this is all but my life...........

My life is all but normal, It’s like a fantasy world of which people come and go. Some stay and some vanish like they were never even there. Am I living in a dream or if u pinch me will I awake? These are the questions of which I have to find the answer to. If I don’t will I be here forever? What if this is not a dream and in all reality my life? What will I do then? Where will I be if I play this off as a dream? What happens in my dreams or my so called reality can not be explained. For as I am writing my time is passing by. Trying to explain of what I can. I don’t know what will come at the end but I’m hoping for something great.
My name is Emily O’Neil. I am 17 years old and live in West Plains, Mississippi. I live with my mother and step father. I have two brothers and three sisters. To all of them I am a loner, anti-social. If only they could know what I hold so deep inside. A secret I will for ever keep. I go through my days speech less for I am mute. I have nothing to say to any one and they should have nothing to say to me. I express myself through writing and lyric’s. I surround myself in solitude hoping they can’t read what I’m hiding on my face. For if they knew they would never speak my name, never think a thought about me, or so much as to even care.
Today is the first of September, Saturday. Nothing special to me but that I don’t have to go to school with all the people. I’m up at seven o’clock when the house is quite and I can walk around. It’s sounds so peaceful as if this would be the sound if I was deaf. the only thing stopping that thought is the sound of the clock ticking or the faint sound of people breathing and the occasional sighing coming from the rooms of my sleeping family members. As I sit in the living room sipping on warm tea I remember back to when I was little. I never did talk much. I have always been awfully quite, as my mom would say to me ever now and then.
I sit in the dim light of the sun just coming up, listening to sounds around me. All’s I can hear is the crickets waking from there night time sleep and the sound of the wind slightly blowing. I hear the faint sounds of light steps on the floor. Knowing it’s no one up yet just the sound of my dog waking around and doing the same as I. To break the silence I flip on the TV knowing that there’s nothing on but early cartoons for little kids. I wonder why they have the cartoons on so early. Kids on Saturdays don’t wake up that early to watch them and yet they still play. Mostly just reruns of the good ol’ cartoons I use watch when I was little. I sit and watch the cartoons for about an hour or so. Though I think I spaced out for most.
Then I hear a door, someone’s up. I hear slow and tried footsteps come down the stairs. Slowly but surly they get to the bottom and walk straight to the bathroom. Sarah. My younger sister. I know it’s her even though I didn’t see her face because she takes a shower every morning. We use to talk about everything and then we just stopped, well, I just stopped, I guess. I look back at the cartoons that are flashing upon the screen. I grab the remote and turn off the TV. the room is fully lit now from the light of the sun.
I get up and walk out into our sunroom. The sun kisses my skin and I can feel the warmth through my whole body. the sun is the only thing that makes me happy, the only thing at can make me smile. I sit there for awhile and just admire the nature that lies just behind the windows I look through. I hear more foot steps, people are getting up. I decided to go back to my room for the rest of the morning.