That time I died

Ill tell you about when I died. Someone must be listening somewhere. I really hope so. Well let’s just say that it was not anywhere near as bad as I feared. I drowned in a river that ran through my backyard. I used to be so afraid of drowning. I would avoid ponds and lakes, rivers and pools.

Man oh man; just the thought of drowning made me want to die. But when it happened it was actually pretty quick and painless though the anxiety of knowing I was about to die was so intense it overpowered my actual fear of death itself. I can specifically pinpoint the exact second I ceased to exist in the physical world and became something else, somewhere else. In one instant everything I had ever needed to know became my conscious clarity. Wait till you die and you realize that everything that concerned you during your time on earth was just the utmost tip of the iceberg, there are things going on right in front of you that would cause you to have an aneurysm where you to figure them out as a human….. Well that might be a bit of a stretch….im not quite sure how our fragile minds would handle it seeing as how something like that has never happened nor will it as far as I’m concerned.

Anyhow, that is not the story I am telling. Okay, back to my death experience or my “awakening”, however cliché that sounds. In a split instance I found myself not chocking and flailing about in a freezing river that ran through my cheap and under-manicured backyard, but quite dry and wide-eyed in a vast expanse of whiteness. Everything here was so round, annular, circular. It was spherical, globular; and at the same time it wasn’t; it couldn’t be. There was absolutely nothing here. Just whiteness. But I could see independent circles of slightly deeper white with circular diamonds of soft white stretching between almost as if a chasm lay directly beneath me.

The place where I stood was the deepest, most solid white of the entire area and I dared not move. The longer I stood motionless; I began to become aware of many things. The platform, if you will, was a type of temporary stop designed to allow a recently deceased person the time to grasp the meaning of the situation and also to allow them time to become accustomed to their new physical state. It wasn’t ghost like and it wasn’t human like, and it wasn’t anywhere in between. The closest I can describe it would be viscously functional insomuch as one doesn’t move as much as one undulates their way around. It was a very odd feeling to grow used to. After I realized the use of the “platform” if you will, it then came to me that the smaller circles that stretched the horizon were incubators for new life, opportunities to try new existences, and the most interesting thing is that these circles didn’t necessarily drop you back into the revolving clientele of earth, in fact you might not even make it back into the same dimension as the earth that you once knew.

I was blown away by the possibilities! As an adventurous spirit (no pun intended) since I can remember, I was simply terrified and thrilled at the new adventure that lay before me. One thing I must make note of here for historical purposes, there was absolutely no sign of St. peter! There were no pearly gates and there was no great pedestal from which I was judged by some ethereal being. I wasn’t surprised, quite the opposite in fact. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all that jazz about getting to heaven and having your life judged was distinctly proven inaccurate right then and there, but it wasn’t like they say it is going to be, except for the whiteness. There definitely was a white light at the end of the tunnel. But I once again am straying from my point here and as my story is almost done I really must finish up.

So as I discover these smaller circles that stretch as far as the eye can see and then beyond, I begin to wonder about the smaller almost diamond like spaces that make up the intermediary of the circles. I had at first thought that some inkling of their purpose would come to me as so much other info had but it never did. And that’s when I made my choice. I figured there must be some reason these smaller fissures were placed there and with so many possibilities laid out before me and the knowledge that I was at the beginning of a great adventure, I undulated myself off the edge of the platform right into a vast nothing. It wasn’t even white anymore. In fact the further I fell, the more that space began to become shaded and dark. And there were no more circles thankfully; circles had always made me uncomfortable. And here I am, still falling. It’s a nice feeling not to be in a hurry to get anywhere right now. It’s a nice feeling to have eternity on my side. It’s a nice feeling…….