Mistaken Identity

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. I'm here today to talk to you about installing cost-cutting, energy-efficient solar paneling on the rooftop of this beautiful home of yours. Studies have shown that--"

"I'm not interested, thanks."

"But if you could just give me a few minutes of your time..."

"I'm really not... hey, aren't you that guy...?"

"What guy?"

"The guy! You know, the one from all those eighties movies."

"I think you've got me confused with someone else."

"No... no mistake. I'd recognize that face anywhere. So handsome!"

"Ma'am, please. I'm not whoever it is you think I am."

"I may be getting older, Sonny, but I'm not senile. And I know a movie star when I see one."

"Look, no offense ma'am, but I'm just an ordinary guy trying to sell solar panels."

"What happened? You already burn through all those big acting paychecks?"

"For the last time, I'm not--"

"I swear, I had the biggest crush on you when I was younger. My friends and I would all go down to the Cineplex to see your movies on opening night."

"Uh, really? Every one of his... uh, my movies?"

"Of course."

"Well, okay. You got me. I'm just selling solar panels to make a little extra cash since I'm between roles right now. So it would really help me out if you would consider fitting your roof with them."

"Well, I don't know--"

"Come on. For old times' sake? I might even be able to get you a discount if you convert the whole roof..."

"Well, I'll have to talk to my husband about it."

"Is he home right now?"

"No, but if you want to leave me your card, I'll make sure he calls you."

"I'd really appreciate that."

"Wow, I can't wait to call the girls and tell them who stopped by the house today! So exciting! Mary Jane is going to flip!"

"I look forward to speaking with your husband, ma'am. You have a great day, now."

"You too... Mr. Movie Star!"


"Who was that, dear?"

"Some salesman pitching us solar panels."

"Oh, Lord. You didn't do the movie star bit again, did you?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's mean. That's what's wrong with it."

"How is it mean? He walks away feeling better about himself, even if I didn't buy anything. Plus, he'll be more confident at the next house. It's a win-win situation."

"You're out of your mind."


(413 words)