This is my self definition as to who I am and who I want to be |
So everywhere I go I am asked who I am. Its a pretty standard question to ask someone which consists of the connotation to include your name, age, what you do, status, and various other factoids that may help one person get to know another. And while those sensical factoids satisfy our mind to know in what direction someone is heading they do little more than that when you are trying to see deeper into someone. So the best way to know me isn't through those almost useless facts about me, but through the way I view myself, my strengths, my weaknesses, my downfalls, my perfections. There is only one me, and this is it. . . Jeremy- I am a son, a father, a brother, a friend, a lover, a fighter, and an all out giver. I am a mirrored reflection of the beauty of love from God, passed down and given to my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, and every other person who has touched my life in some way. I am a boy with a shadow of innocence masked by the dreams of being a man. I am a soul longing for an escape through an endless expression of what my heart desires. I am a heart longing to feel more than the pain of loss and the hope of evading it. I am the love given and received through stopping, serving, sacrificing, and surrendering. I am a giver needing to become in balance with a taker. I am a blessing and a gift treasured. I am the hope of love and the promise of better days in spite of tragedies. I am the purity of childhood mysteries combined with knowledge of manhood catastrophes. I am a majestic image of my mom's heart. I am a beautiful recreated image of my father. I am a work in progress that is ever growing, changing, molding, and becoming the best me I can be from one moment to the next. I am a dreamer who doesn't like to live in the realness of society. I am an idealist who drowns himself in false realities that become my truth. I am a teacher with a passion to learn and think about life- the way it is- the way it was- the way I want it to be- and the steps to make that happen. I am a questioner whose first thoughts are who, what, where, when, why, and how. I am a definer, who processes to the simplest form. I am one to see the best in everyone but myself and in myself I see both sides of who I am. I see myself as good and can define my success and my down falls. I can be honest in my perception of myself knowing that I am not defining who I am because I am my own worst critic which only blinds my eyes to the truth that others see. I am merely a man born among the stars. But in that I am a man, I can change my own stars to suit who I am and where I am going. To a certain extent I control who and where I am going, through my reactions to every situation, every bend, and every curve. I can choose to be positive and find the lesson in the heartache or roll over and die in the pain. I choose the first one. I am an optimistic kid who lives a happy go lucky lifestyle and wastes not one second of any given day. I use the breath in my chest to better my world and change what I can. Nothing I do is wasted on those deaf ears others live by. I am a passive aggressive fighter for faith. I will stand tall and I won't back down. I am a believer, in God, in love, in faith, in passion, in desire, in hope, in help, and everything good; this world; and beyond, has to offer. I live by the good and not by the evil. I help when I can and I stretch when I feel like I cannot. I surpass my own lowly expectations because through the hands of God and the strength he gives me, I can overcome all odds, cross any boundary, and live every day, knowing everything will be ok. Maybe not as ok as I perceive it shall be but ok in the sense that day in and day out I live for the glory of God and in life or death, I bring glory and honor to him. I am who I am and that's all that matters to me. You like me, you hate me, and it's your choice. I am a passionate piece of art being molded by my experiences into the man I will become on the day I die. I am the sky- a vast open space not confined or molded but alive in the exposure of light and dark. I am a storm- a violent forceful action that is always brewing and strikes without notice. I am a rainbow- an array of beauty that only grows in depth after each storm passes. I am the shore- molded by crashing waves of heartache and angst. I am those same waves- my own worst enemy and my own best friend, combined into one man. I am the sunlight in my own life, the one whose faith I live by, the same faith I have defined for myself. I am the moon- a dark patch with a past but with open arms to receive the night and welcome day. And if tomorrow shall not come, well then I hear by leave open arms to death, by whose glory I am not afraid and whose honor I shall bear in the name of my Lord. |