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loosing and finding love on the river. |
On a hot July day Erin Wright lay on the bank of the river, watching it roll away. Today the river had few fishing boats and few people could be seen. Many days she enjoyed sitting here watching the water roll down the Mighty Mississippi. Today was no different, the sand between her toes reminded her of the many days she had spent with her family here. In the distance she could see a barge making its way upriver, fish rolled in the water below her, and a fishing boat could be seen down river. Erin rolled over to get sun on her back, while she watched her nephew toy with his rod and real. The sun glared down scorching her skin to the dark tan she had always known. All of her life Erin had came here with her mother, father and sister. Now that she was grown and her parents had passed she live here permute. This had been there vacation spot, the spot Erin had enjoyed most. There had been so many good times here, and one bad time she would like to forget forever. The bad time was the reason she stayed and would not leave the banks of this river. Her mind drifted back to the days when she had walked along this river bank a happy woman of nineteen. She had been engaged and was happy. Things changed, she had found the one she loved in the arms of another woman. Then out of shame he had ended his life just down below her in the river. Still today she felt to blame that she had left here after she found him with the other girl. when she found him there with the girl her insides had told her to leave before she had done something stupid. Now she wished that she had stayed. No one knew the truth of what had happened that day, except her, the girl and God. She stayed here after all this time to keep Lynn’s memories alive. Question was why? Cade had ask her so many times why she wouldn’t go live in the house that her parents had left her. She really just felt that this was home, she had spent so many days there and enjoyed this house more with her memories. Even the bad ones. Danny, her nephew, walked up and sat beside her, knowing he had grown tired of the heat she offered him a soda. The young boy brushed the sand from his hands and gladly excepted. Danny looked out at the barge hoping it would be the one his father was on. His eyes grew wider and wider as it came into close view. Then when he could read the name of the barge his face dropped. Erin patted the boy on the back, knowing he missed his father more since his mothers death. The boy was taking it rather well since he came here, he had something to keep his mind busy. Erin enjoyed his company as well. She enjoyed spending time with the last member of her family, and seeing the last one she loved look at her as if he truly needed her. Her sister, Nicole, had died little over two months ago from a tumor. Nicole had been very sick in her last days and had very little to do with anyone, including her son. Nicole had ask Erin to take Danny to live with her as her dying wish. Nicole knew that Erin would take care of her baby, and supply him with the motherly love she wouldn’t been able to give him any longer. Her husband supplied well for the two of them, but was out on the river for at least a month at a time. Nicole also knew that having the young boy with her, Erin would have other things to think about besides the sorrow that was in her heart. Nicole knew Erin well that even when she was down about the things that had happened in her past that she would hid it. Nicole also knew that her sister kept all of the things in her past inside her all the time. She had never let go of what had happened if she never had anything to take her mind from it. Nicole wanted her younger sister to have back the cordage and strength she had had before the day that changed her life. Nicole was always protective of Erin in the younger days when they were growing up. When it came to Erin’s engagement to Lynn Brock, Nicole had been none to happy. She knew that something was wrong between the couple even if they acted happy in the public eye. Nicole had seen her sister cry sometime when she was trying to the sorrows that were in her heart. Nicole had always confided in her husband, Cade, that fact. Both knew that Erin wanted to have what they had, being happy and loving. Cade had told Nicole many times not to say anything so till the day she die she never said a word. Before telling Erin to take care of her family, Nicole, told her to live her life and stop chasing a man who was gone. Erin remembered this very well. “Why should I be given a second chance at love?” Nicole looked at her weakly. “Why does the Mighty Mississippi flow down?” Nicole then told her about all of her knowing things, about the tears she had saw fall from Erin’s eyes, the way she couldn’t hide the stress between Lynn and herself, and that someday a man would catch her eye and it would be love just like Cade and herself. Cade Jackson, stood on deck of the barge, he called home for months at a time, looking out down the river bank only a few miles to where his sister-in-law’s house stood. He knew that Danny would be watching for him as he passed on his way to the dock. The water reflected the light off of the tin roof so it could be seen through the trees. Jax Perry, his ship mate came up beside him. He had met Nicole and knew that nothing had meant more to Cade than she and Danny. He nodded to his friend and waited along side him to wave to Danny as they passed. When the clearing in the bank came into view Cade put out his signal for the horn. Danny stood waving happily at his father as they slowly passed by. Cade was sure he could see the smile on his face when he saw him run down to the waters edge. Cade also waved to Erin, his sweet little sister-in-law. Jax waved to Danny as hard as he could till his eyes landed on the girl. She had hair that glistened in the sun, which gave off the glow of a halo. Cade had mentioned that she was taking care of his son, but he had not mentioned that she looked like an angle on the shores of the river. Jax had never truly been in love, but now something ached inside just from the sight of the lady standing by the river side. He had seen many women standing on the land as they passed by and none had caught his eye quite the way that she did. Of course he looked at the pretty girls standing by the river or when he was passing one on land. The image of her standing there in that black bikini had his mind whirling. After his parents had passed on he really hadn’t looked for a woman to keep him company, but now he just wanted to keep that woman company. What was he thinking? He didn’t know that girl, except for what Cade had told him. She cared for his best and only friend in the world’s son. She was an artist known to many, he’d even seen some of her work when he visited the galleries. Jax loved her work, but never expected that the girl who painted them would catch his heart like her work did. Cade watched Jax’s expression even after they had passed the curve. His eyebrow raised at the expression on his friends face. “What’s wrong with you, Jax?” Cade probed. “Awe, nothing man I just think my mind is playing tricks on me.” “How do you mean? Did you drink the water?” Cade laughed. “How come you didn’t tell me there would be an angel on that shore?” Cade’s face changed. He became calmer than Jas had seen him in months. Cade thought about the expression his friend had used about Erin’s beauty. “I’ve never noticed, I guess. She doesn’t look anything like Nicole I think is why. She is an angel to my boy, and will make a good wife to someone someday. She isn‘t or hasn‘t been looking for a man in a very long time now though. Maybe …” “If she looks as heavenly up close, then she’d make the perfect model. What do you mean by that? Would you not trust me with her?” “Oh man no! That’s not what I mean. I’ll tell the story sometime. Would you like to go home with me this weekend, you could meet her. Might even keep some of the awkwardness from between she and I. She’s not the same since she didn’t get married along time ago. And it feels weird to go and stay in her home and know that Nici isn’t there.” “I don’t have anyplace better to go. Beside this will be the first time you’ve gone home from a trip with out your beautiful wife waiting you may need a friend.” Erin had noticed Jax as well he stood on the deck looking strong and masculine. She could see he was one of Cade’s friends because the two kept looking at each other talking. The man had dark hair and a lean figure from what she could tell. She kept him in her sight till the barge had passed to far to see any more. Erin tried to force her self not to think about the man, she had no time for a man any longer. She was busy taking care of child and being an artist when she had the time. Of course, she did still feel something was missing on the nights that it rained and the water was rising. It was then when she missed things that she had once had. It was then that she dreamed the dream of being in someone’s arms again. Oh the nights that it rained she knew that she’d never have what she had had. Erin Remembered the first time that she and Lynn had went out on a date, it was a rainy night here on the landing outside of her room . She had fixed dinner and brought him up here to see her paintings. It had began to rain and it seemed to be like the night would be ruined. Instead they had danced in the rain and went back inside and talked till her parents came up and told him it was time to go home. Erin had lay awake all night and thought about what was to come and hoping that he was the one. He was so sweet. Lynn called her in the early morning hours and told her he had to see her again. He asked when she would be able to go out again. They’d made plans that turned into months of dates then a year engagement, and then tragedy. Her mind came back to the present when she heard her nephew. Danny called to her excitedly. “Aunt Erin, did you see it? Did you see Daddy’s big barge?” They hurried to the house knowing it would not be long till “Daddy” or Cade arrived. They had supper to get and a room to fix up. Danny had drawn many pictures for his father since he had been gone, some of the barges passing and some of the fish he caught. Erin tacked them to the wall in the room she had made for Cade and Nicole in the year before, before she knew that Nicole was sick. They had supper started and the two were satisfied with there work. Erin’s mind kept going to the man on the barge with Cade, who was he and was he as nice as he looked? She walked out onto the porch where she had been painting earlier and began to look at her work. Erin set into painting his frame into the barge that was in the painting that she had been working on. Erin looked out toward the river and smiled. How she loved living here, even when there was no way out but by boat sometimes. Not only the memories of Lynn kept her here, it was because the river kept her safe from the world. She had always loved it here as a child. This camp house had been serine and beautiful back then and now it was getting back to the same, since she decided that it would be the permit home for her. She could paint with peace, and she could sun bath with out people watching and she enjoyed that. Erin loved to fish and eat fish and she could do both here. The river had it glory at times, like early morning it was beautiful to paint. The fog on the river was enough to make her want to paint it every time. When she saw a new barge or old one she would try to remember it so that she could put it in her work. She could paint nearly anything but she would rather paint this river anyday. Cade and Jax gathered their things to go on land. Cade looked at Jax and noticed he was clean shaved and showered. Cade inwardly chuckled. Maybe this once he could do something for Erin. She had cared for Danny and Nicole through the sickness. She never said anything to Cade about not being there for Nici. She was as Jax had put it an angel. He could never repay her in full for all she had done. Cade of course knew the past of hurt that Erin had had when it came to men, but he also knew Jax to be a kind and gentle man. For some reason God had put it in his heart to bring these two to meet. Jax whistled around the cabin as he packed the last of his belongings. Cade again chuckled at the demeanor of his friend. Jax had nothing outside of his job, no family, no where to call home, and no woman. He always made it his point to turn down the offers that Cade had given in the past to come to his home, but at one sight of Erin he had dropped that rule. He hoped that this meeting would turn into something that he would be happy about. Cade finally finished his packing and the two bargemen set out for land. Cade knew of Erin’s destitute and knew that maybe a man that a man like Jax could bring her back to the not so quite woman she had become. Once Erin’s eyes had held love and passion, now they held distance and sorrow. Cade also thought that was why Erin chose to stay in the camp house instead of the house in town that her parents had left her. Though the camp house was a beautiful place, he thought that the house in town suited her better. Cade cared for Erin like she was his own sister, since he had no family. Erin had looked up to Nicole because she had all that she wanted. She had lost it all on that dreadful day so many years ago. So Cade wanted to give Erin something to look forward too. There was no way that he could take her as his own, but he knew that someone would make her happy. That someone just might be Jax. Jax thought about his past and knew that something was missing in his present. Of course it had to be love that was missing. He’d never needed a woman when his mother and father where around they loved him and he loved them. Maybe now he needed love from someone else and hopefully it would be that beautiful Erin. He had saved every dime he had made since his folks passed, he’d only spare enough to pay for a motel room and food while off the barge. He never went around many people unless it was a art gallery, he loved art. He love Erin’s art. He sketched in his spare time on board and off. Maybe she could tell him if he was any good. Jax laughed at himself. Why was he being silly about a girl he never met and who my not like him. Two hours later Danny heard his father’s truck pulling down the drive. He boy’s face light up like a light as he ran to the door. His smile told it all. Erin smiled as she watched him run down the long steps that came from the house that stood high on stilts. He rushed down to meet his father and hugged him tightly as he could. Erin stood for a moment staring at the two, how sweet that sight was. She should have seen that same thing with her own family, but things wouldn’t work out like that now. Danny helped his father with the smallest bag and drug it to the steps. Erin walked down the steps, and waved. Then her eyes saw the same frame that had been in her sight just hours before. Shock rushed over her, what was he doing here? She helped Danny, with the bag as he drug it up the steps. Then walked over to where the three of them stood. Cade smiled to her so did Jax his eyes never leaving her. “I hope you don’t mind me bringing home a friend of mine. He just roams aimlessly when he’s off the river.” Said Cade. “Oh, of course not! You two will probably be busy so I will be a delight to have someone else around. I should go and prepare you a room.” Erin said. “Excuse Cade, he’s so excited to see you guys he forgot to introduce me. I’m Jax Perry. Nice to meet you Erin. I’ve heard quit a bit about you.” “Hope it was true what you heard. Nice to meet you too, Jax.” She laughed. Erin realized that Danny and Cade had slipped off into the house. Erin smiled and picked up a bag from off the ground. Jax grinned and followed as Erin lead the way up the steps. Jax could see the muscles in her legs and back. She must get plenty of exercise that was certain. Erin could feel Jax’s gaze on her and could feel that he must be enjoying watching her. She opened the door and found that Danny and Cade were looking at the pictures that the boy had drawn for him. She heard Cade laughing from down the hallway when she showed Jax where he could sleep. She started to pull out the sheets and pillows for the bed, but Jax stopped her. He held her hand for a moment and looked in her eyes. Then like electric had shocked him he let her go. “I’ll take care of that.” He assured. “You should join your family.” “Supper is ready, when you come in here we will eat.” She smiled and turned and left. They all sat at the table and ate listening to Danny’s stories about the days that his father was gone. He told his father and Jax about the fifty pound catfish that Aunt Erin had caught. Some where during his story it turned into a seventy-five pound catfish. Truth being it was only about ten pounds. The three adults listen and laughed at the story. Around eleven Danny had fell asleep on the front porch swing with his father. Cade excused himself to tuck his little guy into bed. This left Jax and Erin alone on the porch. There was silence for a short moment. Jax sat and watched the moon light on her face, she truly was an angel. Even in the dark he could see her face, it had somehow etched itself in his mind. No other woman had ever caught his eye this easily before. “The paintings in my room, did you do those?” Jax finally asked. “Yes, all the paintings in the house I did, with the few that I have added of Danny’s. The paintings that are here I’ve kept because they have a meaning.” “They are beautiful. Do you sell many? I mean you seem to be very talented, you should be selling them easily.” “Yes, I do sell quite a few. I make enough to not have to dip into my inheritance.” “I’ve actually seen some of your work in the galleries in Memphis. I do a bit of sketching myself maybe you could look at them and tell me what you think.” “I’d love to.” He handed Erin the sketch pad he had been hiding behind him. “You came prepared.” Laughed Erin. “Cade and I speak of you often, he told me you would look at them he was sure.” “He knows me well. He is my sisters heart now that she is gone you know.” She said turning the pages. She turned the pages amazed that he was working on a barge. She turned to the last page. The girl in the picture was …well it was her. Erin raised her brow. “When did you do this one?” “Right before you came outside after dinner.” “You mean you could see me where you were?” “No, your face is etched in my mind for some reason.” Erin tilted her head and looked at it “Well you are really good. You shouldn’t be working on a barge that’s for sure.” “Thanks, can I ask you something?” “Sure.” “Would you mind showing me some things on canvas sometime?” “Of course, I’d love to give you a lesson or two.” Erin smiled. Cade came back outside. He looked from one to the other and smiled. He sat in his chair and kicked off his shoes. Erin felt as if her heart would burst watching him here where Nicole had died. Maybe she could move into town like Cade had ask her to, but she would miss the river so much. “No, I lost all chance of that years ago.” She said grimly. “I should turn in. Do you have any requests for breakfast?” “As long as it tastes as good as the supper you cooked I don’t care.” He smiled little wondering why she felt that she had lost her chance. Moments later Cade came back to the porch. He could see that his friend was confused over something. He sat for a minute and waited to see if he’d ask a question to get what he wanted out in the open. “What’s up?” Cade asked. “Erin, she’s beautiful. Why is she so distant to everyone except Danny? She is even distant to you. Now that I stuck my foot in my mouth she’s even more distant to me.” “You’ll have to understand what happened here, to know why Erin is like she is.” “You mean Nicole?” “No, Erin was to marry, he was a good boy, her high school sweetheart. They had plans. She would live here with him and he’d fish and make money for them. She’d paint, too. They had planned there wedding two weeks before the day that it happened.” “What happened?” “Erin came home here, the place she loved, to find that someone had came in and broken in the door. She was scared because she knew that Lynn was suppose to be home by now and she didn’t see his boat. She walked through the house never seeing a soul.” A sound in the house brought Cade’s voice to a whisper. “She saw blood trailing down to the river. She was scared to death. She called Nicole, I was the first to arrive. She was kneeling down by the river with his cherished necklace in her hand. She was silent, she wouldn’t respond. I called in a search party.” “They never found him did they?” Cade shook his head feeling a little guilty that he hadn’t done more. He remembered how she had just sat there and cried for days, staring out over the river. She never left the house for months. One day Nicole called and was hysterical. Erin was talking again but she feared that she had gone crazy. Erin had gone into the room that her parents had fixed for Lynn to stay in till the wedding and she was dragging all of his things down to the river. She had thrown her wedding dress first and last the necklace that she had found on the river bank. She had never told anyone why she had been so mad and done that. From that day one she had been quiet and distant to everyone. “Well, Cade, I’ll be a patient man. I want to help her heal those wounds. My heart and my mind has her face and her heart etched in it now. I know I sound crazy right now, but I think maybe it was love from the moment I saw her standing on that river bank down there.” “Just promise me that you will be gentle and not push her. We have three weeks for her to get to know you, before we leave maybe she will open up some. I have a few things that I’d like to do to get you two a bit closer.” The men agreed and retired for the night. Jax lay in bed but didn’t sleep. He thought about the girl in the room above him. He could hear that she wasn’t asleep either and wondered what she was doing. He stared at the ceiling listening to her. She was pacing the floor. He wondered if it would make her mad if he went up to talk to her. He lay there for a while longer then he got up and dressed himself. He walked quietly down the hall to the stairs. He looked up wondering if he would regret this or if it would bring them closer. Erin paced the floor. Why was this man having such an impact on her thoughts. She painted him right into a picture where someone else should have been. Someone else, Lynn. In all of her paintings the men were somehow Lynn one personality or the other. He had been handsome, his eyes like brown chocolate, his smile like a whisper, and now instead of painting his face into the carnival scene she painted a complete stranger. She couldn’t forgive herself for that day seven years ago. She’d came home found her house a wreck and knowing that Lynn was somewhere she was scared to find him. She saw him he was in her bed, and she was with him. He’d promised! June Thomas had been in the picture now for a year and she thought she had finally broken the spell she had on him. June thought the same of her. June looked up. What the… her voice trailed off. Lynn saw Erin when she had turned to run down the stairs. She left. Erin had driven back into town and sat for awhile at the park when June pulled up. June came to her. She told her she had not known that they were still together or that it was her house. June told her that Lynn had told her to leave and never come back. Something that all this time he had never told her to do before. Erin returned to the house only to find that Lynn wasn’t inside. She walked down to the river bank she saw trails of blood. Everything faded she could only remember when Cade had came. A knock at the door brought her back to the present. “Come in.” She said whipping away the tears and expecting Danny. “Are you ok?” Jax said. “Yes, I’m just having a bad night I think. I’m sure that Cade told you about what happened.” “He did, I’m sorry that something like that happened to you.” “You shouldn’t be sorry, I brought all that on myself. I shouldn’t have thought I could change a man that wouldn’t change.” “What do you mean?” “There are things that I’ve never told anyone about. Like the fact that he shot himself, because… I shouldn’t have told you that, I don’t know you.” “It’s okay, I’ll never tell anyone. If nothing else can come of what I feel I’d like to be your friend.” Jax smiled. “I want to get to know you and I have since I saw you yesterday on the shore side.” “Why? I’ll only cause you trouble.” “Let me be the judge of that, please. I’d like to try if nothing else. I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally. I.. uh.. Think I more feelings than just…” He put his hand over his mouth. “I shouldn’t have said that. Only time will tell you that. If you’ll just be friends with me maybe get to know me. I’d like to get to know you as close as you will let me.” “I’ll try to let you be my friend. That is about all I can offer you, I don’t have my heart to give to anyone.” Erin wondered to herself why she had added in the last part. They spoke for a moment more then Jax went back to his room to sleep. Erin lay on the bed and dreams overtook her. She was walking along the shore like always in her dreams, she saw someone standing at the edge of the water waving to her. Lynn she thought, it was always Lynn when she dreamed. She ran along the path to meet him suddenly the dream changed it was different from the other dreams. Instead of the normal t-shirt and jeans she was wearing a dress. There stood Jax instead of Lynn. He held out his hand and they stepped on board a boat. They floated out to open water and he pulled her close kissing her softly. Her heart ached but the pain from before was gone. Before Erin knew it, it was morning the dream had ended. Erin opened her eyes and the morning gloom that was usually present was gone from her heart. Erin sang for the first time in years while she fixed breakfast. Cade entered the kitchen and raised a brow. He wondered what had gotten into her. She smiles and chatted with him while she fixed their meal. Was this change because of Jax? Cade sure hoped so. Danny entered the kitchen and smiled at his aunt oddly. Cade looked at his son, he must notice the difference too. “So did you sell a painting or something?” questioned Cade. “NO! I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in years.” She winked at Danny and looked around “Everything is ready guys, but where is Jax?” “I’m standing right here watching someone I’ve seen but don’t know.” He grinned. The whole group laughed. Erin whispered in Cade’s ear that she wanted to speak with him after the meal. They all enjoyed the meal that she had made with more sprit than ever. Everything was perfect too. After the meal Jax offered that he and Danny should do the dishes. Erin agreed. She walked out on the porch and Cade followed. “Cade, I want to tell you something that I’ve never told you before about that day.” So Erin began the whole story. When she had finished she smiled. “I think you for bringing Jax here. I’ve never met someone who could get to me in this way till now.” “And what way would that be?” “He came to me last night and offered to be my friend. He never had to say exactly what he felt, but I feel different about him too. I haven’t felt this alive since before that day on the banks of the Mighty Mississippi.” Cade smiled inwardly. “Good, I think he was smitten by the angel standing down there yesterday.” “What?” “He knows more about you than you know about him. He doesn’t have many friends besides me, but when he saw you his eyes light up with fire.” Erin Blushed. “No need to blush, sweet little sister, many men I have worked with have seen you as beautiful. None would I have brought home to meet you. Till now. The two of you will be good friends even if you can’t give him all of you. I feel though that one day you will.” Erin smiled and turned to go inside. “Could you help me with something?” “Sure, what do you need?” “I need to remove some things from the house.” She smiled again. “There is a new beginning for me now so Lynn should be out of it. I’m going to go and sell the paintings.” Shock hit Cade. Erin had been offered a half a million dollars for just one of the paintings, but all of the Lynn paintings as she had called them where not to be sold. He followed her up to her room. She began to remove the paintings carefully from their places on the walls. He crated them in some empty crates and carried them down stairs to her truck. Jax looked at the paintings after Cade had gone back inside, she was good real good. He noticed that all the men in the paintings had a similar look to them. Lynn, he realized. She was letting go of him? Had just that small conversation helped her that much or was there something more. Cade came out with another crate and piled them in the truck. “I don’t know what you did but thank you.” Cade laughed. “She just made a deal to sell these for four and a half million dollars. She would never sell these before and she was offered enough to sell them twice over.” “I’m confused, she said she…Oh man what is going on?” “She said this was a chance for a new beginning. Hopefully soon she can give you more than her friendship. She already knows that you love her just a little, but it was enough to pull her out of that depression. I’d had enough after seven years you know.” |