dirty underwear in elevator, that’s cruel!”
Mothy began to get nervous, the drugs effect made him irritated, he couldn’t take this anymore.
He could sniff and feel the dirt in Josh’s brain, the dirty anus of Donny, he could feel all of it.
Mothy imagined the doctor and the male nurse having sexually anal intercourse in this elevator just a few moments ago, he knew the doctor was the active one, it always happened this way…
Josh was ready with his gun, he was ready in a case Mothy got mad and tried to attack them.
Mothy got his scalpel out and stared at Donny.
“Donny, brainless fucker, I have always hated your guts, are you ready to meet my friend, the fucking sharp scalpel?!”, screamed Mothy.
Josh was ready to pull the trigger, but the gun didn’t react, it was over masturbated and couldn’t do another shot.
Donny’s hand was still in his nose, he still couldn’t reach it.
Suddenly smile appeared on Donny’s face, finally he found it!
Mothy was rolling closer to Donny, Josh freezed in his place, he couldn’t shoot nor move.

To be Continued...