Nikki, Carl and the spoon of doom!

On a warm sunny day in Horwich (shocking i know!) Nikki and Carl were enjoying some ice cold traditional lemonade and curosity cola in the local cafe, downt' lane.
some villiagers walked past the window extremely slow, nothing out the ordinary for this quiet village.
then from out of nowhere an almighty din came, forcing Carl to nearly choke on his gingerbread man!  The noise was coming from a go - kart fitted with huge speakers - out of which was blasting modern greats - "The SugaBabes"!!  WHAT WAS THIS MADNESS?!

'J' the driver of the go - kart had a plan, a master plan - he was going to turn the population into brain eatting zombies!  Starting with Horwich!!
Nikki spotting 'J' from a distance, gravved Carl's arm and the remaining gingerbread man and ran out of the cafe.  " come on Carl, lets find a safe house".
They decided to visit their friend Dan.  on knocking at his door, they heard a loud thudding sound, it wasn't Dan falling asleep watching a dvd, but his faithful companion Ted the dog!
Dan opened the door and ted, so pleased to see his friends especially Nikki started to hump his special beabn bag!  "STOP THAT NOW TED!"  It's embarassing!"  said Dan, shaking his head.  "whats up kids?" he asked trying to change the subject.  "Well, i think theres some trouble brewing in downtown Horwich" carl replied.  "Yes, i think we should call at our house for supplies" chipped in Nikki.  "Ok lets go, we'll take the batcar!"

they all squeezed in the superfast car, including Ted in his special sidecart (complete with goggles).
"Oh can we stop for an ice cream PERlease?" asked Carl.
"Hmmm, ok if we must, but be quick, NO faffing around" sugessted Nikki.
However, as Carl opened his side door, an old man walked into it purely by accident.  he started to rant and rave at Carl about how young people have no respect for their elders!  Carl tried apologising but the old git was having none of it and started to chase him downt' road with hhis walking stick.  Carl tried getting in the ice cream parlour which had just closed by 5 seconds.  (Early closing Saturday but not as early as Wednesday).
"Ahwell" carl said, getting back into the car, "I didn't want one anyway's!"  Nikki and Dan, just rolled their eyes.
a couple of minutes later, after dodging the awfully bad drivers they pulled up up to a commotion outside Nikki and Carl's house.
It had a strange appearance toit and nikki spotted the doors and windows had vanished, not boarded up, but totally gone!
Then running down the street, puffing and panting came their friend 'Watto' Watson, He cried: "It was awful . . . . I heard a HORRIBLE noise it sounded like . . . .'THE FEELING' then your house started shaking, so I did the honurable thing . . . . i had to get in and rescue it for you . . . . your Wii! . . . . I got the batteries and games too!!"
"Oh . . . . well . . . . thats erm . . . . Brilliant, thanks a lot Watson" said Nikki and Carl in unison. 
"How do we get the doors open though?!"  "it all sounds like something todo with that 'J', first Sugababes, now The Feeling, Whatever next?!" 
"oh, i dread to think" said Dan.
They decied to stake out downtown Horwich, convinced the mystious 'J' was to blame for all the wrong doing.
It was quiet . . . . too quiet!  One shop still open surprisingly was Buchanans Tat Shop.  Mrs Buchanan was an old fashioned type wearing a long brown overcoat a bit like you'd see in the TV show 'Open all hours'.
She sold almost anything you could think of, nails, shoe polish, screwdrivers, seeds and locks.  the gang slowly pushed the door open and a loud bell rang.  Mrs Buchanan was stood as always behind the counter but she looked a bit stranger than usual.  She then seemed to realise they were there and fixed a steely gaze over Watto!
In the blink of an eye, Watto turned to stone!
"OH NO!" said the others, "quick get out!"
between them they dragged Watto out of the shop and stuck him into the boot of the batcar.
Just as they got into the Vehicle a small group of people came round the corner, shuffling towardsthem.
"NEEEED MOOORE BRRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!"  "eek lets get out of here!," said the remaining three.  Ted barked in agreement!  "I've got a plan" shouted Nikki, "pull in behind somerfield.  Let's get in that wallpaper and DIY store, its good in there!"
they hid Watto in a cubical of a public toilet, no-one would think to look there for him!
as they entered the DIY store, Trevor the Young chap who worked there, ran at them with a pitchfork.  "GET OUT!"  "Leave my BRAINS ALONE!"
"STOP!" Nikki shouted  "we don't need your brains"  "oh" with a sigh of relief said trevor, "well, you should know we don't sell shelve"
"huh" said dan, looking confused.
Ignoring him, Trevor continued "However, i can give you this, a special hand mirror, it may come in useful!"
"i'm afraid you can't stay here though, I'm boarding the windows and doors, keep them scary people out!"

"Right" said Fred, sorry not Fred, I mean Carl . . . . Anyway back to the story . . . . "Lets go get the scary ones!"
They started to march downt' lane towards the pheasant plucker pub, "say the magic words nikki"
Holding th mirror in her hand high, Nikki shouted, "MIRROR MIRROR, IN MY HAND, RID THE WRONGUNS OF THIS LAND!"
A flash of lighting and a big bang, in a village not so far away Addlington, it's population suddenly fell to four . . . . not four thousand, just . . . . FOUR!
"Whoopsy woo" said Dan in a camp voice.
"Oh Shit" commented Nikki, "It's a good thing Watto was in Horwich".
Turns out that Watto had been football traing for the trotters at the stadium on Red Moss Tip.  A large group of wronguns, had started to surround the gang forcing them towards Old Station Park.  "i know just who to call, Cherry Ghost and his small army of Romans!" suggested Carl.

just in the nick of of timeMr Ghost marched through the park from under the bridge and began to cruch the zombies.  his gladiator army, hacking and slashing, heads did roll!
"WOW, Thank You Mr Ghost!"
"No probs kids, I'm off to find my mountain Bird!  Cheerio!"

Mean while, back at the ranch 'J' was finalising his master plan, armed with an array of fine music CD's, he rolled out heading towards out trio . . . .
this time 'RHIANNA' My Umbrella was booming from 'J's go - kart!
"Oh great, his back!" groaned Carl.
"it could be worse, Black Eyed Peas!" said Dan. 
Just as a new group of zombies came towards them, a huge scottish woman dressed head to toe intartan, entered the battle, she was on her mobile phone; "YER BIG FAT FECKIN BLOBBY BASTARD!!!"  the cahrming girl was heard shouting, to who I do not know!
"oi you Jimmy!"  She blasted out at the go - kart Gobbalo,  "would ye like a weee spooon . . . . across ye head?!"
WHACK!! She hit 'J' over the head with that very spoon, the spoon of doom!!  "How dare ye run away from me, stealing all my favourite CD's!"

the last horwich saw of the deadly duo was the scottish woman chasing Jimmy down chorley old road.

"Phew, that was close"  concluded nikki, let's go get Watson"
They lifted him from out the cubicle, 2What hapened?" he asked, confused but ok.
then a familiar click click beep beep noise.
"oh Watson, who you texting?!" shouted Dan
"where's toilets in here?!" replied Watson!

"Everything back to normal then eh Nikki?"  said Carl
"looks that way!" smiled Nikki

                                                THE END