The Issues of a Teenage Movie Star - 1

I'm 16.
I'm a brunette.
I've got amber eyes.
I'm slim/borderline skinny.
Oh...and I'm a movie star with 2 Academy Awards...

Stardom really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean, you got people who don't even like you inviting you to parties you don't want to go but have to for the sake of publicity.

Then you got a bunch of idiot papparazzi who decide, "Hey, I'll grab a camera and invade someone's privacy so they can get mad, assault me, then be labeled as a papparazzi-attacker! Yipppee!"

Then those lunatic magazines decide to make up rumors that you're feuding with another actress just to SPICE UP YOUR LIFE.

Then you have this dude. Really HOT/GORGEOUS/BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME/ETC dude that is the current teenage heartthrob and America's sweetheart (but God knows how many sweethearts America has anyway...).

The dude asks you out.
You already liked him to begin with.
But turns out, he just went out with you BECAUSE of the 2 Academy Awards sitting in your parent's living room.

Then you find out that your eldest sister decided to post pictures of you when you were in preschool, playing with mud...in the nude...on the INTERNET.

Then you find out that the one actress YOU DON'T WANNA WORK WITH is WORKING WITH YOU and ironically playing YOUR BEST FRIEND in the movie that you really...reallyREALLYreally wanted to do.

Oh, what have I forgotten?

Oh, yes.

My parents are getting a divorce.

The eldest sister mentioned above has been impregnated by a guy she's been dating for a week, so I have to help my mother and my aunt organize a last-minute wedding so that my idiot sister won't be in shame.

And the last thing in the world that I want is to be the next Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears or Vanessa Hugdens.

Turns out...I'm on my way.
Crap.