Naked Mouse Snob

Dear Supervisor,

This morning when I came in to work, I noticed a small "Welcome" mat in front of my desk drawers. Where that is odd, all by itself, I thought that perhaps I might investigate. However, upon opening the drawer, a mouse began squeeking at me with such fervent brickbat that it seems I interrupted it's bathing! You can imagine my upset, I'm sure, at having just seen a *naked* mouse! Well. The whole experience taught me one thing for certain - knock on your drawers before you just go opening them.

I decided I might at least introduce myself, but after politely knocking on the drawer, the mouse ran atop my toes (fleeing for safer bathing grounds, I imagine) and skittered down the hallway just outside my cube. Of course, I thought it was quite rude of that mouse to treat a landlord in such fashion, and I took personal affront! Really! The impertinence!

Recalling, however, that I'm not really the landlord, but rather a tenant, I'd like to appeal to the real Landlord(ess) to forcefully remove the the intruder who is squatting (read: a place occupied by squatters) in my cubical. I am willing, at this point, to accept a cube-mate. But I must demand, that the potential cube-mate cleans up after themselves, as the unkempt conditions of the bathing (ew - *naked*) mouse is quite upsetting and I find I no longer have a white board eraser to use, as the interloper chose to make it a part of their insulation against the cold metal against their skin, probably after getting out of the bath, as that is the most likely time that one would wish for insulation against a cold metal floor.

So, the new cube-mate might come in the form of a cat, or a ferret, or even a small dog, but I implore you to please pass along my desire that they be clothed prior to their move in date.

Most gratefully,

Jayme T Hunt
A bit of a naked mouse snob...
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