Pay for it!

I started to cut my own hair recently. I realized that I do not need someone else to do it for me. My haircut might look a little weird, but it’s what I’ve done and that’s all that matters to me. The fact that it makes me feel I can do whatever I want with my hair is one the strongest feelings I’ve ever felt about myself. It makes me feel in complete control of my behavior and the way I look. I was never a big fan of fashion and expensive brands. A normal comfortable pair of jeans would last me months without being washed at all and, for some reason, I don feel bad about it. When my dad was coming over to visit me, he kept asking me if I needed new jeans or t-shirts. I said no, I have everything I need. Of course in the end we ended up buying two new pairs of jeans and he brought me six t-shirts and they actually did save my life. I found out that I have been wearing the same thing for the past 8 months since I came to Sydney. My dad did have the right to be disgusted, and I give him credit for that.

I feel very good about my decision on becoming a writer. During the day while I’m on the train and listening to my iPod, I keep thinking about stuff I want to write about. I think about different little short stories that could express my feelings towards family, friends and life itself. It makes me wonder if any of those would actually make sense to anyone and that’s when I start to eliminate lots of those stories. Now I know what kind of story would actually attract readers. Stories that are true, but not very personal! I do not know how to balance my stories between those two factors, but it should be allright. If there are thousands of people doing what I want to do for the rest of my life, then it should be possible.

I was asked for my train ticket last wednesday for the first time. I’ve always wanted to be asked for my ticket. It’s one of those weird needs that I think make me feel strong and fit! The fact that I can prove to someone that I’m paying for what I use is wonderful. I don’t know why some people think it’s always better to avoid paying for what they’re supposed to be paying for. I wonder what happens if someone else did the same thing for their services to those people and ran away without paying anything. I really wonder what they’re going to feel like. Probably shit!

It’s 12:28 AM. I will try to go to the city by bus tomorrow. I like bus rides better than trains; I think they’re more colorful and cheesy, more adventures! That’s what I need in my life, adventure!