what you see of yourself as your inner soul looks back at you |
I stare out the window in front of me Seeing my own distorted image staring back at me And I wish desperately that it was a lie That the image I see is just my mind playing tricks on me Though deep down I start to accept it as the truth My eyes are finally being opened to the truth For you see the image staring back at me Their eyes are bloodshot and puffy While cuts seem to cover the rest of my once pale flesh For every time the knife dug into my skin I was relieved from the pain for a short while Though I never realized that what I doing was wrong That every time the knife claimed my smooth skin Another piece of my soul was devoured in darkness Until that's all I thought about I never thought like I was ever good enough And after thinking that for so long the pain overwhelmed me The only outlet I had was to cut and so I did Until I became obsessed with it Though after my body had been given so many scars It made me feel even worse so I cut even more As my hand touches my cheek I can still remember why Why it had all started because I allowed what others thought To affect me, I figured that what they were saying was true If it wasn't why else would they relentlessly remind me of it? Maybe they figured that if they said it enough I'd start to believe it myself, well they were right I punch the glass window in front of me in anger Shards of glass seem to rain down upon me Though the strange thing is I don't feel any pain I only feel relieved that those that thought I wasn't good enough I now realize were wrong Though is it too late to change how I feel about myself Does it even matter anymore what I think of it all I stopped caring a long time ago when it all started I look down at the shards of glass surrounding me It would be so easy to end it all now It's not like anyone would care or miss me They'd probably be happy to know that I'm gone They won't have to put up with me anymore And suddenly I feel a tear come down my cheek It feels so strange since I had tried so hard to stop crying So why now, why after all this am I saddened Maybe I wish that I never gave in to what others thought I now realize that what I think of myself is all that matters Though I just hope that it’s not too late To change the image that stares back at me Back to what I used to be before I let the darkness consume me And taint the image that seems to stare back at me |