Daily Quote in Journal.

I don't typically share my journal entries with anyone. But I do a daily quote in my journal every week & I had a very lengthy answer to one in particular.

"Don't tell me who I am because even if I wrote all my thoughts down on a piece of paper & hand it to you, you don't know the half of it."

A-frickin-men. I'd like to say I'm not a complicated girl but I kinda am. I'm 15 & I've been through a lot of shit throughout the years. Change, lies, backstabbing friends, depression, pain, family issues, even a minor eating disorder. But I've been through good things too like people saving my life [literally], being pulled out of my depression, friends, family support, NST.. The Tech is a biggie. That huge change made me realize who my true friends are & I met many amazing people who changed my view on life [John, Melinda, Kirstin, etc.] & became closer to old ones I thought I grew apart from [Jake]. The people I made friends with are truly amazing. John & Melinda and even Shirley were the first people to actually go out of their way to befriend me & actually take the time to talk to me & try to understand me. I have realized that I'm really not an easy person to understand. I'm stubborn, I do things my own way, I have two different personalities: my school one that everyone sees & the real me that only a select few people see. I am a VERY different person out of school & I really think it shocks people. I'm mature around older people & I'm extremely immature around family & my closest friends. Rachel's told me I'm a very likable person because of my "charm" but not a lot of people get to see that. I'm hard to understand so those who take the time are the ones I keep close. The ones who get frustrated, screw 'em! They would probably screw me over in the end & take advantage of the vulnerability. It's happened many times & I don't intend for it to happen again. The walls go up & those that care enough to break them down, I love them to death. Thank you.




It's not the best thing I've ever written but I figured it would help people understand me & it would tell people that my friends literally are my saviors & my life. I don't know what I'd do without them.