The woman

My eyed were fixed to the ground
I dreaded it so much
And then I did it as usual
I looked at her
She was staring at me
Just the way she always did
Stone blank eyes
Stone blank expression
I stared back
And I trembled
And then I sat in the car and left
Her face haunted me for a while
And then it was wiped off my thoughts

She sits there near the main gate
Of the compound of our palatial apartments
Homes
Houses
Belonging to people
Belonging to robots
Robots who slog day in and out in swanky offices like mine
And then come back to swanky apartments
Eat and sleep
To go back to swanky offices
And come back to swanky apartments

She sits there
Everyday
Looking at us
With her hazel eyes
There is an unmistakable beauty in them
I sensed it the first day I saw her
Her 2-year-old boy hunts for things nearby
While she sits there
Looking at us
Looking at me
Stone blank eyes
Stone blank expression
And I tremble

I want to tell the guard to send her away
To a place from where she never returns
But I can’t
But I don’t
As I leave my palace everyday
Alone and empty
I dread her
I fix my eyes to the ground
I will not look at her today
I tell myself
And then I look at her
As she sits there
Looking at me
Stone blank expression
And I tremble

I don’t know if she wants something out of me
She never asks
Why?
I pray and hope she would ask for something
But she never does
I park my car close to her
She never notices
I flash my diamonds
She doesn’t care
I look at my palace
She stares at me
Stone blank eyes

She haunts me for minutes
Then she is erased
As I enter another palace
Another cage

I am a man
Garbed as a woman
I have been first
Forever I have known
First in grades
First in teams
First in promotions
First in everything
First to make a place in a man’s world for myself

So, there was no place for another soul
No place for another life
From where I lived
From where I saw
It was I
Against them all
I spoke
As they trembled
I clinched my fists
And fought
It was I
Against them all

Mom said husband
I said no
Dad said family
I said never
There was no place for another soul, another life
From where I lived
From where I saw
I outlived my youth
In silent introspection
And quiet contemplation
It was I
Against them all
I clinched my fists
And fought

And then she came
Weak
Fragile
Brown
With a child who ran around hunting for things
While she sat there
And looked
With her hazel eyes
Looked at me
Stone blank eyes
Stone blank expression
While I trembled

Monday morning
While others grumble and groan
I wake with a twinkle in my eye
I dance in my palace
Empty palace
I dance alone
I dance with joy
I want to reach the other palace
And fight

My eyes are fixed to the ground today
I dread it
I dread her.
And then I do it,
I look at her
My feet lose momentum
I halt and turn
She is not there
The corner is empty
The child is missing
The car is ready
I start walking
Towards the corner
The guard stands up
She was anaemic
And malnourished
apart from suffering from Leukaemia
Died last night
Sitting there
With her child in her lap
Open eyes
Hazel eyes
The child was taken by some woman from a nearby home, a house
I stare at him

And then I walk
I sit in the car and leave
She haunts me for a while
"I'll look for the child."
I tell myself
And then she is erased
As I enter the second cage