Besfriends Better off as Lovers(ch4)

Chapter 4
         

With each passing day, I wondered how I was making it through the previous night. Every time I passed a mirror, it was a bleak reminded of how little I had to offer Aaron in the first place; of why he chose Tracy over me. I was a complete mess, I was nothing anymore and I no longer could find a reason to be motivated. I was expecting the pain to ease, even if it was the slightest let up, just a little as time past. But, no luck there. With ever new morning, there was a new pain. The same hole, the empty place in my chest, was still there. My heart was still shattered into pieces and there was still no one there to help me put it back together.
School is just around the corner and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him in my classes or passing him in the lunch line or walking past him while he was with his friends by his locker. We haven’t uttered so much as two words to each other for two weeks and those few words spoken were not voluntary.
On a lighter note, Aaron and Tracy broke up the night before last. I told Liz it wouldn’t last. From what I heard, the whole break up was rather over-dramatic. He walked in on her making out with some junior in the movie theater. They made a huge scene right in front of the arcade. She was seen running out of the theater crying, holding the hand of the other boy.
Now for the damper on the good news: even though they were no longer together, that didn’t change the whole me and him thing. He was still doing anything and everything in his power to avoid me, and I the same. No phone calls, no glances at church, nothing. We had become complete strangers and it was eating me up inside.
One afternoon I was sitting in my room finishing off a carton of Rocky Road ice cream and re-reading my favorite book, Pride and Prejudice, when I heard the doorbell ring. I didn’t budge from my warm bed, someone downstairs would get it. A few seconds later, my friends were cramming into my room and running everywhere.
Sarah Trooper, my friend who does yoga, goes to the gym, and counts carbs every once and a while, stopped suddenly in front of a pile of ice cream cartons lying next to my bed. She looked at me with shock and disbelief in her eyes.
“Kae, this is unhealthy!” she picked one of the cartons up and studied  its label. “This says there are 300 carbs in one of these and I count ten cartons! But don’t you worry about gaining weight, I’ll take you to the gym soon.” she told me, happily.
I tuned her voice out, now watching my friends tear apart my room. There was clothes flying all over the place. Dresser drawers were being yanked open and flung close. My closet door swung open and the clothes continued to be air-born. I think it was safe to say my friends were all insane.
“What are you guys doing?” I screamed.
Suddenly six pairs of eyes darted over to me as if they were just now realizing I was there.
“Sarah’s right, Kae. This, the way you are living, is very unhealthy.” my friend Alex said. Alex was one who was very quiet, but spoke up when she felt necessary. “You can’t keep wallowing in self-pity for the rest of your life.”
Jen, the friend I could always trust to be honest, butted in. “Yeah, Kae. School starts back next week. You can’t show up and be all sad and stuff.”
Leslie, my pushy and eager friend, pulled me out of bed and stood me up. “Kae, we have a surprise for you.” she told me, with a devilish grin on her face.
“You guys, thanks for whatever you’re trying to do.” I told them, trying to sound a little less down. “But I can honestly tell you, it wont work.”
Jen grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the bathroom. “How do you know that? You don’t even know what the surprise is. Where are the towels?”
“What?”
“The towels, Kae. Please try and keep up here.” she pushed.
“Oh- under the sink.” I pointed to the space below the sink.
She walked past me, urgently, and threw me a towel. “You have thirty minutes. And don’t forget to shave your legs.” then she was gone.
I didn’t have a chance to argue. I gave up with a loud sigh. I let the water run until it was warm. I slipped out of my sweatpants and t-shirt and jumped in the running water. I let the warm water loosen the tighten muscles and calm my nerves. I shampooed and conditioned my hair; I even shaved my legs just like Jen told me to.
I stayed in the shower until the water turned cold, then I finally got out and wrapped a towel around myself. I walked out of the bathroom and into my room to get some clothes. As I walked through my door, something was flung into my face and startled me. It was an outfit Liz had chunked at me. I gave them all a exasperated look before turning around and going back into the bathroom to get dressed. I slipped on the light colored jeans with rips in the knees and the hot pink tank top that flared at the bottom. I scrunched my hair while I was in there and threw my makeup on. I scrubbed my teeth to get rid of the Rocky Road residue and walked back into my room to find the six of them watching some show on TV.
I cleared my throat to turn their attention to me for a moment. They began to smile.
“You ready?” Shelley, my hyperactive and bouncy friend asked as she jumped off my bed and came to stand in front of me.
“Not really, but are you going to tell me where we are going?” I pleaded with them.
“Nope!” Shelley said with a grin.
They walked me downstairs and we waited there for Alex, who had to use the bathroom. While we waited, my mom and dad came in with little, cautious smiles on their faces. They were in on this too!
“Not you guys too.” I was frustrated.
“Sorry kiddo.” my dad said. “We were just worried about you. We thought this might help.”
“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” my mom added.
Alex came in and they then proceeded to shove me out the door and we all packed into Jen’s Tahoe. Before we pulled out of the driveway, Sarah handed me a handkerchief.
“What do you want me to do with this?”
“Its suppose to be a blindfold, Kae.” Leslie cut in. “We really want it to be a surprise!”
“This is ridiculous!” I shouted at them; they all laughed at me. I finally caved in and put the stupid thing on.
It felt like we were driving for hours. They were all talking and laughing about something that I apparently missed. I kept quiet and waited for this ride to be over. I wasn’t in the mode for all of this, really. I felt an ounce of relief when the car came to a stop and turned off. I felt hands lead me out of the car and walked me a little ways. They finally took the blindfold off and the first thing I noticed was the light. It was darker, maybe close to seven o’clock. Then I heard loud, upbeat dance music. I looked up ahead and saw the teen club, 14/18.
“Are you guys kidding me?” this was the lamest place ever! No one but freshman and lame upper-classmen came here.
They all giggled as they dragged me through the doors and down the stairs. The fast dance music was too loud and not my style at all. The lighting was awful; you couldn’t see anything but silhouettes of people dancing in rhythm to the music and flashing lights everywhere. It was by far the dumbest place that my friends could have taken me.
They pulled me through the crowd of sweaty, nasty people to the “bar”. We sat down on the stools and Leslie turned to the “bartender”.
“Shirley Temples all around” she requested gleefully.
The man chuckled to himself, but fixed them for us.
“Here you go ladies.” he handed us each one. “Enjoy.”
We were there for a few minutes, when a guy with long black hair that swooshed down in his face and brown eyes came up. He looked intimidated, but kept his cool.
“Do you want to dance?” he asked Leslie.
“Uh-” she looked at us, then back at him. “Sure. Let’s go.” They soon disappeared into the crowd.
This was how it happened for the rest of us. I had a couple guys ask me, but I respectful declined. Soon, I was the only left. But that was alright; I was perfectly fine just hanging out at the “bar” and sipping on my Shirley Temple.
I was just sitting there, counting the minutes until we left, when a guy comes up and sits down on the stool next to me. He looked maybe a year younger then me, but he was definitely charming. His dark brown hair swooshed into his emerald green eye, as his smile showed his ultra-white teeth.
He turned around to face me. “Hey there. You here by yourself?”
“No, my friends are just dancing.” I told him, then took a sip of my drink.
“Names Jake.” he extended his hand, but I ignored it and took another sip.
“Charmed.” I said, sarcastically.
“Ouch, that one hurt. What’s your problem?” he asked. I shot him a dirty look. It was none of his business.
“You have a boyfriend or something?”
“Or something.” I replied.
“Oh, I get it. You don’t really want to be here, do you? I’m guess that your friends dragged you here… am I right?”
I was now looking at him. Suddenly, I felt a smile stretch across my face. It wasn’t a real smile, but it still felt awkward. I hadn’t smiled in a while.
“And I bet you are just counting the seconds until I leave you alone to the bartender and your Shirley Temple. Tell me I’m wrong.” he was smiling, knowing he had me.
“My name is Kae.” I held my hand out. He took it and pulled me from my seat.
“Well Kae. I think you should join me for a dance.” Before I had time to react, he had pulled me out to the floor and was swaying his hips. I began to smirk at him for looking like a complete idiot. I had to say, I was having an okay time until a familiar song began to play. I felt the hole in my chest begin to re-open and eat away at me. I felt the tears welling up and I had to leave. I slammed my hands over my ears and began to run out of the building, feeling little sympathy for Jake, who was still standing there stunned. My friends were always right behind me.
I ran until I collapsed onto the ground right beside Jen’s car. My friends surrounded me and began to comfort me. Unaware of what the matter was.
“Kae! What did that little creep do?” Liz asked. “Do I have to go back in there and beat him up?”
I shook my head.
“Did he say something?” Sarah asked, patting my back.
I shook my head again.
“Then what is the matter Kae?” Jen asked.
“Listen to-to the so-song.” I managed to choke out, through  the tears.
They fell silent, listening. It hit them at different times, but it did hit them. All except Alex.
“OH.” they all said. I weakly nodded my head. 
“What?” Alex yelled.
“That was me and Aaron’s song. He plays it all the time on the guitar.” I sniffled.
We all sat there for a few more mixtures, letting me calm down. Then we loaded up and got out of there. Jen stopped by the local Sonic and we all got milkshakes. This helped a little. On our way home, I explained the whole story to them and had to keep telling them it wasn’t their fault when they apologized for it. I told them that my bad luck in timing had nothing to do with them. They seemed to take it and soon let it drop.
As we pulled up the road and then I saw something that not even my chocolate and peanut butter milkshake could help with. I saw a moving van in Aaron’s driveway, him helping his dad carry a couch outside into the van, and Aaron seeing me. What was going on? Since when was Aaron moving? Did he think that things were so bad I didn’t have the right to know that he was moving?
“Maybe they are just getting new furniture.” Shelley suggested, knowing that wasn’t true.
Once Jen dropped me off, I started to walk up the sidewalk that lead to my house. I reached into my purse and started to grab my phone to call him, when I stopped. I put my purse down and began to walk across the street. I was furious and when he saw me walking across his yard, he must have seen that anger. I think his dad saw it too, because he shot Aaron a worried look and quickly walked into the open garage and disappeared.
He began to walk to meet me half way when the yelling started.
“Don’t come near me!” I yelled.
“Kae, let me-” I cut him off.
“No! I don’t want to hear your excuses Aaron. It’s my turn to talk.” I waited to see if he would interrupt, when he didn’t, I continued.
“Don’t you think it would have been a nice gesture to let me know you were moving? How long has this been planned?” I didn’t let him answer. I walked over to him and glowered at him. “Why didn’t you at least send me a lousy text message to say ‘Hey Kae, by the way…I’m moving.’? That is the least you can do!”
“Kae, you are blowing this way out of proportion. Its not that big of a deal. You really need to chill.” he said, facing his palms towards me.
Then suddenly something in me snapped. I didn’t mean to but I did it anyways. I reared my hand back and slammed it hard across his face. I slapped his face, and hard. So hard that he let a low yell out and my hand began to tingle.
“What the hell was that Kae?” he yelled, holding his cheek.
“I-I don’t know” I started to apologize. “…you just make me so mad! And you hurt me so bad…you deserved it! Have a taste of your own medicine. I mean, I know you don’t love me or want to talk to me anymore, but I cant believe you didn’t tell me!”
“It has nothing to do with me not loving-it has nothing to do with that stuff. It just never came up, that’s all. It kind of took me by surprise myself. I found out last week.” he explained.
I nodded. I couldn’t say anything without risking him seeing my real emotions. I quickly turned and began to walk away.
“Kae! Please, don’t walk away again!” He called, hurt covered his voice and I began to wonder if he was crying.
I wanted to turn around and run to comfort him. But I couldn’t. He had to know what it feels like. It was his turn to be the one who had to hurt. I had my turn, a whole month of it. He could handle one night of pain. I did it easily every night.
Without turning around to face him, I stopped and called out. “You know what Aaron? I think you moving is the best, for you, I mean. Just until you get over this whole…situation. I hope you have a nice time where ever you are going. See you…whenever.” I gave him a short glance over the shoulder and a quick wave and then I walked across the street, up the front steps and into my house.
I couldn’t stop and chat with my mom and dad without spilling the whole thing. I walked in the house and straight up the stairs. I was so mad! I slammed my door and jumped onto my bed. I pulled my face into my pillow and let out a loud scream. My mom came barging in my room, looking worried and shocked. She walked over to my bed and sat down. Once again I became a blubbering baby and spilled the whole thing. She comforted me for a few minutes and then left me alone, obviously she learned something from last time.
I gave myself a little while to calm down before I started thinking of what to do. I began to feel bad for leaving him like that, even though I kept telling myself he did it to me. I had to stop feeling bad for it. I would just go over there tomorrow and give him a real goodbye. And with that I got ready for bed. My phone began to ring when I was getting into bed, but I thought it was just one of my friends calling to check up on me, so I let it ring. I didn’t really feel like talking about it. I quickly fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning later than I wanted to. I wanted time to tell him goodbye. I sprang up and walked over to my dresser to grab my phone.
“14 missed calls?” I said out loud.
I opened my phone and scrolled to my missed calls.
Aaron.
Aaron.
Liz.
Jen.
Aaron.
Alex.
Aaron.
Shelley.
Aaron.
Aaron.
Sarah.
Leslie.
Aaron.
Aaron.
I wasn’t going to call the girls back right now. I started to dial Aaron’s number, when I got a text message. It was sent last night. I opened it quickly.
“Kae. By the way, we are leaving tomorrow. Hope I get a better good-bye. A”
Panic rushed through me. I ran over to my window and tore the blinds open to look over at Aaron’s house. I saw no cars, no moving van, no anything. I sprinted down the stairs and out the door, not even caring that my parents would worry or the fact I was still in my pajamas. I dashed across the hot pavement, through the grown out grass and up the creaky steps of his front porch. I banged on the door, tears gushing form my eyes. There was no answer. I hit the door again with my fist. Still no answer. I twisted the door knob and to my luck, it turned.
I barged through the open doorway, expecting to find Aaron and his dad watching the football game on their TV; expecting to see his dog come up and lick my face. No, what I saw was an empty living room with nothing left in it. I called out his name, hoping, praying he would answer. No. I ran up the stairs and straight ahead to the closed door to his room. I opened it in one fluid motion to find what I was afraid of. Nothing. Emptiness.
I stood in the doorway, not able to move at first. I soon walked into the room, remembering all the good times I had with him in this house, in this room. I looked on the carpet and there was still the stain from where we spilt our hot chocolate that Christmas five years ago. I walked over to his closet and opened it. There was still the marks from where he measured how much he had grown every year. And at the very bottom of the closet, by the floorboard, was our initials that we had put there the first summer I spent here with him. I crawled out of the closet and walked to the center of the room, crying a little bit less now. Remembering all the good times made me forget the bad for that moment. I sat down and remembered. I don’t know how long it was before it hit me: Would I ever see Aaron again?