Alcoholic Violation

She awaits his return. Hidden in her closet, she tries to remain concealed as the front door bangs open. A quick slam and a revolting scream lets her know that he is back. And he is drunk. She tries to withhold the tears forming in her eyes. She knows he will soon find his way to her room. She prays that he will think her to be gone. That he will not check the closet. Her prayers aren’t answered. He throws open her bedroom door to find it empty. He calls her name, a certain slur to his words. Pausing a moment before her beau rue, he tries to sort out his drunken thoughts. Then it dawns on him and he rips the closet door open. She is huddled behind hanging clothes, hoping he will think her not to be in there. Her hopes are crushed. He tears the clothes from their hangers and finds her, already crying. He yells at her, tells her to stop crying before he gives her something worth shedding tears over. Then he grabs her by her hair and flings her from the closet. She hits the floor, and begins to sob uncontrollably. He screams at her again to hush. She can’t.

He takes hold of her shirt and throws her on the small bed. Then he rips the clothes from her body. She prays that it will not happen again. But it does. He climbs atop her and begins the daily ritual that has been going on since her mother left. She cries and wails for him to stop. He only hits her in the face and tells her to shut up. Then she is peaceful, gone somewhere else in her head. He sees the hazy look in her eyes and knows she has blocked the current action from her mind. He slaps her in the face again to bring her back to the present. Then he screams as he lets go. He exits her body and tells her to get clean and cook dinner. He leaves the room, only to fall in the hallway unconscious. The alcohol has taken full effect and he will not wake for hours.

She sits up on the bed, her tears still glistening on her face. She puts on a fresh pair of clothes and wipes her eyes. She heads toward her beau rue and removes a small bag. Stepping over him in the hallway, she takes to the bathroom. There she opens the bag and retrieves a kitchen knife. Rolling her long sleeve up, she takes one look at her arm and a quick glance at the knife. Then she meets the two and slices her arm. Immediate relief pours through her body, and though still sore from the violation that just occurred, she feels nothing save the wound on her arm. The blood begins to drip to the floor, but she doesn’t fear that she has gone too deep. She never does. Grabbing a hand towel, she wraps her arm and proceeds to clean the blood. He will know nothing of this. He is always too drunk to notice what’s right in front of him.

Returning to her room, she lays down on her bed. Tears begin to well in her eyes again and she shuts them, praying for sleep and a better life. Slumber takes her, yet in her subconscious mind, she knows that it will happen again as soon as he wakes. She can only hope that this time the alcohol overrides his bloodstream and he does not wake. She slumbers on, never waking in this life. Where she does wake is a place of beauty. She sees angels and a man walking barefoot. She knows it is Jesus. She questions him about why her life was so bad. He provides no answer, only love. She lets Him wrap His arms around her. She is taken by eternal happiness.

Back in this life, he wakes to find her on the bed. He screams at her to get up. When she doesn’t move, he shakes her. She still doesn’t stir. He rips the towel from her arm and sees the wound. From the wound, he recognizes words. “If I am to be loved, take me now, for this life isn’t where I should be.” He starts to cry and hug her body, apologizing again and again, asking for her to come back. Hours later, he lays her body back on the bed. He goes to his room and removes a .45 from his gun cabinet. Praying that God will forgive him, he pulls the trigger… now he stands before God and asks why He took her. God offers no answer to him. He only states that his eternal life is to be damned for his evil deeds. He’s made his bed and now has to lay in it.