Assumptions

I once had listed this item and it had some reviews. I unfortunately had deleted them. To those who have previously reviewed and rated, I have added more to my thoughts. Thank you for giving me your ratings. Sorry I deleted them. It was by accident.

MY DISCLAIMER

I used to work with men and men only. I am not a fan of most men. But, the job I do pays better than most. I work at a auto parts store. The looks I get when I ask what I can help them with. I have been asked if they could talk to a guy instead. So, I let them. 10 minutes later I hear "Cindi, can you help me?" Stupid boys. Of course, that is not the only reason I don't like most men. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to let it all out. So, to deal with my hatred, I am writing about what bothers me most. If you are on the same wagon, then you should enjoy. If you don't agree, then you will probably not like this item. This is my only item where I rant. If you are human, then you will rant. Here is mine. Me on my 'soap box'. Enjoy.




This story is for any woman who has ever met a man who assumed he could have his way. As far as I am concerned, this is for any woman breathing.

It is very hard to write about all the assumptions men make. I really want to narrow it down. So I thought about the most common. First, is sex. Second, is what we were put on this earth to do. Third, is assuming that we are helpless creatures. If I think of any more, I will write another piece.

My version of a man that assumes he can have his way.

  Bob is the kind of person who thinks he is God’s gift to women. You know the type. He walks up to you in broad daylight, while you are busy doing something. It could be anything. Walking your dog, eating lunch, shopping, getting gas, who cares. Well guess what, he doesn‘t care either. Bob’s attire consists of baggy clothes, tilted hat and a very gaudy, fake, gold chain. He has some peach fuzz on his face. Don't tell him that, he believes it is full-grown goatee. He probably can't walk very well because his pants are hanging just above his kneecap. If you are not careful, you will get a glimpse of the spider-man boxers his mommy gave him for Christmas. Also, try not to fall victim to his pimped out 96' Ford Taurus, with the large speakers in the back. He will have them so loud, that you might be surprised that his ears are not bleeding. Beware also of his custom spray paint job. Notice I did say spray paint. Therefore, this is Bob. I wanted to give you a clear picture of Bob. Let you know what you are up against.

  So, there you are doing whatever and here he comes. Remember, he cannot walk. Be aware of your surroundings and quickly move anything he cold trip on out of the way. You do not want him landing on you.
So, say you are eating. Of course, there are always two chairs at a table. Bob assumes that since you are alone, that chair is for him. So, he sits and as you almost choke on your sandwich, he says "What’s up baby." as he nods his head upward. He thinks he's a gangster. Depending on who you are and your attitude towards men you either attempt one of the following.
A- Push the chair out from under him and ask him what the fuck he thinks he is doing.
B- Tell Bob politely that if he does not remove himself from the chair, that your 44 magnum will.
C- Listen to him while he talks, this could be funny.
For conversation purpose, lets choose C.

“I said what’s up baby. You need a glass of water or something. I think you're choking a little.”
After a few coughs and drying of your watery eyes, you say, “No thanks, I'm all right.”
“You sure, I could get you some water, it's free.”
Bob is the type of guy who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. He will eventually, but only after you yell at him. He has selective hearing.
“No thanks, I'll be all right.”
You say that while staring at him with very cold eyes, and a hateful smirk. He will get the hint. Do not get confused though, he still assumes you want him, just not the water. We have to take things one at a time for Bob because he has a simple mind. So, you say to him, “What do you want?.”
“Well, I saw you sitting here and I thought 'what is such a pretty thing doing eating all alone'?” “That’s not right." "Someone like you should have a man beside her.”

“Really.”
“Why do you assume that I don’t have a man? Or that I even need a man. Maybe I am on a lunch break. Maybe my man is meeting up with me.”
“If I were your man, I would never leave your side. You're way to fine.”
Right now, you should assume that Bob has some trust issues and maybe some stalker tendencies. Don't ever think that this assumption is wrong.
“Plus babe, I would never let you work. You're too fine for that too.”
Here is where a red flag should always come up. Bob doesn’t look like a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or anybody in the hundred thousand a year and above range. Remember when he asked you if you wanted free water. Bob is broke.  Bob is a ten grand a year or less guy. If he is pulling a hundred a year, he probably sells drugs, or stolen items. You don’t want that type of guy anyway. Not that you are looking, but please stray away from the prison hopefuls of tomorrow.

"What if I want a job? Are you going to keep me inside forever?"
"No way babe. You don’t have to stay inside forever. I got to take you out and show you off. You’re super fine. Also, fine girls don’t have jobs. You know what I mean?”
Here Bob assumes that only women that don’t appeal to him can work. He also assumes that you are some kind of trophy. Let us also not forget that Bob keeps calling you babe. He doesn’t even have the decency to ask you your name. He apparently thinks it is okay that you don’t mind being called whatever Bob deems necessary.
Knowing Bob is a worthless bum, with some severe trust and abandonment issues, you decide to end the conversation. Which we should assume has gone on for too long. So, speaking as slowly and clearly as possible, you say,
“Listen, I’m sure you mean well by keeping me locked up. Fortunately, I like to roam free. You know what I mean?”
Bob is now confused. Don’t worry though he is used to being told no.
“I’m going to have to pass. See you later.”
As you say this, look at Bob firmly and do not move. It is like starring down an animal for food. He will eventually know how serious you are and walk away. Do not assume Bob will leave quietly. His self esteem is very fragile. He will need to redeem it by calling you something derogatory. Watch out for words like bitch, whore, and slut. You get the picture. Do not let this get to you. Remember, Bob has to drive his beat up 96’ Ford, with his awesome spray paint job, back home to his mommy’s house. She probably has dinner ready.









Thanks for reading my angry page on men. I am married, and my husband is a good guy. I have delt with men in many lines of work and almost all of them form a very biased opinion from the minute they make eye contact. It makes me sick. If I'm not making their dinner and kissing their feet, they get confused and start looking for the next woman to talk too. I have to tell this story- It happened today actually (02-14-08) I was standing near the parts counter at Auto Zone and an older man walks in. My co-worker (a guy) is standing at a parts counter in front of me, helping a customer. I say hi and ask if I could help him. He looks at me and walks over to my co-worker, interrupts
him in their conversation and starts to ask questions. I interrupt and say I can help you. I look at him firmly and he soon strayed away from his instincts and follows my voice into a realm where women think for themselves. I'm sure it was a scary experience for him.
He knew I was talking to him when he walked in the door. He looked at me, looked at my co-worker, looked at me again, and proceeded to interrupt another customer. That customer was mad. He looked at the man and said "Dude she asked if she could help you. We're kinda busy." I just smiled and thought 'It's okay come into the light'. Eventually he wanted me to change his battery in his 76' corvette with leather seats. If your confused- the battery sits behind the drivers seat. If that old battery had any type of acid coming out of it and I just happened to get it on the leather, I would not want to be liable. I told him that and he said- "Well I didn't think about that. I would be pretty pissed about that." Personally if I had a car that was old and is considered a classic, I wouldn't want just anybody working on it. The point is, the same answer would have came out of a man's mouth. I guess it just sounds better when a person with the same genitalia says it. I guess it just makes more sense. I'll remember that when you ask me to change your wiper blades and change your battery.