The hate grows

The hate grows. From a sight to a simple word. It mocks me nonstop. What could of been and what is happening...why haevnt i been given a change? From her owns words to wacthing how her life goes...i cannot be mad not one but myself. I let it happen and so i must deal with it. But the fact that i tired...is to much. From a word it went into picture like a movie. Playing in my mind nonstop...untill i get over it. Then sooner or later i find something out. She goes with some one else again...Love is supose to clam me down...but at sight of that...the denail...it drives me beyond control. A hate unknown for who, a hate unknown for what. A hate that roars in side me. Love is once again losing this war...for love is not as strong when your not in love. Along with hate comes along sadness. Forever deined... a heart that has been burried. A deep grave...with no sunlight ever reaching it. My heart has been sealed of by everything...only hate and dispare in its place. My mind drifts from this world.. to a world of nothingness. My mind is blank and no though goes through. Why did this happen? A word can break me and a sight can destroy me? why...why...why!!!!! Hate enrages me. From my hate and sorrow i grow strength. No point of stoping or resting. What ever happens to me it dont matter.. i dont care. I will reach my goal. But why did i really try to? What keeps stoping me? Why my mind keeps going blank. Is it fear of deianly? no. It is something else...i dont know what...but it stop me ever time. no second thoughts...nothing. And so all i am able to do is watch. Hate the fact shes going with some one...hate the fact im doing nothing. What controls me to that point? Is it hate stoping me? When my heart wasnt burried it loaned for something. Something i didnt understand. I tryed expressing what it loaned for but i didnt let it fully go. A little bit came out. But then...there was an inncedent. She was after me...to kill me...just for fun. After escaping her with out her noticeing where i went to. My heart got burried alive...pounding hard. How could of this happened. why was she after me? No more was i letting my heart out. Then she became nicer. She smiled and laughed with me. I was thinking things are changing and my hearts grave got shallower. But then she couldnt even stand me touching her or her accidenlty touching me. That made the grave deeper. Enraged once more i go to other world in mind. How is this all happening why is it happening!!!! A grow comes out every day now. Hate toke from mentailly to pyshcail now. My bodys limations seem like nothing. No pain or wound is felt. No warmth comes from my body any more. Even on a warm day i am still cold. That means my heart has fianlly died, and hate can completely contol me now.