Its just something i came up with in DETENTION!!! |
Everyday I watch her, she’s beautiful. Every freckle, every smile, every curl. The way she walks the way she talks. Every breath she takes, makes my heart skip. Her smile strikes my soul deep. Her eyes, the eyes of an angel, I can’t even begin to describe. In her eyes there’s a spark, a flame, and fire. Burning bright, deep within. The glow they contain, turns my knee’s into Jell-O. When she looks me in the eye, they burn a hole straight through me, through my very existence. Her eyes contained power, confidence, and beauty. They show her majestic and strong soul. She’s got the eyes of a tiger.1 2 My name is Robert, I’m seventeen years old and deep down love struck head over heels in love with a girl named Michelle. Michelle is in my AP English class, row three seat two. Not only is this girl smart, and funny, she’s down right HOT! Not just hot, she was beautiful. Michelle was about 5 ft 5 and had a athletic build. She had dark chestnut hair and the clearest eyes he had ever seen. They were grayish white with blue and green flecks and the outside edge was thick with a yellowish color. She was flawless. Such beauty in a small town doesn’t go un-noticed. In fact everyone knew she was beautiful, but she didn’t act like it. She never used it to her advantage, or used it to point out the insecurities of other people. She had a fantastic way of pointing out the good in everyone, and her infinite flaws which, no one, but herself could see. To me she was unfaultable. I feared that she was so perfect she would one day just vanish, like mist, because she was a figment of my imagination. I didn’t think a guy like me would ever have a chance with a girl like her. It just seemed unachievable, and far-fetched. Still, I strived to try, and try I did, I flirted and talked. I listened to what she had to say no matter how inconsequential it all seemed to me. We became really close friends, we were inseparable. I could never ask for more. She trusted me with everything. I knew everything about her from her likes to her dislikes, down to her down right genuine most personal thoughts. We went everywhere together. We laughed, and we cried together. We got in trouble doing stupid teenage stuff to totally competing for the best grades. We went everywhere together. Michelle even started to tell me how much she loved me and every time she said that, my heart just burst in my chest. We were inseparable friends all through our junior year, then came our senior year. We were at the top, we were living the best year of our lives and nothing could bring us down, or so we thought. 3 Quarter of the way through out senior year, we decided that it was official. We were now boyfriend/girlfriend. I remember the Friday nights we spent together watching T.V. I remember the times she was sick, I would show up at her door with a teddy bear, and a single red rose. I would stay with her, until she felt better, even if that meant her bringing me chicken noodle soup two days later. I loved the way her head felt nestled on my shoulder. They way it felt when she held my hand. When we kissed for the first time, the light headed feeling. I was floating on clouds, and I could not ask for more. I loved Michelle more than ever that year and I don’t think I love her any less now. The end to our high school years was drawling nearer and nearer. It was already obvious we were going to prom together, I mean why wouldn’t we? We were in love, not just teenage puppy love. I know this was real. She just made me feel so good about myself. I still wanted to surprise her, and ask her in the most romantic way possible. So the day before I asked her I met with all her teachers, all eight of them I gave them each a single red rose with a card that says I love you. I asked them not to say anything to anyone, and give her the rose when she came to class. Well in homeroom she received her first rose. She meet me in the hall and through her arms around me. I knew she’d love my plans. By lunch she already collected five roses. She was blooming. She was blushing. She was glowing. Her last class of the day there was a big teddy bear, with a real silver necklace on. He came with a dozen more roses, and a big sign that said, Michelle, Get a dress, We’re going to Prom!!! Michelle was ecstatic. She came running into my math class. It was perfect. Well we both got our prom outfits, and it was the day before prom. We were cuddling on the couch at my house watching Titanic, when she looked up at me. She stared at me with those bright beautiful eyes. She stared at me for a minute. I thought for sure she was going kill me, because she was burning me with her beauty. Then she whispered I love you. She’s said it a million and a half times before but this time it was different. I can’t explain why though. It seemed genuine, not that the other one’s were. It was like a for sure, I want to spend the rest of my life with you type I love you. It was a I would do anything for you type I love you. It was a I love you with everything I’m worth type I love you. It doesn’t make sense, but then again, from my experience, love never does. If it did, it wouldn’t be so special, it wouldn’t make you giggle at stupid things, and I wouldn’t make you do things for that one special person. That day we were closer than ever, that was the day our hearts were in sync. I knew this was the girl that I would be with forever. I couldn’t understand how a guy like me was anywhere near as lucky. Prom day came, and I was getting ready I did my hair, which sound weird but this was special. I had her corsage in the refrigerator, which I would have not known if the florist hadn’t told me. I got my fathers car for the night which was awesome, I mean it was no BMW, but it was a lot better than the little Volkswagen Jetta I bought on a bus boys budget. It was a Lexis. I felt like I was on the top of the world, I was going to make this her fairytale night. I got on my tux and drove on over to her house. The way her house was set up I already had this feeling she was going to try a movie star entrance. Her sister answered the door all red and out of breath, I knew them both so well to know they probably had practiced her dramatic entrance. I stood in her door way and as I had predicted she floated down the stairs. Even though I had expected her entrance she still took my breath away. She had on a light blue dress, with a diamond shaped design on the front made with spots of glitter. It had no straps. He shoulders were glistening with glitter. Michelle’s hair, was halfway up and what was down was curled tight. Her hair was long. Down past her shoulders. She had caramel blonde highlights. Her make-up was done Hollywood style. She looked like a princess, and I was her prince. Ready to sweep her off her feet. She was wearing the necklace I gave her. She had gloves on but she looked really slim and she was just breathtaking. Her parents came around the corner with a camera. We must of taken over a million pictures before we decided we really had to go, soon. We were going to meet a few friends and drive there together. I had never been to the hall we were going to, so I didn’t know how to get there. I was planning on following them to the prom. I opened her door scoffer style. She was so excited, she was smiling and laughing. She looked beautiful. I know she had been looking forwards to this night for a long time. This was her night to be a princess. To her this was her royal ball. We meet some friends and together we made a line of five cars. I was the last one in line. It was already getting dark and the hall was a good 45 minutes away. We were making good time though. We lived in sort of a rural area. It took you twenty minutes to get anywhere. The hall was in the next town over, so it was a good long drive. Apparently the leader was familiar with this route, and decided to take a short cut. I had no idea where we were, but I knew I could trust the line leader. Well originally we were doing about 45 mph, but I guess the guy in front decided to move faster, me not knowing where we were, had to keep up we push 50 when it started to get foggy. The road was rough, and even though I was nervous, I didn’t let on, this was Michelle’s night, and I was going to make this perfect. The distance however between me and the next car was growing bigger and bigger. The road was curvy, and we were down in a valley it was getting foggy. The car in front of me was now a speck. I needed to catch up before I lost him. I didn’t have a cell phone, no one really did, not at this age in time. It was the mid-nineties. I went against my better judgment, and push 65, the red lights grew closer, but suddenly disappeared. The road seemed pretty straight, there was no curve warning signs, so I kept my pace. I knew they weren’t doing more than 60, they weren’t that stupid. Suddenly, something big, was in front of me, I tried to hit the brake, but my reaction was too late. There was a terrible noise, of crushing metal, shattering glass, and I heard Michelle scream. I couldn’t see, everything happened so fast, I don’t even know what I hit. I felt something hard hit me on the head, and everything went black. What played out in my head was something I will never forget as long as I lived. I opened my eyes and there was a bright light, my eyes adjusted and I realized, where ever I was, it was day time. It was bright. As my eyes started to focus on my surrounding, I realized I was in some sort of forest. It was almost jungle like. I was surrounded by brush, but I was in an opening, the sun was bright. I started hearing birds, and crickets. Something sounded like a monkey. I still don’t know where I was exactly, or how I got there. Suddenly everything went quiet. It wasn’t eerie, it was more peaceful. Something rustled in the brush to my right, suddenly I saw two big eyes. People would ask, why wasn’t I scared? I don’t know, I just felt peaceful. Those eyes however, were familiar. They were grayish white with blue and green flecks and the outside edge was thick with a yellowish color. The eyes belonged to that of a tiger, a big beautiful animal. I have never seen such a beautiful tiger, and to this day, I cant even put words to describe it. Only because there are no words to describe it. I felt a mix between adrenaline and peace. I guess I felt so small and helpless. I was in no danger, I could feel it. The beast seemed so relaxed. I reached out to touch it and right before I did, it vanished, everything vanished. Suddenly it was dark again and I couldn’t see. A sharp pain came shooting through my arm and my head was throbbing. I was dizzy and the world around me seemed to spin. It was dark. When I tried to figure out where I was, so much came flooding back to me. Suddenly I jumped into action. I knew I was still in the car, and I realized something terrible had happened. The car didn’t even look close to a car. I could see what was left to the steering wheel. I had a warm liquid trickling down my face. I tried to move and the pain in my arm left me tearing up. I’ve had a broken arm before, and I knew that that is exactly what I was feeling right now. So I tried to keep my arm as still as possible. I looked over at Michelle, I couldn’t see her, she was supposed to be right next to me, I couldn’t even see the passenger seat, there was branches and something that looked like maybe a piece of a big branch. There was twisted metal and broken glass everywhere. I called out for Michelle. I got no response. I had to get out. I saw the reason I couldn’t escape was my seatbelt. I continued to talk to her, telling her I was coming, and that it would all be alright. I managed to get my belt off and shimmy my battered body out of what was left of what I think was the drivers side window. I stood up and saw my car. It was unrecognizable. It was a twister hunk of metal. I walked around to her side. And I fought what was left of the door open with my good arm. She was in there. Buried under leaves and glass. I started to uncover her. I was talking to her. I got no response. Her blue dress was blood soaked and I was in shock. I don’t even think it registered. I touched her face her soft firm skin was cold. Touch her, and untangle her. I slide her body out of mangled wreck and laid her on the ground. I continued to talk and comfort her. She had what appeared to be a metal spike protruding from her chest. It was to the left of her heart. With every beat it pumped more blood straight out of her body. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help her. She was pale, and she was barley breathing. I kept telling her to hang on, I kept telling her to wake up. I couldn’t take it. I started hollering at her. She opened her eyes. Those eyes, the same eyes, I saw in the dream. Except now the light was fading. She was trembling and cold. Her breath was shallow. I needed help, but didn’t know how to get help. She whispered my name. It sounded labored, and rough. I told her to shush, I didn’t want her to waste any energy trying to comfort me. She whispered I love you. I held her head in my arms and kissed her lips, they were cold, and bluish, but she still managed to kiss me back. I told her how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I told her how I wanted to grow up together and I wanted to start our own family. She was smiling softly. Even in the dark, she looked pale. I think at this point I was crying. I couldn’t believe it then, but I think deep down somewhere inside, I knew what was going to happen, I knew the truth. I couldn’t believe it then. I still cant believe it now. My Michelle was going cold, her left arm was completely covered in blood so was her dress, part of her hair was soaked to. She looked up at me she seemed at peace. The blood from her wound was still flowing with her heart, but now it was moving much slower, and coming out in smaller proportions. It wasn’t looking good and I was really scared. She was fading out and fast. She closed her eyes, and I yelled at her, I was afraid if she fell asleep, she’d never wake up. I couldn’t help her, alls I could do was hold her. Eventually, her muscles relaxed and her chest stopped pumping out blood. Her body let out one last warm blow of air and it stopped. Everything went quiet. I held her and didn’t let go. I guess somewhere, I felt if I just kept holding on this would all go away, and she would just wake up. I knew it then, I knew my Michelle was gone, I broke. I started bawling, I fell on her, there was nothing, no breath, no steady beat of her heart. Nothing. I was in such disbelief. I was in such shock. The pain in my heart seemed outweigh the pain on my physical being. This was supposed to be her night, her fairytale night. She was beautiful so full of life. She trusted me to get her to the prom and I fail her. I don’t know how long I laid on the ground with her. It seemed like an eternity, but for all I know, it could have been only a few minutes. I heard a car. I laid her head carefully on the ground and stood up. It was one of the peoples cars we had been following. They must of gotten to the prom and realized we were missing and came back to find us. When they got out I dropped to my knees, I was crying. I felt sick. I think I puked my guts out that night. I heard Jenn, Michelle’s best friend, scream she was yelling. I knew they both knew what I did. It was over. Michelle never made it to prom. Andy Jenn’s boyfriend went to get help, Jenn stayed with me. Together we cried and cried. Eventually we heard the sirens, then we saw the lights. They lit up the street. In the light I saw everything. What happened was it was a long straight road with a sharp curve. The curve went under a train trestle. In the dark the curve was nearly impossible to see, but there was a sign back farther. The problem was, the sign had been taken over by vines and shrubbery. I never saw it. No one did. The trestle was old so when I hit it rotted railroad ties fell on the car. What was protruding from Michelle’s chest was a old railroad spike. I looked down, I was soaked in blood. I learned later at the hospital, that only a small portion of that blood was mine. Michelle’s blood was all over her, me, and the road. I never seen so much blood in my life. She planned that night for weeks. She spent hours at shop after shop searching for that dress. I stood there, I watched as the covered my beloved under a white sheet. I stood there until they had to drag me away. They put me in a ambulance and took me to the hospital. I cut open my head and broke my arm I had three cracked ribs. Compared to what happened to Michelle, I didn’t care. The cuts and bruises, faded but the pain remains the same. They made me stay over night, just to be sure my head wasn’t messed up. I remember sitting there. People were coming in and out. Everyone was crying. Some people even showed up in there prom wear. I didn’t care, I couldn’t even have told you who all stopped. All except one visitor. I was alone in my room, I stopped crying, only because is seemed virtually impossible to cry anymore. I heard someone walk in. I didn’t look up I expected to hear someone cry, or a cop ask me a question or the meaningless line, I’m so sorry. Nothing it was quiet, so he looked up and what was left of him heart just died. Standing in the doorway looking straight at him was Michelle’s father. I thought I was in for it. He was a big man, and I thought this was the end. I mean since the accident I’ve spent all my time wish I was dead, but I think being killed by Michelle’s father wasn’t what I meant. He was pale, like he had just seen a ghost, and his face was rough, and vague looking. Suddenly I really saw him, he looked small, hurt, and lost. He slowly walked to my bedside. He sat on the edge of my bed. He looked long and hard at my face. Like he was trying to find something lost, something missed. Then he broke down, like a rock he just crumbled into little bits. He cried and cried, we cried together, we both hurt. I put my hand on his back and let him cry. He turned and looked me straight in the eye, he stared at me for a minute. Then he spoke, his big rough voice was a small feeble attempt. He whispered, “I don’t blame you. This was not your fault. I know Michelle wouldn’t blame you. Hell that girl loved you. I know she did, since you guys were first friends. You were good for her. You made her happy, I could never hate, what she loved. I know your hurting just as much as I am, maybe even more, if that’s at all possible. I just want you to know, your welcome, always.” With that he walked out. They let me out of the hospital the next morning. I went home. I saw her face everywhere. I couldn’t escape her. She left everything behind. She left her sweater on my bed. I ended up crying into it. It smelled like her. It was sweet. Everything reminded me of her. I spent my next couple of days, laying in bed. Then came the funeral, I managed to get up and dressed. I remember walking in the door and seeing everybody who I knew standing there. They all turned to look at me. For some reason they didn’t even faze me. I couldn’t even tell you who was there. Its all one big blur. I remember first walking up to the casket. She was wearing her favorite jeans. She had on a tee shirt from when we went to the Hard Rock café in New York. This was one of her favorite outfits. She looked angelic, and fragile. Yet different, she was stiff, and cold. I wanted her to open her eyes, and get up and hug me. I knew that was never going to happen. The service was endless. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t escape it. Everyone said they were sorry, they didn’t know. It was all hollow, fake. I went up to look at her one final time, I lean over and kissed her. I wanted so bad for her to kiss me back. There was nothing. After the funeral, me and a bunch of friends went to the crash site. In the day, you could see where the car hit. The wall was cracked. You could see silver paint scrapped all over the side of the wall. The road was slightly stained with her spilt blood. We learned that this wasn’t the first accident that happened at that wall. Still the state has not even attempted too fix the problem. We painted the wall ourselves. We made it a lighter more reflective color, then we went back up the road to the warning sign, we cleared away the shrubbery. Nobody could have ever guessed there was a sign there. We did our best to make it visible. We spent the day mowing away weeds and vines. She never made it to her fairytale prom that night, but I think she was happy anyway. I know this is not the end. I will see Michelle again, and I do, almost every night. When ever I close my eyes I see hers. Her big beautiful tiger eyes. |