Wasted

I called my mother again to remind her
I am alive,
to rinse away the sweat, tears -
                     
                   all the things I talk about
                   in my sleep
 
But she had already wandered off
Leaving behind a pack of cigarettes
and a tight fist kissing a fat lip -
 
                   a hunger in my hurt
                   I can’t satiate
 
I need to shed my skin, taste your sin -
steal what I can’t borrow
I want to promise you
 
                   tonight will be exhausting
                   Such a perfect girl
 
But my father/my sister/my brothers - 
they linger
and it’s hard to miss that look in their eyes
           
                   like salty, wet poetry
                   shredding my tissue paper skin