Within Today.

Long, sable locks toppled down Evonne Whitley's back as she attempted, for the upteenth time to fix her hair into a messy bun. Now she stood staring in the waist-length bathroom mirror, sighing at her disheveled appearance.
Reaching behind her, Evonne caught the doorknob and twisted it to the right until she heard the inevitable click. Instantly she knew there was no help for herself - people would have to learn to accept the new flustered, forgetful, disfigured girl that she was now.
These days all Evonne mused over, without feeling the pangs of regret, was the simplicity of real life. For once in twenty-nine years she could take in every experience with all six of her God-given senses.
She must remember, she must move on, she must not worry and yet all her conscience told her was simply that her loneliness was wearing thin.
So today, an appreciation was due her Creator. Make it count. Her conscience pleaded, at last letting her alone after ceaseless months of being under fear's scrutiny. Evonne shook off the doubt and accepted the path aheqad of her, whatever the cost.
Granted, Jason was gone and her parents knew nothing of her existence but how could the uncertainty of tomorrow compare to all the glorious joys of a new day?
Evonne pulled on a pair of Pumas, slid a grey sweater over her shoulders, and grabbed the spare keys. Discreetly, she adjusted her aviators and skipped out the door. No one could recognize her now. Not after the hair-dying frenzie she had been in last night with Cassandra. Too bad her cousin had to leave for Phoenix right after breakfast, or she would've felt more secure.
No-God-you are my security today.
Mm. One step away from the small-town apartment and Evonne knew she couldn't regret her decision. A warm autumn breeze kicked up some freshly mowed grass along the sidewalk.She passed a plethora of colorfully diverse trees, her favorite by far forever being the Japanese Maple. It felt so good to be back in Camp Hill again!
"After all these years, Eva," Cassie had giggled, unlocking her apartment, more excited than Evonne had seen her since Micah had passed away. The memory provided encouragement, someone wanted her, that had to count for something!
Dillon's malevolent persona came into focus just when she had put her guard down completely! How naive did she think she was, parading around town like that?
"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness." Evonne let her gaze linger on the 3 by 5 card just a little longer than normal, as she geared herself up for this beautiful Monday.
Sucking in a deep breath of mid-morning air, Evonne braced herself for the silver Toyota camry parked out front.
"Must be Micah's old '94! I didn't know driving century old vehicles was that common around-" The statement died out as she slipped into the driver's seat and gripped the stearing wheel. Five minutes on back road spoke otherwise.
"I wish you coulda been with me, Jase." A tear found its way down her uncommonly makeupless complexion as she fought for control. "Some battles are fought with swords and spear - like David's. Mine were fought in a blank, abandoned, colorless room with only you." Her little boys' pudgey fingers reached for her face as she struggled to complete the thought, his last word's to her bleeding heart still hadn't faded from her memory. "You are my only....shield....Mommy."
A well-sized shopping center appeared to the left of Rt. 15 and she decided to turn in and grab a quick coffee at Barnes & Noble. How shallow these days felt now, how purposeless, selfish....Days before her dear little nephew lay alive and suffering! It had been minutes before she realized what was happening, in that one moment. All because of a balding, languid taxi driver that couldn't keep his eyes on the road.
Reaching the parking lot, Evonne moved with surprising skill into a parking space not far from the entrance of her favorite book store. She could almost smell the aroma of a Chai Latte. Was that wrong to crave something for herself when she had been so irresponsible? Stupid. Turning the engine off, Evonne rested her head on the steering wheel, the silent tears refusing to subside.
Psalm 3:3 drifted into her heart, soothing her scars with David's poetic verse "you are a shield around me, O Lord, you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." Repeating it over in her mind, Evonne did a grin in her foggy rearview mirror while confidently reaching for the shiny purse she had tossed earlier in the back seat. Making for the entrance, Evonne realizedshe'd discarded the glasses back in the Toyota. Discreetly, she flipped her head upside down and tied her newly died raven-colored hair into a severe knot at the top of her skull. Hoping the look would turn nosy, prodding fans from looking too closely. Evonne bough a Mocha-over-ice, opting for something different. Chais were of the past...they began and ended with Dillon.
Now for some much-needed sight seeing! Leaving, the building quickly, Evonne made it to the car, slid in, and took out the sheet of cotton candy colored paper Cassie gave her this morning before she took off too make the flight from Harrisburg to Phoenix. Hmm...never had she really contemplated her cousin's job. A flight attendant? Hadn't she been the one who would perform on Broadway someday? All those days of dressups....hadn't gone to waste for Evonne. Had they?
So much for dreams. Dillon had been part of her beautiful happily ever after once, until Jason came along. What had really disconnected them for so long....Eva had wondered about that more than once....

To be continued.....=]