my best friend (installment #5)

Once I arrived at the apartment I knew that although it was going to be hard to put Elijah behind me I could do it.
After three months I was settled in, College was great, the apartment was great. The only thing that wasn’t great was me. It wasn’t just Elijah that made me feel less than good. I mean it didn’t help that we hadn’t talked in a month and a half. No I actually felt physically ill now, nausea, headaches, and tiredness. I’d been feeling like it for the last two weeks, I’d convinced myself I had food poisoning or something but one evening after Jodie’s boyfriend Angelo came over the girls were convinced otherwise.
“Angelo is studying medicine Maddy, and in obstetrics, you’d think he knows a little about this”
“I’m not pregnant Jodie. There’s no way it only happened once… and we used… well you know” I said blushing
“Well Madison, I have a pregnancy test in my bag… it’s part of my thesis, Could you take it for me… you know you may as well… it will be negative anyway won’t it” Angelo grinned handing me the little white stick
“Fine” I muttered getting up. I walked into the toilet and sat down, the whole test thing was really stupid. Who seriously wants to put their hand between there legs when they’re peeing… well apart from guys? I sat the test on the floor and watched it a minute later there were two pink lines. I opened the door and yelled out
“What am I looking for?”
“One line is negative, two is positive” Angelo called out
I pulled my pants up as quickly as I could. I left the test on the floor of the toilet and ran out of the bathroom and out the front door before I even got to my car I was bawling my eyes out. I was pregnant, three months pregnant, what in god’s name was I going to do. I left and drove around for a few hours. By the time I got home it was 1am. I’d expected everyone to be in bed, but when I walked in they were all still awake.
“Maddy… are you okay?” Jacey said taking me into a hug
“do you want some chamomile tea? Angelo said that it’s good for Morning sickness”
“I’m fine. Were is Angelo… he’ll have answers for me right?”
“In my room, I’ll just go and get him”
“Can I just go and talk to him… this is embarrassing enough”
“Sure” she smiled

I walked down the hall and into Jodie’s room
“Ah Maddy. So… I’m sorry about making you take the test”
“It’s better to find out sooner than later”
“You don’t want to keep it do you” Angelo said slowly
“It’s not that I don’t want to… I can’t. I’ve got two years of study left, it’s father has fallen of the face of the earth and I’m not even 19 yet. So I can’t… I can’t have a baby right now”
“When did you know intercourse take place?”
“Before Christmas… October”
“Three months. You probably can’t have a termination, twelve weeks is the cut off unless there is something medically wrong with the fetus”
I shook my head. I couldn’t have a termination anyway. Maybe adoption could work but for now I was pregnant and I was going to have to deal with it.
“No… I don’t want to terminate. Its okay, I’ll get used to the idea”
“Look on the bright side Maddy. You’re due in the summer holidays, you’ll have three months with the bub… maybe by the end of the holidays you’ll be okay to go back to College”
“Maybe… thanks Angelo”

I left the room and went and sat in the kitchen.
“I might go to bed soon” I whispered to Jacey and Jodie who were huddled over the paper
“Maddy… you have to read this” Jodie said
“Maybe she shouldn’t Jod’s… not in her current condition”
“No… she needs to Jace… and she needs to find that son of a bitch to”
Jodie handed me the paper they were reading. The heading was

Instinct to Rock New York in February

The Band Instinct are penciled in for three concerts back to back from the 15th to the 18th of February. Tickets were sold out within minutes of vendors opening there doors. Instinct has been around for about five months, with the latest addition being Elijah Matthews Lead Guitarist and Vocals. Elijah has been tipped to be courting a few of New York’s finest as the band has been rehearsing here for a couple of weeks, Elijah has been spotted on various dates with the likes of….

I threw the paper away from me
“He’s a free man…”
“Maddy…”
“No… just leave it okay… he’s not worth it”

I went to my room. Two weeks he’d been in the city and yet he hadn’t tried once to contact me. I stared at my cell phone and scrolled through my contacts. I stopped on Elijah’s name and pressed the call button. It rang and rang. Finally it picked up
“Hello?” a drunken voice laughed down the phone
“Where are you Elijah?” I asked
“Whose this?”
“OH… just some girl you told to come over… at the servo… remember?” I lied
“Oh… uh yeah… sure... the Hilton… room 358”
“be there in five… that’s two minutes away from my house”

I left my room again and walked back down to my car. I drove to the Hilton and found room 358. my stomach churned and I almost walked away. But I couldn’t let this happen. I’d thought he was in love with me. But he was probably sucking a body shot off some woman’s chest right now.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. After a few moments the door opened. It wasn’t Elijah that opened it but some one else, I recognized him as the drummer
“Is Elijah here?” I asked
“Who’s asking”
“Cindy” I lied
“Eli… some hottie called Cindy here for you”
I folded my arms and waited at the door. When Elijah finally looked out the door at me he’s face dropped
“Uh… Madison?”
“Uh…. Elijah?” I mocked
“I don’t know what to say”
“That’s okay… cos I do. You’re a pig… and a fuckwit and a user and a liar. I thought you were in love with me. But you never were… were you?”
“You left me”
“We’d sorted it out. You gave a me this locket remember” I said pulling the silver off my neck. I threw it at him
“Well maybe it’s easier to be angry Madison. I was in love with you. But I can’t have you. It’s easier to be angry”
“What’s happened to you”
“I lost you Madison. Something I swore I’d never do. I don’t want to see you. I don’t love you anymore. Just go” he said, I looked into his eyes. My best friend… wasn’t there anymore.
“Okay… just thought I should let you know. I’m pregnant” I said before I turned and walked back down the hall
“Madison. Wait”
I stopped but didn’t turn around. I knew what he was about to say and I knew if I were facing him he’d see the hurt in my eyes
“What”
“Is it mine?” he said as I’d expected
“If you have to ask that you don’t really know me at all. Don’t worry. I don’t want anything from you”
“You can’t go Madison… we need to talk about this. I’m going to be a father”
“No… you’re not. I don’t want you there. I’m so hurt Elijah” I said turning around “I left you… back there because I needed this opportunity. Not because I didn’t love you. You’ve been here for two weeks and you never bothered to call at all. I don’t care that you’re sleeping around, getting drunk; I’ve been around all that before haven’t I. I never thought you’d be so harsh. I’m sorry. But if you want to be involved you can go through the courts”
“I still love you Madison” he whispered
“To bad it’s not enough”
“Were thinking about being based in New York. My idea, do you think that I chose NY randomly? I missed you Madison. The guys all know it. I’m constantly going on about you and all the songs I write. All you. This month is our trial if we make it work… we’re here indefinitely. I don’t sleep around either. I haven’t even looked at another girl since you”
“What about the paper” I muttered
“They make shit up Maddy. Come inside. It’s been the six of us and alcohol for two days straight”
“No… I’m feeling tired and sick. I want to go home”
“Maddy. Please forgive me. Come and see me tomorrow. Let me explain”
“Okay… I’ll see you tomorrow”
“Okay... I’ll be back here after lunch”
“Fine. Bye”

I went home and went straight to bed thankful that the evening’s events had worn me out because otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have slept. The next morning I got up around 9.30 I’d expected the girls to have left for College, but they were sitting at the table reading what looked like one of Angelo’s OB books.
“How are you this morning?”
“Tired. I ah went to Elijah’s Hotel last night” I said filling a cup with Coffee
“Should you be drinking that?” Jodie asked concerned
“It’s coffee Jods… not vodka”
“You might stunt the baby’s growth!” she protested
I took a sip of the coffee and let the nectar drain down my throat
“With My genes… Elijah’s not exactly short either you know”
“I know…. But still!!”
As the coffee settled in my stomach and I suddenly felt the pangs of morning sickness
“If it makes any difference though, I don’t think I’m going to be drinking coffee for a while” I muttered pouring the cup out
“Good… now you were saying…you went to Elijah’s hotel last night… did you see him?”
“Yeah. He was drunk; we sort of talked but none of it really made sense. He asked me to go over after lunch”
“Did you tell him about the baby”
“I blurted it out… I wish I hadn’t though. I don’t know if I’m keeping it,” I whispered
“What do you mean?” Jacey asked a look of shock on her face
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not sure I’m ready to be a mom okay. I’m 18, I still have so much I want to achieve you know”
“But Angelo said three months is the cut off for a termination”
“I’m not terminating” I said confidently
“Okay… now I’m confused” Jodie whispered closing the Book
“I’m thinking about adoption… maybe open adoption. I just don’t think I can give this baby everything it needs.”
“Oh… well whatever you decide we’ll be here for you Maddy, won’t we Jodie?”
“Of course, now don’t worry about Elijah, I’m sure it will be okay”
“Yeah, I hope so. So what’s this book where looking at”
“The stages of pregnancy… you’re in the first trimester… just and you’ll be glad to know that most pregnancies leave the Morning sickness stage in the second trimester. Which you’re on the cusp of… so you hopefully be morning sickness free very soon”
“Thank god. Hey since you guys aren’t at you’re lectures would you mind coming to the doctors with me. I think I should confirm everything, maybe I’m not even pregnant”
“Sure, is half an hour okay? Angelo’s gone to get breakfast. If you don’t mind can he come to? It would be good study for him” Jodie asked
“Sure”

I went and got dressed. By the time I was ready it had been half an hour. Angelo had brought McDonald’s for breakfast. He handed me a banana and an apple
“I figured you probably couldn’t stomach much else”
“Unfortunately… you’re right, you’re going to make a brilliant OB Doctor Angelo”
“Thanks, now, lets go”

Angelo took me to his College that had a small GP clinic attached for studying doctors. They got me to do another test, which came back positive; a blood test then sent me through to the radiology department. I let everyone come in and the sonographer lifted my shirt she put a blob of jelly on my stomach and used the wand to spread it. She looked around and I watched the screen. Then I saw it. To tiny to be a baby still but I could make out features, its hand it’s head. I gasped, shocked that it was all real.
“Wow, that’s… the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen” Jodie whispered holding my hand
“That tiny baby is growing inside you…” Jacey said
I looked over at Angelo who looked a little concerned, I tried to be calm, but he actually knew what he was looking at. What if something was wrong Angelo got up and pulled the sonographer aside. They both came back but their faces were unreadable
The sonographer looked around a bit more then finished
“Well Miss Spencer, you’re 12 weeks four days pregnant, everything looks healthy… I do have one concern though”
“Oh… what’s wrong?” I whispered suddenly very scared, Praying nothing was wrong with my baby.. my baby? It was at that moment I knew what would happen when this child was born. She would be mine, and I’d raise the best way I could. I smiled. The sonographer had said the baby was healthy; I had to focus on that
“You seem to have a condition known as Placenta Previa, meaning that the placenta is covering the cervix. You’re obstetrician will explain this condition with you. Angelo here may also be able to shed some light, but don’t worry to much, you’re baby is fine”
we left the Center and got back in the car
“What’s placenta Preavia?” I asked Angelo
“The placenta is covering the cervix, which means in essence that everything is upside down, the placenta should be up here,” Angelo said brushing his hand across the top of my stomach
“What does that mean for the baby?” I said
“Well if you go into natural labor the placenta will be the first to come out, which will fatally harm the baby, and most probably you”
“Oh” I whispered gulping
“Why’s that babe?” Jodie asked driving out of the car park
“The Placenta and the Umbilical cord are the baby’s life line, that’s the way she breaths and eats. Take that away from the baby before they make their entrance into the world and they can’t breath. To give birth naturally when placenta previa is a factor can cause internal bleeding, so the only alternative is a Caesarian section. This allows the baby to exit safely”
“Do I have to be careful?”
“No more so than with a normal pregnancy, look my professor knows some really great OB’s and Midwifes, I’ll get some names this afternoon and bring them back to you’re place tonight. Don’t worry Madison, You’ll be fine okay”
“Thanks Angelo”
We dropped Angelo off in town and Jodie dropped me off at the Hilton. It was 11.30, Elijah probably wasn’t home but I went up to his room anyway and knocked on the door. I was surprised that the door opened straight away. Elijah stood in front of me, looking slightly better than the night before
“Come in” he smiled opening the door for me
The Hotel room was huge, but you could tell six males were staying in it. Pizza boxes strewn everywhere beer cans askew on the floor
“Hmm… like the décor Elijah”
“Oh… yeah sorry I didn’t get the chance to clean up… have a seat”
I sat down and Elijah disappeared he came back holding two juice’s
“Juice?”
“Uh... yeah thanks, maybe later though I’m still feeling a bit seedy.”
“Okay… Look Madison, the reason I asked you to come over today was because… well I was drunk last night and I wanted to explain myself when my head was clear”
“Go ahead”
“Well… I stopped calling because I was having a hard time Maddy, I wanted to up and leave the band and be with you. But I knew you wouldn’t have wanted that. I felt I needed some space, and I know I should have told you this. But I was angry… mostly with myself for not finding a way to make us work. I approached the guys about relocating the band to New York. They agreed that it would benefit the band and our manager agreed to give it a shot. I hadn’t contacted you because I wanted to be settled… Maddy you have to believe I would have called”
“I believe you. But Eli, you could have called me as soon as you got here. I’ve missed you”
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me”
“I do… don’t worry”
“So… the baby?”
“Uh… I had a scan this morning everything is okay. I do have a condition known as placenta praevia though”
“Oh”
“It’s where the placenta covers the cervix. I know it sounds gross. But if I go into natural labor, both the baby and I could die”
“Holy shit… so what happens?”
“well Angelo says I have to have a caesarean section”
“Angelo?” Elijah asked with a hint of confusion in his tone “Is that you’re boyfriend?”
I frowned then said
“Would that be a problem if he was?”
“You know it would”
“Well, he’s Jodies boyfriend, not mine. What do you want out of moving here Elijah?”
“I want to be with you Madison, you’re having my baby, I love you. We could make this work”
“I’m not sure of what I want anymore Elijah…I’m sorry but I just don’t think we can be together”
“Can I ask why?”
“Sure, it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because every time we’ve tried, something’s gone wrong, I just don’t think that we are meant to be together”
Elijah nodded then frowned
“So… were over completely no chance of making a go of things… ever?”
“Not right now”
Elijah nodded and stood up.
“What happened to us Madison? A year ago we were best friends, mucking around having fun. And then we fucked it all up. You’re right we never should have been together”
“Don’t say that. Don’t take back what we did have Eli. Please. And for the record I want our friendship back more than the world. The fact I’m pregnant with you’re child… well we can deal with that. Please can we just be friends again?”
“I don’t know Maddy. We can try but I don’t know if it’ll work”


I left soon after and Elijah and I decided to hang out