My Constant State

I am not meant to be with you, I am meant to journey alone...
Time after time have I raged against the gods, questioning why? Why... awaking alone so often I cry....
So many times I have travelled your street... hoping to see you, just to steal a peek...
I must have dialed your number a million times, trying to call you, wasn't just in my mind... lying in my empty bed I silently, tick off the reasons why, I should hear you tell me NO again...is it worth it, just to hear your voice, the sharp intake of your breathe... as you realize... I am calling you again.

Maybe I should delay my enevitable, and traditional fate, by simply turning the tables, and avoiding the entire state... to which my mind you would twist, in your greedy little fist.... you would twist and twist with no thought at all, to the devastation, you would surely bring... upon my heart, my soul, my dreams...
you tirelessly twist....

Into a senseless state of rejection, quartered by my grief, I am bound by the demons, of disappointment... at long last comforted by my familiar and constant state....
I am resigned, to feel pain's quiet release, as it creeps back into my soul... I realize that this is my comfort, this is my place... for I am not meant to be with you... I am meant to journey alone, I am meant to be here...in this pain..

For this is my constant state.