Peacoats with tears of good-bye

         Devin’s fingers trembles as she slowly takes the thumbtacks out of the photos placed on her corkboard above her desk. Love is friendship set on fire. God this quote is so true, she thought.
         Johnny was going on his second tour and she never got a chance to tell him how she felt. Not that she was afraid he would say he didn’t see her in that light, but because of this, she would give her heart to someone who she can’t guarantee she will see again. She had to place him out of her mind.
         She smiled as she held a couple of the pictures in her hand. There was one that she took while they were at nifty fifties sharing a milkshake when he just came back from his first tour; it reminded her of a Norman Rockwell painting. Being in love with that one person and ignoring everyone else in the room, your eyes on one another looking to see if anything has changed. Another was a picture of them at a picnic with a group of friends he blew a hand full of dandelion seeds at her, she was laughing. And the last one her favorite was a picture when she fell asleep during movie night. Johnny took her camera and strategically took a picture with both of them in it and him kissing her forehead. Giving her hope of a potential future.
         She thought about the first time she met him. He was standing in line in the school bookstore in front of her shifting his weight trying to balance the books in his hand. He stepped back to let a girl walk by in the process he stepped on Devin’s foot.
         “Ouch!”
         “Sorry did I step on your foot?”
         “No, I just like saying ouch for the hell of it.”
         “Sorry. To make it up and to ensure I won’t do it again switch places with me in line.”
         “Thanks,” said Devin feeling bad that she just gave him an attitude.
         As that week went on and classes began she entered a classroom that would seal her fate with him.
         “Hey Ouch!”
         It was the bookstore guy. Devin tried to avoid him and sit in another seat, but that just made him relocate closer to her.
         “Hey Ouch who would have thought we would be in the same class.”
         “My name is Devin, not Ouch.”
         “Sorry. My name is Johnny,” said Johnny extending his hand for Devin to shake.
         She at first thought he was annoying, but as time went by and they had a couple more classes together they began to become friends, great friends, best friends that might potentially be lovers.
         Devin began to cry as she thought about him leaving on his first tour. He asked her to come to the airport and see him off. She agreed. He introduced her to his mom and brother. She wrote him a note and in it were their favorite movie lines, quotes, her thoughts, but nothing about her loving him.
         She handed it to him, and began to cry. He embraced her.
         “I’m coming back.”
         “I know, but I am scared, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. This royally sucks.”
         “Don’t think of me as going off to war, think of it as…as if I am in a band and I am traveling around singing and making a difference in some teenagers life who thinks my words are speaking to them.”
         “You can’t sing.” Sniffed Devin. “But I will pretend that, just make sure you get stationed back here.”
         “I will. Don’t forget to write to me, Ouch.”
         “The names Devin, and I won’t,” she said with a smile on her face.

         She then heard the front door of her apartment slam shut and a one sided conversation. The footsteps came closer to her room. In peered a long hair brunette, keeping her brown eyes on Devin she said into the phone, “Trish, let me call you back, she doing it again.”
         “What do you want Lynn? I’m fine,” said Devin wiping her nose on to the sleeve of her cardigan sweater.
          “No you’re not fine sweetie, come here.” Lynn grabbed Devin by the arm and sat her on the bed. Lynn was the kind of girl who liked to help people with their problems. She would help you, by telling it to everyone and Devin knew this.
         “I have nothing to say.”
         “Saying nothing means something. You’re an emotional wreck over this guy who, you don’t even know if he likes you. I mean why cry over milk not split. Just put him behind. He won’t have time to think about girls, just about saving his life.”
         Devin looked at Lynn. Is she serious? What the hell kind of advice is she giving me? She smiled. “Thanks Lynn, now if you don’t mind leaving I have something to do.”
Devin knew if she just agreed with whatever Lynn said, Lynn would feel as though her mission was accomplished and would be on her way to check her myspace or talk on her phone, something, anything that doesn’t consist of brain power.
         “No prob girl. You know I am always here.” Lynn left cracking the door, Devin walked over and shut it. The corner of her eyes began to get moist again. She placed her head against the door and cried once more slowly sliding down the door her two toned hair following behind.
         An hour must have gone by Devin fell asleep against the door. She awoke to her text ringtone, which was Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson, an acoustic singer Johnny brought into her life. She flipped the phone open. It was a text from Johnny.
         Can we meet up before I leave?
         She replied back yeah. I’ll be over in 15 minutes. She looked in the mirror at her flyaway hair and puffy eyes. You can do this. You’re going to do this. She got ready and placed her grey overcoat on along with a lavender and green scarf that Johnny loved. She walked over to his apartment and knocked on the door.
         There he stood 6’5, buzzed hair, hazel eyes that carried comforting thoughts in them.
         “Let’s go for a walk, I know its kind of cold, but I need to walk.”
         Side by side they walked down the street. Occasionally she glanced at him.          This is goodbye she thought. The silence was killing her. She wanted to speak, but the words have lumped themselves in her throat. Trying to gain the ability to articulate herself, she is unable to control her other emotions and actions her body is throwing out.
         Tears slowly streamed down her carefully painted face. Mascara ran down revealing her bleeding heart, which was slowly being eaten away by the cavity that has formed with no way to be fixed, or even mended.
         Johnny finally takes notice of what is going on. He takes her hand and squeezes it tight. Letting her know everything will be alright.
         How could his hand be so warm on such a cold and melancholy night?
         She can't bear it anymore. She stops him in his tracks. He faces her looking into the brown pools of pain, the ripples of the current rushing down the cliffs her face.
         "I love you," she said while swallowing back her nerves.
         "I know you do, but I still have to go, I love you too, but I am just afraid to promise you something and not be able to fulfill it. Just know I take with me, you in my heart everyday. Even if something happens. I love you and will always love you,” While saying this he brushes back her bangs and wipes away the best he could the smeared mascara. In that moment she wanted to kiss him, allowing that sensation to fill the cavity.
         But all she could do was embrace him leaving small droplets of her essence on his pea coat. She kissed the temple behind his ear, and whispered,          "Never forget this moment."
         And with that he embraced her harder and cried, during the embracement          Devin placed something is his breast pocket. He wanted to remember her just like this vulnerable, loving, just his.
“Just like old times,” he said touching his breast pocket.
“Yeah I guess. So remember groupies are trouble, and when you sing, sing for me, and hurry back from this tour.”
“You can count on it, Ouch.”
         Feeling herself losing the ounce of sanity she had left. She quickly pulled back from his embracement, straightened up his coat to match the creases already embedded in the coat. She tapped his heart with the tip of her fingers, and walked away.
         “By the way the names Devin.”
         He was left alone. He watched her until she turned the corner. He then went in to his breast pocket and pulled out a little envelope, it contained the pictures she took off her corkboard, a letter with movie quotes just like last time, but there was something a little different about this letter. Inside the flap of the envelope were the words:
Enclosed in this letter from the sender is her love, waiting for a message from the replier.
         Johnny places the envelope back into his pocket. He was off on a mission. The mission…to come back to be with the one he loves.