somethingi wish i had

well there is so many times when i look around and just look and see these couples that are so happy and love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together... being semi-single in other word dating just dont feel the same any more... this person im with is like, he get anoying more & more each time we were together. he makes me get to that point were i wanna cry and scream, and god knows what else... i can't seem to make him grow up and become a man instead of a fucken 9 year old... It makes me so mad.... i long for that happiness i see every one else has hoping one of these days i will too.... I'm sure im not the only person that feels the same way, but not every one else a mother a second but first time around this is my second time going through pregnacy and feeling alone like no ones there.i hate that feeling and wish that it will all go away soon....

You know that being a mother everything seems harder a more tiring and well it makes you wanna give up on life period... but you know what i moved on... My first child i gave birth to 7 months ago today i was all alone in that room and no one by my side telling me everything is going to be all right, and i couldn't stand being alone going through something like this... this is a special moment and had no one to share it with... i cried... and then a week from then i was waiting for them to release us and they took my son from me SS took him and now i am fighting to get him back...
being miles and miles apart kills me everyday and night... hoping he will come home some day...