Creatio Ex Materia

          I have lived my life with the fragile faith that mankind is and always will be the utmost of evil in this gradual decay of sapien life. Savages that reign upon this world and try to destroy all of what it means to be called a man. I have lied awake many nights, stared at my ceiling, and tried to decipher the ideas and theories that rule the minds of most men, women, and children on the face of this planet. I have come to understand these theories, but in the midst I have thought of my life and have wondered if any of it is worth it. The bigger picture is nothing I hoped for and I end up reflecting back to my faith only finding that it has been diminished over the years to an empty jar which was once filled with hope and courage to keep on fighting an everlasting war. An infinite amount of hope that'd allow a person to call on someone or something that they need - a god.

          Is there really such a thing as the divine figure? This being we can all turn to and trust as someone or something of a higher power? This question has boggled my mind forever; back since I was a child when I prayed to the heavens every night. I wasn't one for faith or religion, but I did believe. I believed in this mystical figure as I did Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy, but soon did I find they were nothing but lies and scapegoats for ultimatums to make me brush my teeth and go to bed on time. I hated lies - I wanted the truth. I need the truth. People try to protect their children with lies, but do these lies grow disproportional and into a person's adulthood? They must. They have to. That accounts for a person's ignorance; their lack of a bigger picture. These lies grow with us, these supernatural beings grow as well. Lies that make people turn to religion as a way for providing further evocations for them to live and strive heavily on.

          I see religion as nothing more but a further development on the human extinction. A corporation that manufactures lies and false beliefs as it collects the money and souls of millions of innocent people who are only looking for one thing: dignity. Who wouldn't want to assassinate the Pope? These people go to church to look for God and desperately pray for either God's forgiveness or a helping hand to those who need it but never get it directly. They believe that if they beg for forgiveness of their sins God will wipe them away and allow for people to sleep better at night knowing they are free from what they have done wrong. Pure ignorance is what these people live on, and nothing else can change the way they look at the world but look up to the sky and ask to the Man what they want or what they need. They prey as if they are asking a genie for a million wishes and become depressed when none of them come true.

          It would help if there were even a god. How come people only believe in the one that comes from the book? Not from the ones from Greek and Roman times that supposedly ran the earth and the skies? They believe from a book that was rewritten by a league of scholars from King James' time to make the words sound charming and respectful to God. Who knows if the book is really real. It could be stuffed with so much fluff that the real truth is gone. How can anyone read and know that it is real? Can't the Bible be seen as a big book of bedtime stories? Who knows if Goldilocks or Humpty Dumpty weren't actually real. They made little children go to bed. Can't that be the Bible? If so, then why can't people find their faith in Peter the Pumpkin Eater or the chicken who claimed the sky was falling? The sky is really falling, isn't it?

          I fail to find my belief in a god. I am agnostic when it comes to UFOs and unidentified creatures, but my beliefs in a religious figure are notwithstanding. Supposed miracles happen every day, but how can they be called miracles? Just because someone prayed and it comes true makes it a miracle? Miracles are not even miracles any more; especially with the technological advances in this world that make doomsday seem not far away. But if there is a God, then how can this creature be called a good wonder? If "he" has the power to control everything, then why are we on the brink of a sixth extinction? How can God let all the things happen in this world? How can this god be so cruel? People say it's to test their faith and to keep moving, but that answer in itself is a further development on a person's ignorance. Suffering from an extreme being is a test? I suppose ants say the same thing when a six year old is crushing them with the sole of his shoe. "If we keep moving on then maybe we won't be crushed!" Five seconds later the colony is dead.

          Maybe ignorance is what powers a person's reason and dignity. Believing in a high power lets them escape their own faults and either blame it on the higher power or try to bury their faults by looking to a higher power. Both I don't do myself. I just don't believe. Maybe it was my praying to God every time I was in the seat next to my father after karate and hoping he wouldn't yell and ridicule me by praying to this God to only be turned away. My biases may be affected, but I still stand on my own belief. The largest taboo of mankind, the largest downfall of mankind.

          I'm sorry to say I will be hated by most of the world with my point of view. I'm sorry to be speaking my mind in this country of freedom. I will be yelled at by people who are encaved by religion, but they have been blinded. Blinded by their ignorance that makes this life even more intolerable than it already is and will probably be for a very long time. I stand ever so firmly on my high ground and I know I will be knocked off it repeatedly when people read this and that light-bulb in their minds blink on processing the horrid fact that I don't believe in God.