Cold

Cold… I like cold.
My heart is cold, my soul is cold,
Yes, I like the cold,
I would say I love the cold
But that isn’t true, because love is warm, and I am cold
And yet when I see people in love,
I feel pain
Though it isn’t pain that everyone feels
It’s the pain of knowing that I cannot feel it

My soul isn’t cold
My heart isn’t cold
They’re dead.
I feel no love, happiness, hate, sorrow, pain, regret, joy, passion
The only emotion I have is blank
Like an empty sheet of paper.

But I ache to feel emotion
And when I see you together
I want you
But I cannot have you
Because one who is dead can only cause pain
And you don’t deserve pain

The only emotion I have felt in years is the deepest of depressions
That suicidal ‘The world is against me’ feeling
The one that makes me take out a knife and run it along my flesh
Just to imagine the release of the cut.
But then I see your eyes,
I don’t want to cause you pain,
Because you deserve happiness
You both deserve it


People don’t know me,
People can never know me
I am, that is all they can know
I am the ultimate Enigma, the unbreakable code
The one that you can know for a thousand years and never know
The one who loves without emotion

I know I can LOVE, but I cannot feel it.
I feel pain when I see you, physical pain.
The pain that lets you know your heart is breaking,
And yet is doesn’t break
I can never love, yet I love you.