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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Satire · #1374476
Here is a Douglas Adams inspired satire.
Camp Evergreen


         Camp Evergreen was situated in the middle of a large national park.  It was full of tall conifers and many other types of wildlife.  The camp itself taught teenagers how to better protect the environment.  And what a place for it!  If you were to climb to the top of one of the taller trees you would see thousands of similar trees stretching out to the horizon. 
         Eric couldn’t imagine why he’d been sent to this camp.  It was separating him from his three great loves in life: non-nerd girls, TV, and Chinese take-out.  It had simultaneously brought him closer to the three things he hated most: Nerds, a lack of air conditioning, and rabbits.
         Eric’s hatred of rabbits stems from an incident when he was a child in which he fell asleep watching a certain British comedy and went to school the next day to find that the new class pet was a white rabbit with bright eyes the color of blood (or fire, whichever paints the most frightening picture for you.)  His teacher thought he should be put in charge of the rabbit for the day. 
         Eric carefully tried to pet the rabbit, but the rabbit, being frightened itself, bit Eric and clung on tightly as Eric swung his arm around crying in pain.  Eric from that point on hated Rabbits.
         As Eric was remembering the incident he was walking through the woods on a nature hike.  At that moment he felt something squish beneath his feet. 

         “Hey, rabbit droppings.” Commented one of the campers in a tone most use after spotting a five-dollar-bill on the sidewalk.

         Under usual circumstances, Eric might have shoved the kid into a tree, or at least hung the camper’s shorts from the nearest cedar.  At that moment however, he had spotted the culprit.  The rabbit was a couple yards off the trail paralyzed with fear with a leaf in it’s mouth. 

         “I’ll Kill You!!!”  Eric screamed as he dashed into the woods after it. 
         The rabbit darted under logs and branches as Eric jumped over them.  Finally the rabbit dove down a hole on the edge of a clearing.  It was a perfect circle about 25 yards in diameter, and in the center was a large apple tree.  Eric walked over to it and picked one of the apples. 

         “Wait! Wait! Stop!!!” Cried a little boy as he ran out of the woods. 

         Eric burst out laughing. 

         “Oh yeah, and what’re you gonna do about it shrimp?”

         He took a bite of the apple and the world fell away beneath him.  He was now in a vast white space, there didn’t seem to be anything but the purely white, steam covered ground for miles around.  Then he saw a rabbit.  It was a lot like the blood-eyed rabbit from elementary school.  Then the child appeared.

         “I told you not to eat the apple!!!” He shouted.
         
         “Who exactly are you?” Eric asked.
         
         “Me? I’m God.” The kid said proudly. 
Eric burst out laughing again.

         “God!?! You’re God?!? You can’t be God!”

         “OH, OH YEAH?!? AND WHY NOT!?!” The child demanded.
         
         “Your just a little kid, there is nothing intimidating about you.”  Eric replied.
         
         The child started crying.  “Shut up!” He cried.
         
         “Oh, is the little baby lord sad?” Eric asked in a mocking voice. 

         “I’ll show you!!!” the child cried. 

         He pulled out a large piece of play-doh.  The child started shaping it and molding it until he had the shape of a dragon and he set it on the floor.  The play-doh dragon transformed into a living, breathing, massive, dragon. 

         “Ok so you’re God.”  Eric admitted.  The dragon returned to its original form.  “So did you make the world out of play-doh?”  Eric asked. 

         “I made the entire space-time continuum out of play-doh,”  God declared proudly. 

         “Interesting,” Eric commented.  “So what’s up with the rabbit?” 

         “It’s Creation.”  The child replied

         “Well I can see that it is part of creation but why is it here.”  Eric asked.
         
         God groaned.  “Its not part of creation it’s all of it.”

         Eric was perplexed.  “How can a rabbit represent everything?”
         
         God sighed.  “Well if you really don’t understand, than there is no point in trying to explain it to someone so stupid.”
         
         The rabbit hoped over to him and then opened it’s mouth much wider than it should have been able to, and swallowed him whole.  The next minute Eric was back at his campsite flat on his back surrounded by all the campers.
         “What’s up?”  Eric asked as if nothing unusual was happening. 

         “You’ve been unconscious for three hours.”  One of the nerds stated.

         Must’ve been a dream.  Eric thought.  Then he saw the blood-eyed rabbit at the edge of the campsite.  It sort of winked at him, and hopped into the forest. 
© Copyright 2008 The Supreme Dictator (liamk at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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