The Future

The Future

Boys. Men.
Companionship.
It all seems out of grasp.
They see me and get intimidated.
I'm not the blonde they're used to.
I'm different.
I don't want to be seen as... exotic. Good God, no.
I  just want him to see me.
He has to be a Christian Reformed Laotian.
That's what my parents want. Not me.
Where the hell am I going to find THAT guy?
Besides I'm not attracted to Asian guys.
Why?
Good God - have an Asian mother-in-law?
Cook? Nope.
Sew? Nope.
Garden? Nope.
I would be the definition of the worst Asian daughter in-law.
He may not be Asian. My parents would be devastated.
Who's going to pay for the wedding?
For "Americans," it's the bride's parents.
For Laotians, it's the groom's job.
They're taking me away from my parents.
They have to be willing to pay for what my parents went through.
My parents raised me so I could start a family with him.
Will he get along with my parents? Will he eat our food?
He's not buying me.
It's tradition to give something back to the parents.
Am I going to find someone who will love me for me like that?