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by Puff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Other · Other · #1310327
I don't even know how to classify this
My name is Cedrik Gremler, I'm 25, I killed Hitler. I invented the wheel, and I have spoken with the flying spaghetti monster which created the universe. Think I'm lying? Prove me wrong. Haha! You see, you cannot, nothing can be proved or disproved, everything is real and at the same time nothing is real. Huzzah! Right now I am a wandering ronin during Japan's Edo period, making my lonesome way through the countryside.

I hear a quite twang and immediately drop to the ground, just narrowly evading an arrow. I unsheathe my katana and yell for my assailant to reveal himself. In the blink of an eye, Japan is gone. I am now on a maroon colored planet in a distant solar system. The inhabitants of this land communicate solely through clapping their large, flat hands together. One of these aliens, an odd creature comes up to me, his skin is a brilliant blue, his ears are gigantic, and he has no mouth whatsoever. He claps, in response I clap twice, satisfied by my answer he turns away.

Slowly the maroon planet melts away, and I am back on earth. I am a prokaryote swimming along in the ocean 4 billion years ago, now again I am in the present. Don't believe me? Once again I must say, prove me wrong! I am all powerful and all knowing, I am also amazingly weak and have the mental capacity of a bacterium. Huzzah!

White coats surround me, stifling me. I become a raven and fly out the window. I am unstoppable, untraceable, and untrappable. If you don't believe me you can just prove me wrong, can't you? Just prove me wrong.
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