Mother's Prayer

Prayer VS Wish



    First, I would like to start by saying a prayer is much like making a wish.  You know that in the fairy tales that the person makes a wonderful wish just to find that when the wish is granted they are consequences to the change.  Prayer is much like that.  Sometimes we want or need something that we act as though we are two years old throwing our tantrums.  We beg God, use his own words to try to persuade him, and just pout.  And like most good parents, God grants us our prayers with the problems that come with the answer.  Sometimes just waiting on God to fulfill the dreams of our heart would make the world of difference.

    Having my children was a prayer that I never gave God ears a break from.  The doctors told me that I was unable to have children, but I knew that God would give them to me.  I did not see the whole picture, my situation, my marriage, and God’s time.

    Well, I was 25 when I had Charity.  She was the most beautiful child to me I ever saw.  She was mine, a gift from God.  I didn’t know how selfish I was being selfish.  My world wasn’t ready for  my prayer to be answered. She was beautiful, but we had no money.

    I had nothing to offer a child except a forever mom and dad.  Well, two brothers and 11 years, the forever was gone.  Her dad found another and “poof” he was gone.  She was 11, and her life was about to change.

    Was it fair that her dad was gone? Was it fair that her mom was raising them together, and had to discipline as well as confront? Nothing was fair, not for her, her brothers, or for me.

    Now she is living with her dad, boys with me, and I cry everyday.  My heart hurts for her.  I did this by not waiting for God.

    He had the right time, right place, and right person for us.  I didn’t wait.  God loved me and gave me the desires of my heart, but just not in his time.  I was that  annoying child who kept tugging on his clothes until he gave me my wish my prayer.

    I am sorry to my children.  I suggest that anyone who wants something wait on God it will be the best, and no one will get hurt.