I am your Clay

I AM YOUR CLAY

TABLE OF CONTENTS

I AM YOUR CLAY, MOLD AS YOU WILL 3
TAKE MY SOUL AND LIFT ME UP 4
I HAVE NOT MET YOU, BUT YOU ARE HERE 5
HE KNEW I WOULD BE HERE 5
THROUGH HIS EYES HE SAW ME FALL 6
SHOULD OF, COULD OF, WOULD OF 7
LET ME FEEL THROUGH YOUR HEART 8
THROUGH YOUR EYES I SEE YOUR SORROW 8
MY LIFE HAS COME FULL CIRCLE 9
THERE IS A REASON WHY HE IS MIGHTY 10
THERE IS SOMETHING – LISTEN TO YOUR HEART 11



HE LOOKS DOWN AT ME TODAY 11
CHALLENGE MY HEART OH LORD I PRAY 12
SOFTEN THIS CALLUSED HEART 13
EACH DAY TUGGING AT MY VERY WEAKNESS 13
SHE WAS THE ONE WHO HELD MY HAND 14
SMILE 15
SHE IS NOT ME 15
THIS IS OUR CHILD 15
SHE LAUGHS 16
PEACE IS HOPE OF THE WORLD 17
MANY TIMES I HAVE HAD MY WAY, STRAYING AWAY 17
I SENSE YOUR LOSS 18

I am your clay, mold as you will
As a sheep I follow you
Searching, waiting for my shepherd
Where have I gone - it is so dark and alone
Will I ever find my way home?

It has been so hard, I thought I was strong
My ways were wrong, I ache with shame
What have I done to my life, my loves?
How can I start, what do I have to offer
My love is here, my heart is here
Waiting for you, forgive me, lift my spirits
Let me swim in your vast ocean of love
Searching, daring to believe again
That what once consumed my very being
Could consume my soul

Keep me from my weakness
Strengthen my Faith
Tolerating my stubborn heart
Now only filled with remorse and pain
Pierce my heart Lord
Drench me with your loving grace
You are my Salvation, my Father, my God
You have always been here
Although back hidden, somewhere

I have come full circle
I never thought I would be in this spot again
How many mistakes, must a person make?
Will I never learn? Make me strong
Forgive me Lord, for my faults
I have no right to ask for your love
To think you will be there
When I can not even trust myself
Cover me with your shield
Guide my actions, thoughts and life
 
I am the Mother, one they look to for guidance
How can I be so wrong, shelter us from the outside
Protect me from my enemies
The enemies that divide my families Lord
Give me wisdom, strength and peace
I am your clay, work my life Lord
Mold me with patient corners
Caress me with gentle hands
Forming me into the strong woman
You always knew I was

I am only one of your sheep who has run away from your flock 
Your Grace is sufficient for all of us
Give me time Lord to make right my wrongs
I have always loved you; my will has been broken
I have seen how wrong I can be in decisions I have made
Give me time Lord, to give back to you what I have taken
Let me Live, Love & Learn You


Take my soul and lift me up
Let my life be a joy to you
Burdens and hurts are strengths to me
Or I would not be here
Thank you for the pain
My aching body, my spirit broken
Now I am in this place again
Where I never thought I would be

You have always been there
Looking over my shoulder
With a silent voice
I took no heed
With a patient heart
You let me make my choices
I know as a parent the Love I have
You my heavenly parent-
How much more Love, you have always given
I judge myself, I know my faults
Circumstances that overwhelmed me
Empower me Lord -Make me whole
I am your vessel; fill me with your grace






Take these shingles of my eyes
Let me see my wrongs
Let me help others who like me have gone astray
Work in my life, how you will
Make your purpose my will
Let me follow -filled with your spirit


I have not met you, but you are here
You are young- you have much to see
Where will you go?
A beautiful child, one I' m sure your parents treasure
Let me take your hand and be a part of your life
We need you too
We have much and would like to show you we care
Let us share a smile, a thought a laugh
Let me be your friend, though miles away
You are in our hearts


He knew I would be here
Once again kneeling at his feet
Before I was even thought of, my life was mapped out
The straight and narrow -has not always been my choice
So I have had to find things out the hard way as many
Down here where I am alone,
With no one but myself to get me out of the mess
I come to you
Forgive me
What peace I feel, in your presence
Praising your name, living in peace within myself
I have never been what others wanted me to be
But you have always been here for me
You love me - You have like a parent loved me
Protected under your umbrella a shield
Watching over me quietly, letting me make my choices
I have no right to expect that you would love me
That you would give me a chance to love you
Thank you for giving me this chance Lord
I have grown-I have seen how wrong I can be
You have forgiven me, but can I forgive myself
You gave everything - so that I may be given a new Life

Through his eyes he saw me fall
Through his heart-he felt my sorrow
In his death, he gave me life, by his grace I am saved
His body broken for me, waters baptizing me
I am a new being
Giving me a new life
Each day waking and ending with your promises
Let me be steadfast, breathing, eating, living your word
In your circle of faith, make me strong
Through my eyes I see your works
Through my heart I feel l your love
In my live I am dead to the world
My body a temple to you
I am a new being giving others - New Hope
Each day I am waking up and ending my day with you
Steadfast, living your word
Within this circle of faith I'm strong


You can not elude me I am here
You can not hide your secrets
Your heart is here
Open - I can see all
Nothing is hidden from me
Mistakes and hurts felt and caused by you

Many forget, others don't care
Some sit on a fence
Watching and following the crowd
Your peers mean more to you than your God

I am watching you
The challenges of life at time are hard
Your life may be constantly on edge
But I am always here, carrying you under my wings
Remember my purpose - your purpose
So sweet are my promises to you






Should of, could of, would of
This is Judgment Day
These are the excuses given
When the time is no more
How will I defend myself?
What have I done?
Who have I turned to?  God?
When did I give to him the praises and glory?
Only coming to him when in trouble or hurt
Rejected by the world - he was always there
Forgiving me - Loving me

This is Judgment Day
I have been your servant
In eternal life I will praise your name Hosanna
You are my deliverer, my comforter
Many times I have come to you for peace and assurance
Questioning but always believing your word


Shepherd King- teach me to be faithful
As a small child as you
Without the weapons and excuses
We all have come to rely on
Your belief saved many
And can teach us what a small child
Or faith can do
We all have many giants in our life
That overpowers us mentally and physically
Let me learn from you













Let me feel through your heart
Let my hands be your hands
My work is you work
Let me stand beside you
Taking your lead - I will follow
 
I am a child lost in the dark
Searching for what, where am I going?
Challenge me Lord
Search me
Work through this vessel
Let your will be mine
My will be yours

I am tired, give me strength
Energize my very being
With worship and praise
I daily receive your gifts
I daily ask for more


Through your eyes I see your sorrow
Through my eyes I see your pain
Once strong, alive with warmth and vigor
Now only the last minutes remain
Our time is short, but the memories will always shine
They live in my children

Your Love has never been questioned
My Love has never been so needy
Each stroking the other with kind words
Encourager, friend
Mother, what a wonderful name
God gave children the comfort
The Love no other could have other than God

You gave of yourself, unselfishly
Proud of the children you raised
Though hurt many times with mistakes I’ve made
You always left the door open your heart open for me



Now I am a Mother, what a wonderful gift
I will encourage, and be a friend
I treasure each moment God has given me with you
Showering you with praises, and
Sharing your hurts and most dreams

Soon you will, walk in these shoes as a parent
I hope you will be patient, when you feel lost
Keep God in your heart, praying constantly for guidance
When you are alone, here as I am right now
I can look at you and know why
I am here to be your Mother the Best Mother I can be!

 
My life has come full circle
I am back with you
You knew me while I was in my mother's womb
Each step I have taken you have been beside me
My life has many curves, but I always had you
Through tears, hate and rejection

I always knew you were there
Waiting for me to break
Waiting for me to turn back to you
Waiting for me to yield to you

I Rejoice, I am here
Peace fills my heart
Warmth of your Love is here in me
Let me wake each morning
Living each day for you
Drench my heart with your Love
Search my heart Lord, make me whole

I always knew you were there
Waiting for me to break
Waiting for me to turn back to you
Waiting for me to yield to you





When I have a need, He’s here
Leaving it at his feet and I believe
The faith of a child is all I need
In God’s great wisdom, I shall receive
He knows the hair on my head, when I was in my mother’s womb
Do you think he doesn’t know me now?
He knew I would be here
Asking, seeking his word – how great He is
Ask and I will receive, He is waiting for me – only to ask
Join the family of believers
Live for him – He is the reason
He is ready to give


There is a reason why He is Mighty
There is a reason to believe
He gave his son because He loved us
This is the reason to believe
He emptied his life & gave us freedom
He shares his Love and eternal home

If we only believe
Give him your heart
Walk in his footsteps
Ask for wisdom, feed on his word
He is the reason
He guides and protects us
We are his sheep

Thank you Lord, for giving me time to return home
Giving me a second chance
I am not worthy
As your child I have many of your promises
My heart holds on and believes
Thank you God – you are eternal
Open my heart – use my life
Make me strong, I Believe






There is something – listen to your heart
Open your mind and see
Leave the rest to him
He lives in us
I do believe, we should agree
Follow his word and believe
Watch your life
Warn your friends
Read and Believe
He is the Greatest
We are his sheep


He looks down at me today
With stretched out arms
Calling me close, within my soul
Through the filter of the cross
I am saved
Through the filter of the cross
I believe

Many days I’ve wasted
Choices draining my life
Now I’m at his feet
Remembering

Through the filter of the cross
I am saved
Though the filter of the cross
I believe

He is my Saviour
He lives in me
Praising your name
Intercede through me

Through the filter of the cross
You have saved me
Through the filter of the cross
I believe
Now my longing is over
My comforter is all that I need


Challenge my heart oh Lord I pray
Use me, your servant again today
Lifting your name in praise today
Thank you Lord for these things I pray

For the air so clean, I breathe each day
Laughter and calmness
The sight of nature – unique beauty 
This weak frail body
A tool of yours, reaching the world
Through one small child’s smile


The silent words that never will be spoken
The secrets and regrets and hearts broken
No caring hearts to listen?
God’s ear is always open
At his feet in forgiveness we pray
The Lord takes my emptiness away

You have been my only refuge
Cradled as a child in my Fathers’ arms
I rest assured of your Love
You sooth my heart
Unconditional love, you have always been there
Waiting for me when I fall

I as your child, I have many faults
You, my Father in heaven forgive and renew
My soul is cleansed and I know it’s so
My spirit is well, fresh with new hope

Decisions are now made with you in mind
Keep me close to your word
Shield my heart from lust and hate
Fill me with your living water Jesus

 




Soften this callused heart
Sift out lives worries
Wash my soul
As a child with a new heart
Carry me through my problems
You are in control
I give you my all

I am exhausted and my life is laid down
To you God, my comforter
Thank you for loving me enough
To forgive my selfish heart
Let me encourage my sister & brother
Not judging, for I will be judged
Lighten my heart – polish this stone
My life molded in service for you

 
Each day tugging at my very weakness
Listening to that dark, hidden child
Knowing full well the consequences of my actions
Yet I am ready to take that leap
Carelessly, I shatter another dream
Haphazardly, I sever another hold
I have this constant whirlwind tossing about in my life
Ready to destroy any happiness, I may find
Pure and just, my heart longs for the truth, the peace
Prisms within my world each a slice of change
Entangled in contradiction, hypocrisy
Forfeiting, life
The very depth of my soul is torn, broken
This urgency to act on feelings
Without searching my thoughts
We have all made these choices
Know that person in the mirror is a stranger
How can I distinguish that scared child from this?







She was the one who held my hand
Held me when I was alone
She gave me the patience, and gentle heart
To live with today’s heartaches
A warrior herself of lonely dreams lost
She realized her dreams might be lived through us

Some of those dreams were nightmares
We still haven’t woken up from yet
When did she start given up
As a child her life was shattered
Entangled in abuse and condemned
To living other people dreams
Feeling others hurts

Always thinking of others before herself
In the back of her mind she is still wondering
When is it her turn
Her turn to be happy, and be free
Will she ever be in love again?
She loves and has loved, but has not been in love for so long
Her heart almost aches searching for passion
Hoping, believing again but always disappointment wins

My life is following her tracks
I can feel those empty echoes
The cold shoulder, the nights alone, so alone
What am I here for, were am I going
I still do not know
Now I have someone following my footsteps
Can I give her better dreams, more hope?
Will she be challenged enough, to make her desires real?
Let me be as good as my teacher and let me shine
Let her paths be easier, her heart always love
Creating memories that are precious
So that when she comes to this day
She will look back and know, we have all been there, here
May you be full of peace and love my sweet daughter
A woman, mother, sister, friend, daughter my love





Smile
Smile so sweet
Smile of deceit
Smile of a child
Smile of lover
Smile like a butterfly
Smile of dreams
Smile of innocents
Smile in your eyes
Smile hiding lies
Smile changing minds
Smiles saying hello
Smiles crying goodbye
Smiles whispering secrets
Smiles telling the truth
Smile like a devil
Smile like a monkey
Smile of a grandparent
Smiles so transparent
Smiles telling half truths
Smile like an angle
Smiles as he looks down on us
Smile your smile no one else has
Smile like a sneak
Smile so meek
Smile of belief
Smile of relief
Smile of awe
Smile for us all
Smile bountiful and free
Smiles for you and for me
Smile my love
Smile from above
Smile from your love
A smile so true just for you



She is not me
But it’s plain to see
The hurt she feels
Has lived long in me
Now through her
My beliefs are relived
She is stronger
Yet so naive to forget



This is our child
Yet her eyes are as a stranger
So dim and scared
Has she forgotten where her home is?
Have we forgotten she was a part of us?
Or have we just given up

She made her bed now she must lie in it
We all make mistakes – why must you all judge
The loneliness, pretense
A smile hides a multitude of sorrow


She laughs
She cries I wonder why
This sweet mild child
Can be so wild
We play and sing and dance some days
And this is how we like to play
Running, jumping and playing a tune
Even sometimes being a fool
She looks at me and thinks I’m strange
But wants to be just like me
She wants to be a big girl, now she’s only 3
The memories I’ll have as she sits here on my knee
My girls, my lovely special forever princess

Sometimes I have no answers
I see your sorrow and bitterness
Yet I cannot make your heart peaceful
Others have heart you, as you let them in your heart
They have deceived you, told you untruths
You can only believe what you see
If you have any faith in me, in my love
You will see I’m not perfect, I have made mistakes
Only half truths have been spoken
My life, my hurts, how can we ever go on
I am not this horrible person they imagine
But I am one who let people use and hurt me
Using me for their pleasure and pain
I have grown, learned and died
One day you may understand the hurts of my heart
One day you may feel some of these pains I have
All I know is time passes and some of the pain goes away
But the memories will always be there
Make your memories count
Don’t let anyone cheat you out of these whispers of hope.








Peace is hope of the world
Peace is freedom untold
Sharing, giving, helping all
Family to family we all have a call
Reach out to someone
Show that you care, start with just one
You will make a difference
We will make a difference
If we have hope
There is always hope


Many times I have had my way, straying away
Far from home, I thought alone
Now looking, I realize you always were there
Though you never said no, you were always my shadow
Some may say it is fate, or call it their destiny
Your master plan like a painting of my life
In my mothers womb you knew me
Each hair on my head
Before creation you knew
The child I am
Your child, how could I have known?
I would be here


Lifting me up, holding me in your arms
Giving me enough room to find out for myself
Making me strong, believing and trusting only in you
You are my Peace, when I cry
You are my Peace, when I am broken
The days I don’t want to look at another soul
You cradle me, quietly loving me, just me

No other could love this way
No other can heal my pain
So real, yet long ago
My past holding the key, only whispers away
Only my Father’s Love is sufficient

 


I sense your loss
I feel your grief
Three gone leaving only memories
Brother-sister-and now mom
What can I say?
What would I do?

We have never been close
But I care and love you as family
As part of our life is gone
As in many other things
Death of a relationship
Of a friendship
Of a era
We can only look back and say
I should of, could of

The aching loss
All the questions
All the things that we wanted to say
Time is gone, life goes on
Make sure that our relationships are good and true
You are in my heart and I cry for your loss
May the Prince of peace be with you