Family Reunions: my Mini-Ethnography

      Throughout my 21 years of my life as a Black-Native American from New York City, I have participated in almost every event based on African American cultures. Events such as Sunday Dinners, Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas parties, birthday celebrations, and of course, family reunions have each played their part of their own in my life and in my family’s life till this very day. I am familiar with all of them because I have celebrated those holidays with my relatives in other houses/apartments besides my apartment, located in the North Bronx.

      It’s been 2 years since I’ve visited my grandmother at the Taylor-Goode Family Reunion back in 2005. She’s a Taylor and she’s the matriarch of the family tree, religious, and a kindhearted person to look up to. She lives in Farmville – a town located in southern Virginia and right at the tip of the Bible belt. Also, Farmville is the town where the family reunion is held every year. The only time it’s held in a different location is when my grandmother is on a vacation in New York City, Atlanta, Miami, North Carolina, and/or Las Vegas.

      A family reunion is when family, friends, and neighbors come together to celebrate (and party, or course) with music, activities, history lesions, socializing one another, and sharing religious or spiritual beliefs with one another. The matriarchs are mainly the heads of the family, either grandmothers or great-grandmothers. They are one of the most important people along with the elders of each family. In African American communities, Christianity plays its role. In most of the family reunions, the elders give brief but very important history of our families dated from slavery in the Americas to the present events of Black communities. My families have large sets of European last names due to slavery in the South – Taylor, Goode, Hayes, Trent, Terry.

      The Elders of the Families can get offended by certain things from other people, including our own relatives. Manners and other forms of respect are very crucial to the family reunions and outside this even overall. When meeting them, you have to address them as “Mr.” or “Mrs.” When having a conversation with them, in-person or from a distance (on phone), you have to say either Yes Ma’am (or “Sir”) and/or No Sir (or “Ma’am”). When it comes to family deaths, or any family related emergencies, relatives are notified in high numbers right away – from phones to post mail to email.

      Traveling to Farmville, Virginia sounds easier when said, but it becomes strenuous when you actually partake in with your family as a whole. I remember as a child that my Mom, my Aunts, Uncles (her husband), and a bunch or my cousins rented or bought cars and SUVs for the trip to Virginia. It was the most ridiculous ride I’ve ever encountered. Having 10 people in a car is not cool at all. The trip would take us a day and a few extra hours to arrive in front of my grandmother’s house. Nowadays, traveling buses are one of the best ways to go when the trip is arranged by my Aunt Gwen (extended family).

      On July of 2005, the trip has begun. The Taylor and Goode family were on the bus from West 148th Street in Harlem and it left at exactly 7AM in the morning. It took us around 10 hours straight along with making a couple of stops in Delaware and Maryland. The entire crowd has their own hobbies in their seats such as reading, watching movies, sleeping, and having very long conversations with their relatives. The funniest thing is that every adult on this bus have bought in their food and drinks that’s enough to feed a few. I was sharing some of my food with one of my Uncles while we’re resting comfortably in our own seats at the back of the bus.

      It’s around 4pm in the afternoon…and we made it to Farmville, Virginia safely. Half the relatives stayed in a nearby hotel while the rest stayed with my grandmother. The reunion lasted for about 4 ½ days at least. On the first day, the reunion started in the evening. The pack brings in so much food to feed more than just the actually number of people who are there. I’ve met tons of my relatives that I have never met since I was in infant/toddler or since 1998. On the second day, it was held at a very large park where I used to go to every time there’s a family reunion. This time, we were wearing the Family Reunion shirts. It’s purple with yellow stick figures and yellow circles.

      The Third day was very interesting, but new to me. There’s a community center located across the street from West Virginia University. Next to it was a very small building, formerly a school where my grandmother attended during the segregation era. The reunion lasted most of our evening. We had huge dinners, a made-up fashion show, and candle-light vigils for the relatives who have passed away. We danced with other people who are friends with my grandmother. On the fourth day, we went to her Baptist church titled Racestreet Baptist Church. After service, we visited a cemetery to have prayer for our relatives who have passed away before my time.

      On the last day, the families and I packed up and headed for home back into New York City after having a short prayer as a group. I told my mom about it and she was very happy to hear that I enjoyed it very much. I was 18 years old at the time, exactly one year before moving to Potsdam, NY. Since I don’t celebrate much in family reunions regularly, I’ve realized that when people get together, they get together. They are together because they are happy. They are together because they want to want to be together. Family reunions are not about partying, but reuniting with the young and old of relatives, giving blessings that they have made it this far just to see one another.