Doomed by fear

I am not afraid,
I have killed for pleasure,
Burned and broken,
loved and hated,
Without unease or weakness.

The rush of no controle,
Is the high on which I live,
I care not of others misery,
Nor for my own,
For It can never consume me.

Fear is a word I have refused
to even think of,
I feel no remorse, no regret,
and my pain is forgotten,
For pain is weakness,
And I must be strong.

But the darkness I can sense,
To the aura I am familiar,
Like the blood curdling scream
of an innocent,
As it screams its pain into your ear,
you feel that aura near.

But the darkness does not scare me,
For my life is dark, and its my home,
But there is a pit inside me,
it steepens, and you are falling into black,
And you canot climb out, for the walls
are too tall.

My eyes, empty as coal,
My soul, withered to ash,
And my mind is all thats left,
Bent on survival with all of my might,
So fear does not catch up.

Fear is not an option in my life,
I need my witts about me at all times,
For you are always watched, never alone,
Never safe, and I know I will die,
For I am doomed by fear.