Understand First-Hand

If you could only understand.
Just how I feel first-hand.
Look at me now where it is I stand.
In the middle of a strange, dangerous, and cruel land.
Everyday I sit here and wonder why.
Trying to figure out of all people why you had to be the one to fly.

If only you could understand.
Just how I feel first-hand.
God needs angels and chooses those who die.
Yet out of so many He still chose you.
I fall so far behind each day not knowing what to do.
It feels like no one else is as safe to turn to.
Well at least not as safe as you.

If only you could understand.
Just how I feel first-hand.
You’d see how much inside I truly bleed.
Not knowing what made you perform that deed.
It feels like I was deceived.
Did I get what I deserved?
Is this the fate for me God reserved?

If only you could understand.
Just how I feel first hand.
I feel so sad but yet so angry.
I just can’t push it all aside.
Everyday, everything I do or say the anger shows.
It all feels so low.

Maybe someday you’ll really understand.
The fears, the anger, and pain that I stand.
Yes, maybe you’ll understand it all first-hand.