Broken inside

The fuckin plane trip is exhausting. Feels like you been in transit like a month already. This fool better be worth it you say to your self, because of how long this has been already you can feel your last couple of nerves about to go before you spontaneously combust. But you stop for a second and think back to the nights and days he spent with you, how sweet he was, the love and before you know it you catch a smile that lasts a few more images a few more moments. The captain comes over the intercom of the plane with a turbulence warning. He better be worth it.

Well shit I still look the same as I did the first time I bloody looked in the mirror only like 200 times earlier. Deciding on something to wear took for ever and for the hell of it I change hats again. Nope the first one 5th time I decided that, this is madness. Attack killing gigantic butterflies attack my stomach almost to the point of hurting as I continue to walk in circles accomplishing nothing. I cant believe this its like a dream come true. She’s on a plane for me this is to good to be true, a smile over takes my face and I go to grab my keys.

Its not as bumpy as they thought it was going to be and in your first class seat the drinks continue thank god trying to deal with your own butterfly problem. A few in you and feeling is lost a little but not to much you don’t want to just fall all over him. As fun as that would be, you can’t believe you just thought that! But he is cute and it has been a while, you set the drink down realizing it must be the booze talking. You wonder if hes having any better of a time you laugh a little he’s probably going nuts. He was so excited like how does he say it like a fat kid in a cake shop. You laugh a little too loud at your own joke and the business man next to you the one that can’t stop looking smiles.

Well finding the key is the first problem after a little while I fined the damn things some fo fo spray and I’m off to the beast. A semi quick drive across town to see my dad fly’s by in a snap a hot sweaty snap but none the less. He answers the door and invites me in I give him a hug of course. I shoot the shit with him for a few and about my girl and he’s happy for me. A joke or two later its time for me to go but not before he hands me a new set of keys. Time slows as they hit my palm keys to the mustang. Inside me I growl that damn car I give him a hug and turn to leave. Before I get out he tells me he knows and to just be nice will do dude bye I say and get into the car. Turning the key the car comes to life and I’m off. Backing down the drive way and on the street not going the speed limit but how can you blame me it has over 350 horses! Each light becomes the start of a new race to see my baby.

Awwww shit you can tell he’s about to talk and you made it this far to o well lets see how tough he is. Hello he says, you reply with a, hi and stop looking at him. He goes on for a piece till he realizes you’re kind of blowing him off with out actually being rude just pure lack of interest you’ll drink to that and smile at the thought of something he said to you last night where does he come up with some of that stuff. O well he’s fine in my book and giggle to your self as another drink comes around with out thinking you take it and have another swig. Over head the speakers beep and the captain comes back on to the intercom.

Fuck the flow of traffic on the freeway I’m smashin but not to bad. A forty five minute trip to the airport becomes an almost twenty in and out. Hop off the freeway at the right time and before I know it I’m in the parking area looking like a mad man. It would be just like me to show up late the damn first time I met her, you ass, pep talk over. Bam a parking spot opens up and I’m in it and out of the car running. Lost as always in the damn airport 2nd time asking for directions I finally get on the tram to the gate. There I get a chance to think and that leads to butterflies again, I wonder what she’s wearing, what she smells like maybe hopefully what she taste’s like. I can see her face in my head even though I’ve never actually seen her god a pause in brain activity… she is so gorgeous. Shit one in front of the other I remind my self trippin thinking to hard. Gate 10 up in the distance I can’t believe this is really happening…shit one in front of the other.

If you’ll look down you can see the light of Las Vegas he says and you look the strip lights up the night. It is pretty awesome you think and that makes you think of him again. He’ll be worth it you think and smile collecting your things a little sidewayz your self. The plane finally touches down on the runway and the engines roar to slow the plane. You kind of hear it but your lost in a mirror do I look ok, is he going to run away, will it be like always? To much to think about and not enough time as the door opens… arg as you peel of the chair that’s been your best friend and worst enemy the whole trip. Still haven’t put the last of your drink down you remember and shrug your shoulders. But why waist it and down the rest setting the glass down collecting the rest of your stuff into your carry on. But you’re not thinking about that he’s out there in the terminal you almost want to bite your nails but playing with your hair seems to help, anything to get your mined off your stomach.

Shit thank god there’s a bar on the way to everywhere in Vegas a quick stop and im off with 3 rums each with a splash of coke light ice cause this is madness. One down in a flash two to go like taking a shot and the chaser at the same time a little warm already I am. I shake a little bit inside and move on to the second one it’s just as harsh thank god. Gate 10 it is and still no people getting off; well at least I made it on time. Half way through the second and people begin to get off but no not like this I don’t think and duck behind some chairs to come around the back by the side of the loading thing. People walk by not even noticing me I can’t even think what am I going to say. On to my third just so I can chew a little of my nails. Nope, nope, no chance in hell, nope goes on for a minute as my drink quickly moves from my straw to my brain thank god slowing the though process. She gets off I think I can only see that hair and that well I am a guy right sorry but that ass. The girl of my dreams is walking away def not enough booze but its now or never I guess or something ok maybe enough booze after all.

Everything in order and its to the door you go a smile comes to your face where the hell am I going to hide. Shit one more look in the mirror same good a deep breath and your headed up the bridge to the doors. And that’s when it slows so many faces you walk straight ahead but no one looks familiar you check and check but nothing. All the courage you’re running on now depleted as you think about him not being there. Left and right but nothing you can feel your heart begin to hurt when you hear a voice behind you. That deep tunnel voice you think is hot on the computer. You don’t even know if you can turn around and there’s no plants close by where are those guys with the wall when you need um. Can I take that for you he asks yeah right the baggage hits the ground what carrying on shit.

I think that’s her in the skirt holy shit what am I going to say or do or what. The mined works in mysterious ways I took a little trip right than. Luggage, mine, her, gentlemen, gorgeous o my… and what popped out is can I carry that for you. If you know why I want you to tell me because I sure as hell have no fuckin clue. Than the bag hits the ground and I wonder if that’s a good thing. She looks back and forth maybe for some place to hide. But nothings close enough she begins to turn around slow but steady like there’s a spider behind her slowly. Well guy stuff I notice the profile and can I say edible. It’s like I don’t know what to do for a second lost in those light brown eyes. She looked down first, I’m shocked right before I do she does this is madness how can she be nervous it’s only me. She smiles I can’t help but loose this battle a smile and those eyes not to mention she’s absolutely gorgeous just seems a little one sided. So yeah I failed and looked down to see her body come up to mine arms grip around my neck and shoulders so tight this is awesome.

I can’t believe I looked down you think and look back up into his eyes and smile. O shit he looked down to that’s so cute you want him already but a hug for now should do nicely. Your forearms run along his shoulders and by the time you make it to his neck you can feel his arms rubbing your waist as they go around your body he smells so good you bury your face in his chest and breathe him in. His grip tightens and he lifts you up a little bit on to your toes in a firm hug your body on his and before you can think about it your legs wrap his middle so tight. He lowers himself and you to the ground slowly till your sitting in his lap face still buried in his shoulder. This is the best how long can he do this for nothing to hide behined you cant seem to bring your self to look back at him. I can’t believe I looked down you think and look back up into his eyes and smile. O shit he looked down to that’s so cute you want him already but a hug for now should do nicely. Your forearms run along his shoulders and by the time you make it to his neck you can feel his arms rubbing your waist as they go around your body he smells so good you bury your face in his chest and breathe him in. His grip tightens and he lifts you up a little bit on to your toes in a firm hug your body on his and before you can think about it your legs wrap his middle so tight. He lowers himself and you to the ground slowly till your sitting in his lap face still buried in his shoulder. This is the best how long can he do this for nothing to hide behined you cant seen to bring your self to look back at him. Great palce to hide you think right on his lap, and giggle a little bit.

Wow strong legs wrap me up and those arms. I cant help it I have to grab a hold of her ass to keep her from falling well not really but I can I think so ill try to get away with it. All I can say is nice in my head as we lower to the ground ass bumps a little but I don’t even notice arms full of my girl lost in smelling her soft skin and hair. I almost want to pinch my self just to check as my heart quickens this was so worth the wait I cant help but become a little turned on so my alter ego gets the best of me as I check for a reaction by moving her tightly to another position. O shit her hips activate for the briefest second but I could feel it none the less. Holy shit was that a… or was I just trippin? Shit I think she’s going to kiss my neck as hot air rushes over my skin her nose just above lips centimeters away. She whispers its good to finally see me I can feel it on my neck each word she’s so close.

Your lips right above his neck you can feel the hot air back on to your face you feel him squeeze a little moving you across his lap. Your legs tense a little and before you can stop your self you roll your hips ever so slightly the fuckin schemer! Yeah he thinks he’s cool hu that he’s the only one that can play that game well shit I got some news for his ass. You tell him you felt like you were dying with out him basically talking to his earlobe his eyes close and you knew you hit something with that. Both your heads move next to each others cheeks practically touching heads bowing a little. His cheek slides a little o my god you could cut the tension with a knife your stomach feels tied up in knots a little slide again as he tells you he cant believe you’re here it’s felt like years. Your hand moves to his other cheek and your head’s lower together cheeks touching his head moves a little bit towards you like to look at you, hips move again but you hardly notice lost in the moment.

The smooth skin of her hand cups my face her cheek is invitingly silky feeling as it slowly slides across mine. I still don’t know how I got so lucky; her head moves a little more back and sideways the front of our right cheeks touching. Than they don’t really and I feel my first kiss on the front of my cheek, one than another than a third in a row. Three soft kisses it takes for my hand to come to your face. The butterflies are unbelievable I’m about to kiss the girl I fell in love with over the internet that lives 2957235 miles away but now sitting here on my lap, god this girl…I think taking a lookone more time before my eyes close and our lips meet small sweet testing kisses at first and I’m in heaven.

Your not quite sure who started it or who did more but you like that its happening he backs away a little and looks into your eyes like is everything alright? You have an answer for that as your head leans toward him again. His wet lips on yours, o wow your mouth opens a little and so does his as he holds you tighter, closer to himself like hes afraid of you leaving. His tongue in and out mouths open you kiss deeply, passionately one hand on each others cheeks tongues dance. You lose track of time he’s all that matters his lips are all that matters he’s here your baby you don’t ever want to let go. His arms encircle your middle again squeezing, a slight pause lips barley away at what can only be described as a silent moan, as your whole body tightens up it suddenly it becomes very hot. You don’t know why but a tear runs down your cheek.

Her lips are so soft my hand goes to her face a moment as she backs away a little. Her tear falls on my hand running my thumb up her cheek I wipe the trail away with my thumb. I still can’t believe this is happening her eyes close and her face presses against my palm her fingers along mine holding my hand in place. Than attacked again with a huge hug I gladly return. Heart still racing I cant think of a damn thing to say witch is frustrating and I let slip a…shit. What the fuck did I say that out loud for you tard and look down again smooth yeah as she draws back looking at me all I can say is its great to meet you and laugh a little sooooo red. A tense millisecond before I can hear here giggle. Her legs move just a little but I know she’s about to leave me no…no not yet hands shoot around her waist and pull her back down. Right hand runs up the back of her shoulder, neck to get lost in her hair pulling her face towards mine for one last one and get more than I bargained for.

He wipes your tear away its madness what you feel that hand you hold it to your cheek. O yeah he’s not just his hand shit you hug him so tightly and he you finally you think. Pheew its hot maybe you should get up you think you are in the airport all the people come into focus most smiling but its all prefiril cause your eyes never leave him but yeah getting up. To meet you haha you laugh a little and move a little to get up but a firm grip around your waist stops you as you hit his lap with a little bump. His hand quickly gets into your hair it feels good his other hand holding you back pressing you firmly against his chest again your lips meet again a little more urgently. And his tight grip makes your hips roll again it suddenly becomes super hot but you press against him harder squeezing him in your legs kissing faster roaming around with your hands. His hands still squeeze you to him and hold the back of your head. You move a little across his lap towards him grinding away lips so tight and than mouth open and close so sweet but so urgent. Sooooooo hot as you slow and he pulls you back from his lips and stops a little too quickly get one more soft peck on the lips yeah right you think and bite his bottom lip drawing it out and letting it pop back into place. You hear him growl a bit soooo deep but light, he says your bad you smile and get up.

I know I am she says and turns to pick up her bag and no I can’t look away lost in bad thoughts I am but shit how can you blame me. Plus I think you did that shit on purpose I’m going to have to keep my eyes on you, and the views nice so I don’t mined paying special attention to you damn. If ever there was a time I felt like the drooling simile it was right than really from first sight but whatever details, I can’t think as it is. But I do remember enough to take the bag from you casually sliding my hand around your waist we walk together like that talking about your trip. Her hand around my neck kind of nails on my neck… shit I really think she’s doing this on purpose but I like it, but still no fair other than she’s mine well that gets a smile quick. During our conversation a few cuss words slip god that’s hot, the way she’s stands when she waits going up the escalator man she is gorgeous. We talk a little about the weather of all things well its conversation that do you want me to say as we round the corner for baggage pick up.

You stand next to him at the luggage claim and watch the bags come down and begin there trip around. You’re not really thinking about the luggage your thinking about the kisses making it seem hotter in here and he’s chewing on his lip. You get lost in his face luggage forgotten for a little while till he notices a smile breaks across his face and he looks seeming into your soul through your eyes before his hand gets a little in to yours. Kind of like a test to see if it’s alright you smile and he looks down a little red around his face and takes his hand. At that he looks up again at you and gives your hand a squeeze. It’s your turn to smile and look down because right than his smile was too much for you. Before you know it his head comes down and gets under yours a little kind of quick but slows down. His peck is slow and loving you melt, he draws back but one more wont hurt him your sure and lean in again, so soft your lips kind of suck together as they draw apart, so hot you pause, he and again, he must of thought I wanted another one smart guy.

Like I wasn’t going to try for another one what do you think I’m /don’t answer this/ crazy of course. We head to the car and get on to the freeway talking. My exit comes up and I get off crossing saraha a truck blows the red light and theres nothing I can do. BAM!!!!! I wake up and it was all a dream. You live you love you lose lifes a bitch and than you live on but it still hurts especially when you really love someone that can throw you away cause it’s a bad time. And whats funny is tho im lost and hurt ill live and she’ll forget me and the world will turn and life will stay a fucked up bunch of bull shit till I can move on and die. It’s the worst feeling ever to have the person you love tell you that you should move on and come up with reasons y while you try to save something beyond saving. Kinda like a light in to much darkness swallowd up by the blackness lost. Sorry for anyone who reads this life is like that on moment you can be at the top of the world the next your in a ditch you cant crawl out of. Im not going to write anymore story’s cause there just gonna make me depressed I hope you all like the first ones, sorry this one is such a downer but remember when something is to good to be true it probably is. -Chris-