A little slice of heaven

She stood on Gods doorstep, ready to enter his domain, when he came to her aid. “Why are you troubled?” he asked, considering the fact that she was about to kill herself. She couldn’t look in to the icy mist, which apparently were his eyes, without feeling a bit disturbed. Not the sort of disturbed that she’d always felt, but somehow disturbed in a new way. God was supposed to know everything. God answered questions, he didn’t ask them. She barely dared to speak, but when she did, her voice sounded like an angel’s. “I want to commit suicide, but I don’t want to go to Hell. Is there something you can do to help me?” she asked. His expression seemed pleased in a mysterious kind of way, but she wouldn’t know the explanation. “If you can live your life for one more day and help three people to achieve any kind of happiness, I’ll let you into my realm” he said at last. The moment she nodded – almost torn apart by despair – he disappeared, and left her alone in an icy mist, as if he wanted to say that he was watching her.

The sunrise was as gray as usual – with small clouds hanging around, as in a chaotic painting – and she didn’t know what to do. “Make three people happy” she whispered to her cat, which was asleep on her chest. She got out of bed, and left the house before breakfast. Her parents had died in a fire ages ago, and she’d always been alone. A background like that could make anyone feel as if they were the only person in the world; soon to be eaten by wild animals and dangerous reptiles. In the end, all we could ever hope for was to get to Heaven.

She didn’t quite know what to do. The city was still asleep; only fitness freaks and homeless people were awake. Plus a girl that wanted to make everyone happy so she could be happy. “I need to find someone that could’ve use of some help” she said, looking at the clouds. As if God wanted to help, a homeless man came walking towards her with a dog in his hands. It was just a puppy – apparently starving and freezing to death – and she couldn’t help but feeling sorry for it.

“Sir!” she said, as he walked by. The homeless man was about fifty years old, with a long, gray beard hanging from his cheeks. For some reason, one of his eyes seemed to focus on something else that the other, as if he was blind. “It’s been ages since someone called me Sir” he whispered, with his thoughts lost in old memories. “Did it make you happy?” she asked hopefully. “It did help a bit, but I don’t think I’ll ever achieve happiness. Not after Miffy’s dead” he replied and nodded towards the puppy he held in his hands. “Why is he dieing?” she asked, trying to figure out if the dog was alive or dead already. For obvious reasons, she wouldn’t be the one to tell this half blind man that his dog was dead. “I don’t know” the man answered, “I guess dogs have to eat”. She didn’t know if he meant to be scornful towards me, or if he tried to do the best in his situation. “I can give your dog some food” she said, “If I may pat him”. She added the last part because she’d figured out that one couldn’t be nice these days, without people thinking that one wanted something in return. “That would be great!” the man shouted, as if he thought she was deaf.

As they stood there, waiting for the shops to open, she asked him whether it was awful to live on the street or kind of ok. He replied that it was terrible, but still pretty nice. He said that he’d made some progress lately; stopped taking drugs and stopped drinking. The only thing he was high on now was life. She simply couldn’t understand it, and changed the subject of the conversation. Sometimes, one could get both the right and wrong answer at the same time.

When the shops opened, she went in and bought a box of dog food, as if it was the most natural thing to do in the morning. When she came back out, the dog stood on its legs, looking at another dog – a fluffy and fat one, owned by an old lady in an expensive coat – probably thinking that it wouldn’t have a fair chance to get laid with something like that. She gave the box to the homeless guy and received a hug as payment. He smelled like sweat and dirt, but she couldn’t catch the smell of alcohol so she assumed that he was telling the truth. “Pat it as much as you’d like!” the man said, and opened the box. He emptied it on the sidewalk, before he watched his dog eat everything up in a hurry. “No thanks” she said, “I have to go”.

Several hours later, she met a kid in front of a videogame shop. He pressed his nose towards the window with a dreaming expression. “Are you ok?” she asked, looking through the window. He said that he was ok, at first, but then he shook his head. For some reason, he didn’t say anything else. She looked at him for a while, and then she asked him what’s wrong. He replied that he wanted to have the latest videogames which his friends were playing, but he didn’t have any money. She wasn’t really going to help him – because a videogame shouldn’t be the only way to get friends – but she remembered that God told her that any sort of happiness would do.

Ten minutes later, the boy was holding the three newest games on the market; she wouldn’t need money when she was dead anyway. He said that he was happy, before he ran home to put them into good use. She scratched her head, wondering what the world had come to, and then she figured out that she only needed to help one more to be happy herself. The strange thing was that she’d made to persons happy, by spending money.

She went swimming in her own thoughts when she heard a scream. As she woke up from her thoughts, all that she could see was a bus coming towards her in top speed. Before she could figure out what was going on, she got pushed out of its way. The bus’ breaks screamed before it stopped, and the driver ran out of the bus just to see her lying on the ground under a big man. “Are you OK?” he asked, and pushed the big man away. “Yes” she answered, “I’m OK”. Shocked as she was, she turned around to face her enemy. The big man got up on his feet to receive some sort of reward, but she slapped him. “Why did you do that?!” she shouted, and ran.

An hour later, she sat in a gloomy alley, thinking about life, as a side effect. If that man hadn’t saved her – or doomed her, as it turned out – she’d had a chance to die and go to heaven instead of committing suicide. For some reason, it all became clearer the more she thought about it. God never asks questions, but he asked what her problem was. When not even God knows it, there can’t possibly be anything wrong. She got up and walked out of the alley, just to get a glimpse of the monstrous sunset; for the first time in color.

The night came with an icy mist, and as she pierced it, she found herself standing in front of a huge gate of clouds and stars. For some reason, she didn’t feel cold anymore. Suddenly, the gate opened, and an angel walked out. It was holding a piece of parchment and one of its own feathers, dipped in ink. “Angela?” it asked kindly. Her eyes were big as she looked around without being able to figure out what was happening. “But… I didn’t make three people happy!” she complained, as if the whole thing was unfair. “I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” the angel asked with a smile on its face. “God promised me that I would go to heaven if I could make three people happy, but I didn’t. And I’m not even dead!” she explained. “But, you are dead, Angela. That’s why you are here. You died in your bed this morning – or, you didn’t wake up, if that’s what you want to call it” it tried to tell her. She grabbed her hair, as if she needed something to hold on to. Suddenly, a mist started to float through the gate, and the angel disappeared. “My angels” God said, “Does not know everything. And the same goes for you”. She kneeled in front of the mighty Lord, and bowed her head. “But, my Lord, I’m not dead” she claimed. “Yes, you are; even angels know when someone is dead. Your body is lying in your bed right now, thousands of miles under us” he replied. She started crying as wings grew out of her back. “I am God, and God does not forget” he said quietly, “So tell me… were you happy?”. God doesn’t ask questions. God knows everything. “Yes!” she cried, “Yes, I was!”. Somehow, she knew that he smiled. “Then, welcome to my realm” he said, and everything turned white.

Her chest was heavier than she could remember, and the pain forced her to open her eyes. She could see her cat – sleeping on top of her as if nothing had happened. It was early, but she got out of bed to see if the sunrise really was colorful.

“We’re all angels” she whispered, as if she answered a question.