Everyone has a story in them

I'm sixteen, I should have a boyfriend now...right? Well...no....I don't. I've been single sixteen years of my life...so I get to complain a little! But I won't...I always say to myself that good things happen to those who wait. And so far I have been graced with the presence of great, loving, warm, caring, people. But you know, I always felt the need...the desire to fill a little whole in my heart. And in comes the determination, that usually makes guys hide. I thought it was my looks, but at the same time I have been happy with myself from the get-go. Braces helped- finally I can smile! And it shows...apparently...so I'm told I make entertaining facial expressions. It starts in Kindergarden ( I have great memory), we were standing outside for a practise drill. And the a couple people at that time dared me to kiss the guy beside me. So I did...I don't let down a good dare...plus I was curious. And then I just thought guys were hot, but it wasn't until gr 9 when I had this huge crush on a band member. Soon I figured out that I really do come on strong. So I tuned it down...I got myself a date this past summer...but I did the no-no. I broke one of the unspoken rules of friendship, choosing her over a guy. And I didn't want to stop myself cause it was so close...it was so easy...when really...I was just being stupid. I wanted a boyfriend for all the wrong reasons ( this happened twice). The second time was a peer at work, he too was in a band, good looking...and so available. But it turned into a " I'm not attracted to you anymore". Like we're married, and he wants a divorse....but I still really liked him. We hung out more then once, the second time at his house. And you would figure he would make the first move....nope...I mean I didn't expect him to. I was so on the fense...and this is because...I truly liked two guys at once. The guy who was availiable turned out crushing me when I finally got the guts to tell someone in person I like him. And the guy who lives in the west, I've known for 2 years this valinetines day...and likes me back. Who's moving here for college, and...that's if he gets in...might rent out my basement! Maybe...man...I hate that word. But...the reason I am sharing all this to the world is because...I can't say...I can't type...I love you...my finger tips want to press the backspace button a million times. The thing is....I love his mind...I love his heart and how big it is. We have a deep emotional bond...and i finally told people about him...I finally said...you know what...I'm in this. And if it turns out we are friends...heck! Better then nothing! Anyway, he's like my mcdreamy...but realistically...a real person...who talks back! I'm just...am so scared...he comes here....and how do I bottle it in. I was torn from the beginning when I liked the other guy at the same time. Torn..shattered...questioning....if I'm isane- kidding. I guess I got a lot to offer. I guess in every relationship there's a hurddle or a wall that you have to get over together. That's trust, communication...speaking of communication. I'm done for...for the next phone bill that is. But he's real...and I must say...if you have someone in your life that you would do anything for..he's it. I let him win sometimes...I...just can't get over him....I'm so crazy for him that my book....is all for him. He's all my inspiration...he's the guy you go to bed dreaming about seeing, and then what you think about...in the car listening to the radio...on your way to school. And back. But then...perks...msn...facebook...telephone...is it enough? Updated pics, flirting...sometimes...even writting. And I say...no story...no movie...can out do. I'm on a diffrent playing level with him...he's hanging in there...he's been in love...but doesn't like the wrods thrown around...me ether. But he has learned...he has had his first love....and I guess what fuels my inner passion and exictment...is in my writting...is I don't want an ending. I want to finish all the dreams I have had of him...and hey...true love is out there...he'll find you Shannon...he'll find you.

" the greatest lesson you will ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return" Moulin Rouge.