The Door Swings Two Ways

The phone call came at 8:05 a.m. Answering it on the second ring, my heart raced as I learned it was Anna, the social worker.

"We have a two-month old baby needing a foster home. Do you need time to discuss it with your husband or can you make the decision?"

"No need to discuss it...we both are in complete agreement that our home is always open to any child in need." I replied. I heard a distinct sigh of relief before she informed me she would bring the baby over within the hour.

A mere twenty minutes later, I was gazing into the eyes of a little girl with dark brown eyes and a thin layer of baby-soft hair atop her head. My arms eagerly held the little one as I rocked her gently.

I was cautioned not to get too attached to little Karen because her mother, a local teen, had released her into foster care voluntarily. There was no court order involved in this placement.

The social worker stayed just long enough to have me sign the necessary papers and to tell me the reason for the placement. "The mother is a teen-ager who is still living at home with her mother. Tensions have been running very high and they both agreed it would be best to have the baby placed temporarily."

When my five-year-old, Jason, came home from kindergarten, he was surprised to see me holding a baby. "Is that our new baby?" he asked. "Ours for now," I answered with a chuckle.

The Foster Care Plan

Our first night with Karen went as expected. Being only two months old she and I shared a 2 a.m. feeding ... her doing the eating and me doing the rocking. Karen had weighed a mere six pounds at birth and was likely premature. Her ability to suck was not well developed and it took nearly an hour to get her to drink a mere four ounces of milk.

When the social worker arrived bright and early the next morning, we sat in the kitchen where I held Karen and sipped black coffee to get my eyes fully open.

Anna explained that Karen's mother had become rather overwhelmed at having a baby, especially one that cried frequently. She was not bonding well with the baby. The mother and grandmother had been quarreling day and night about the baby and the social worker felt they needed a time-out. As everyone agreed this was best, the placement was voluntary.

Anna asked if Sarah, the baby's mother, could come over after school to see the baby. I readily agreed, hoping to provide some support to this young girl as well as her infant. Anna was delighted and was off to another appointment within the hour.

Sarah's Visit

At 3:15 p.m., Karen's mother arrived. I was somewhat stunned to see the disheveled young girl. Skinny as a rail with hair that looked like it hadn't seen a comb or brush in days. Sadly, she looked devoid of any feelings.

"I'm here to see my baby," she said matter of factly. "Yes, hello!" I replied. "Come on in, it's the perfect time since Karen just woke up and she'll be needing to eat."

Sarah took a seat on the sofa while I heated a bottle and brought Karen to her. Sadly, the baby began fretting when her mother started feeding her and the more stressed the mother became, the worse the baby screamed.

Sarah quickly thrust the infant back in my arms as she yelled, "Karen, this is me, your mother! Why are you fighting me so?"

I had no doubt as to why the baby was screaming. She was picking up on the extremely negative vibes her mother was putting out. Even I felt the thick cloud of tension in the air.

Sarah must have felt it too, as she quickly grabbed her coat and left without a word.

It all happened so fast I was too shocked to respond. My attention turned to the screaming baby, who thankfully quieted quickly after I soothed and rocked her. I was still holding her when Bill got home from work. He scooped the baby up into his arms, studied her little face, and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'll hold her for awhile," he said.

That night went very well. Karen slept soundly from 9 p.m. that night until 3 a.m. in the morning. She woke only for a feeding and then slept soundly until morning.

The Disturbing Decision

Just after breakfast, the social worker phoned. "I have some bad news for you, Judy." She paused briefly. "The baby's grandmother wants her back home!" I could tell from Anna's voice that she indeed considered this to be bad news. "Since the court did not order this placement, I have no choice but to return Karen to them today."

It broke my heart to think this innocent infant was going back into a home where love seemed so scarce. I could only pray the social worker would be vigilant and get the family the help it needed to properly love and raise this baby.

As I handed the little bundle to Anna early that afternoon, I couldn't hold back the tears.

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As I write this, Karen is now a young lady, possibly with a baby of her own. I'll never know what turns her life took after she left my home, but I will always carry her in my heart and pray for her happiness.

"God bless you always Karen."