i sit alone

I sit alone at the bar. Its U shaped, centered in the middle of the
restaurant. Its a busy night. I sit near the end. I've chosen a
seat near the end. Servers rush back and forth behind me. There is a
monitor where orders are placed that sits next to me. I order my
first beer and salt the napkin to place it on. Throughout the night,
servers come up almost beside me placing orders, trying to ignore me,
but you can feel the tension. Its not bad, just the tension you get
when you have another human being near you trying to ignore you.

I hear the talk around me. I watch the television, basketball just
started. I blankly stare at the TV, at random people. I hear
conversation around me. Various bits of it. I hear things that perk
my interest. Real or fake breast and ATV's. Boston won a game,
Sportsceneter is showing highlights from tonight, I missed the games.
I'm not much of a drinker, so my beer is only half gone and its
getting warm. I hear the tinkle of glasses being filled with ice,
being washed and being tapped against the beer pulls. I sit waiting
for my boneless wings. Made drinks are piled up at the waiter station
of the bar across from me. Some weird concoctions with crushed ice
and some red liquor. Two tall beers standing tall next to them with
their white foam seeming to stand guard.

My boneless wings come and I'm famished, I did eat 4 hours ago. I
sitting eating my sauceless boneless wings with ranch. Its pretty
good. I wonder why they waste the celery. And I wonder why I
continue to drink my warm beer. Its not too bad, just gets bitter
when warm. I want another, but I won't. Its not the same without
friends. I'm basically just putting off the inevitable sleep. But I
can't sleep nights, its my time. I work nights.

The alcohol doesn't affect me like everyone else. The wings still
taste good, just don't satisfy. I need something else. I though I'd
love this lifestyle. That I could live this way forever. Not so
much. I like the night life but I can't be normal.

I'm not a violent person, but, I have to do violent things to stay
alive. Fresh blood is what I need. She eyes me from the other side
of the bar. I get this all the time. Another side affect, like being
a night time creature. Funny how my friends and I used to joke about
this, how we would love to be this way. Its not fun. People get
hurt. I don't kill any, but I do what I must to survive. That means
hurting beautiful people.

I need a pint every three days or so. Animal blood works the same,
theres just something about human blood that gets us. I don't
remember how it got started. I learned the rules on my own. My life
really isn't that hard. I can smoke as much as I want with no side
effects, and I can go out for a bit during the day, even during the
summer. But, luckily Wal-Mart is open 24/7.

She licks the rim of her margarita glass, leaving the salt on her
tongue with which to take a drink with. Using her tongue, she
positions the straw into her mouth and sips. She does all this while
looking at me. The urge rises. I'd call it a sexual urge, if you
must wonder what it feels like. But, its got nothing to do with that.
It has been two days.

I have to leave my home town to do this. I do live close to a big
city so there are numerous places to go before I have to go again.
Most people don't remember me though. Like I said, no one ever dies,
and no one ever changes. Like I said, I don't remember how I got this
way, but I do know there are others, I've talked with them. They are
all sorts. Males, females, all beautiful. Never considered myself
that way, heard it before, just never believed it much.

Me, well, don't look like what you'd think. No jet black hair and
eyes, and my skin is not pasty. Curly brown hair falls a bit past my
chin, and my eyes are green, the one thing I like about myself. I am
a bit stronger than I should be though, but I don't work out. Just
comes with the territory I guess.

After her long sip of margarita, she looks at me and smiles. Her
light red lip stick, plump lower lip and white nearly straight teeth
forming a perfect seductive smile. And yes, my teeth aren't
straight, but they've always been that way. The 'K 9s' just get
bigger right before I use them. I think about it, and they are there.
I've watched it in the mirror, kinda freaky at first, but cool to me
now.

I decide to go on over and start this off. I normally take my time.
I like for the woman to get the most pleasure they can. I could take
her after introducing myself if I wanted, I have before, just not fun,
for either of us. I walk over to her and hold out my hand, I give
her a name, Jim, Bob, it doesn't really matter. They its never my
name. She places her hand perpendicular in my open palm. I give it a
gentle squeeze and two small shakes as she tells me her name is Katie.

She does some kind of insurance processing. I tell her about my night
management job at the plant. She has brunette hair with a few blond
highlights. I ask her why she sits at the bar by herself. An ex
boyfriend she says. Slept with her roommate, in their shared
apartment. All over it actually, even in her bed. With remembering
this, she leans over her glass and takes another long sip. She
finishes, but doesn't look back up. With her hair hanging forward, I
can only she the tiny tip of her nose and the tip of her chin.

I reach up with my thumb and forefinger and, gently mind you, pull her
face towards me. I notice the light freckles now on her face. Them
being highlighted by the redness about her cheeks and forehead. She
would be even more beautiful if she wore a bit less makeup, I thought
to myself. Those freckles really highlight her eyes and features.
She looks at me with a piercing, devilish look. She smiles a crooked
grin, green eyes gleaming with naughty intent, framed beautifully by
her hair and says, lets get out of here.

He arrive at a hotel. Not the most expensive but nice. Some women
offer to pay. I don't refuse. Its a night of unbelievable pleasure
for them. Most of the time I do pay though. She pays tonight, I'm
lucky, I've got bills you know. We get our keycard and make our way
to our third floor room. As we make our way into the room, she takes
my hand and leads me to the king size bed and pushes me down
forcefully.

She begins to unbutton the suit jacket she is still wearing from her
day at work. She throws this on the floor at my feet. Next she
undoes the buttons of her white shirt, throws this in my face. I ca
smell the heavenly scent she wears on her shirt. It gets me going
even more. I pull it from my eyes to see her standing there in her
bra and tight pants. She has on a pair on black short heels.

She turns around and unbuttons her pants. She pulls down the zipper
slowly. Her hair falls down to her bra strap. Her shoulders are
beautifully shaped as is her lower back. She takes good care of
herself. She sees me looking at her in the full length mirror door
that leads to the closet. She turns her head a bit to look at me over
her shoulder. Her green eyes are burning with desire as she pulls
down her pants slowly, reveling a pair of light pink panties that
cover half over her butt, my favorite! She does all this without
bending her knees. Glancing from her face, back to the big mirror, I
see her perky breasts in her bra as she bends over. This is killing
me, she is good.

She slides her pants off one foot at a time. She slowly takes a step
towards me. She is only now in her black heels and pink panties. She
slowly struts towards me, one sculpted thigh in front of the other.
She stops a few steps from me and places one arm across her breasts
and use the other to unhook her bra. After unhooking it, she pulls it
from under her arm holding her breasts and again throws this in my
face. I'm going crazy, she must see it in my eyes, she is glaring
hungrily at me. What would you do to me know? She says to me in a
suggestive way. She takes the final steps toward me, lets loose the
one arm and places both on my shoulders. Her grapefruit size perky
breasts hanging free now and I can smell her now. Not the sent on her
shirt, but her musty sweet lovely smell.

After that final smell, things went hazy. The passion overwhelms me.
Hours pass by. Sheets are thrown around. She's had her share time
and time again. Now, its my turn. I grab her by the hair and gently
pull her head to expose her beautiful neck. I feel growing in my
mouth. I lower my mouth to her neck. I kiss it gentle a few times,
searching for the right spot. She moans delightfully, tiredly. She's
almost asleep and will be shortly.

I found the tender spot, I place my lips around it and bit down
quickly. Her eyes open in shock at the piercing, a shark but quick
yelp, then falls limply in my arms, as me teeth find their make and go
to work. I takes it, the hot metal tasting, life giving fluid. It
flows into my mouth. I want to continue, oh so badly, everything
about her tastes beautiful. But, I must stop, I don't want to drain
her. She will feel a bit drained in the morning, but she will be
fine. This place has a continental breakfast bar with orange juice
and such. Just like giving blood..

I watch as the marks take few minutes to close up and heal. She will
have a bit of a bruise, but she will not remember what happened.
Thankfully that is an awesome by product of our special chemistry. I
straighten myself and place her clothes folded neatly on the low slung
television counter. I take a final look. She's beautiful, but not
the one. So I leave her sleeping heavily, lightly snoring.

I walk to the counter lady. She's in her forties, overweight. She
remembers me, I tell her to give the girl in my room a wakeup call and
to remind her about the breakfast bar. She will be pretty hungry, I
say as I hand her my keycard and give her a wink. I turn and walk out
the double doors of the lobby, into the early morning night.


I see her in my dream. Me finding her again. She is excited to see
me, very excited. She is just as I remember. Everytime I see a
woman, smell a perfume like hers, I get excited. But, its not her.
She lives many hours away, so its hard for me to see her. She stays
busy being a single mother. I would so much love to be with her. Not
sure if its love, just the anticipation of the next time we speak.
She feels the same way, she tells me.

It kills me to do what I do. That's why this life style kills me. I
think I'm in love. I spoke to another the other day, about turning.
We sat at a hazy bar top, maybe ten others around the place, playing
pool, darts, whatever. We sit around a full ash tray, drinking beers,
mine of course is getting warm. He thinks he has it down, how someone
is turned. He explains it to me like this. You have to really care
for the person. A deep caring. Something like love. Just another by
product of who we are. We discuss the possibility and about how much
it makes sense, spend a life time with the person. But, did the
person who turned me love me like that? What happened to them? We
are a pretty hardy people. Too much sun exposure does it and a few
other things. We do live forever. Sounds like we mate for it too.
Seems to be why the girls I bite never turn, I don't care too much
about them. I have respect, much respect. But, I've got one love in
my life, her.

So, here I am again, a couple nights after the pretty brunette. I sit
at another bar. I'm thinking of her, my love I guess. I want to be
with her... Forever I do. I'm staring again, more basketball stats
and scores. A basket of chips and a container of queso sit getting
cold next to my warm beer. I wish this stuff would work on me, I
think, as I watch the bubbles slowly form, then rise to the top of my
beer. Another busy night, happy hour tonight. Bartender making
various drinks, pulling draft beer. He looks at me every now and
then, asks if I need anything. No, I tell him, thinking to myself,
not anything you can give me.

I randomly scan the bar. People come and go. No one staring today.
Might have to do something drastic tonight. A tap on my shoulder, a
smell of perfume. My sense rising at the sweet fruity smell. I turn
to see who it is. A tall red haired girl. My height. Curly hair
pulled into a pony tail. A lock of hair loose, falls from her
forehead, running along her cheek. She's got the most amazing hazel
eyes. Are you ok, sweetheart? She asks. I tell her, yeah, just have
a lot on my mind, work and such. May I sit next to you, she inquires.
Please do, I say.

The next hour we discuss our lives, loves. She is a recently divorced
late twenties nurse, an LVN. She works nights as well. She comments
on my hair and beautiful green eyes. I blush, thank you I say, I'm
not ver good with compliments I tell her. We talk for another fifteen
minutes or so, I decide to turn on the charm and get her out of there.
We leave and get to another random hotel, and luck has it that she
pays. Nice, two in a row.

It proceeds like the last time, like almost everytime. A strip show
that always gets my motor running. This one is beautiful, I'm just
really not feeling it like I used to. Guess I really am in love. The
passion and heat is there as she explodes time and time again.. then
its the final act, my grand show of forgotten violence. Then I make
my quiet exit, reminding the desk person to remind my friend about the
breakfast buffet.

A couple weeks go by. A couple blondes, a brunette and redhead. A
lovely Hispanic lady and a beautiful black woman, she was the only one
that got me a little excited. I'd never been with a black lady
before. But no one comes close to breaking the spell that has been
cast.

I sit on a dark, humid night, in a park. I'm perched on one of those
old spring horses, rocked back slightly. I wear a light vintage blue
jacket, even though cold nor heat bother me. One hand is crammed in a
pocket, the other is on my knee, holding a half smoked cigarette. The
air is still, the rising and exhaled smoke stays around me, kind of
drifts away after a minute or so. There are a littering of butts
around me, I sit looking at the full moon.
I hear small steps coming up to me. It startles me out of my state,
and I stare. Its time again. I know its a female, her perfume
proceeds from her despite there being no wind. I place the cigarette
in my mouth and shove my other hand in my pocket. I look over my
shoulder. My heart nearly stops. As she walks up, I see she is a
shorter curly haired blonde, from the dim lamp light and white moon
light. I sit staring over my shoulder at her, cigarette dangling from
my lip. She gets closer, and finally I see her face. Its not her.

Hey, I say. She says hi. She stops by me and we chat for a bit. Same old things. Same violence. I realize after this one, why the more ancient ones seem so content. They have a mate. They still pursue the opposite sex, but they both know its only for the meal. These are the ones you see. Always with the devilish smile. Happy and content.

I take vacation. We make plans. I go to see her. We have a whole week together. We sit alone at parks, movies, where ever we can. We talk about everything and nothing. It tell her I love her. All the months apart, just talking to her. I've figured it out. She feels the same.

I tell her there is something else. I tell her about me. She sits staring at me. Not sure whether to be sure or whether to not believe it. I tell her I can prove it. The growing in my mouth. She looks, not quite horrified, just surprised. I stop my story about what happens and that I don't know how I got this way. We sit in silence, my cigarette smoke drifting up between us. I'm worried, I turn my head to take a drag of the cigarette, inhaling deep, smoke feeling my lungs. I couldn't look at her while she wasn't talking. I say out loud, I love you baby, very much so. As I say that, the smoke comes out, I blow the rest out of my nose.

I say, I'm sorry that I ever thought of making you a part of this. I'm not looking at her. She moves in closer. I still don't look. Her fingers are running through my shoulder length curls now. She moves the hair from my ear, and whispers, I'm gonna love you forever. It never registered until she sank her extended 'K 9's' into my neck. She slowly feeds in the half moon light. All I can think about is now no more lonely nights. I'm finally loved