The wind feels wonderful as it begins to waft through my hair. The sea air felt invigorating. The sound of the sea surf roaring in the night kept a slow, sad rhythm. The moon reflected off of the sea and the waves, sparkling in the night below as well as above. The sweat on my brow now felt cool against my skin as the air moved faster past me: I spread my arms to feel the wonder of the moment. I smile. For the first time in days, I smile. When I figured it out, I thought I would never smile again. What was it we were doing it if he now calls it 'my imagination'? All those feelings of hurt and loss swarmed me at first, and for the following days. How can a person be so heartless? How can a person pretend to care about you for so long, then tell you he never did? What use is it to make a close friend, when they aren't even as close as you think they are? Or that they tell you they are? The freedom of the wind now rushing through my hair is liberating. It ruffles my clothing around me, whipping it, making it snap loudly. This feeling of freedom now that I had made my decision is incredible! It almost makes up for the feelings from learning the truth. Almost. I thought I had found someone so special, that only fate itself could have brought us together. Not only was he the most wonderful person, he was the embodiment of sexual attractiveness. Faster now, the wind now making me blink into it, nearly taking my breath from me. Taking me farther from him, and the memories of him. Even the person he is, or was, is, or was, perfect. Or so I thought. He seemed kind, caring, loving and sweet as can be. A gentle, wonderful man. Or so he seemed all that time we spent together. He thought so badly of himself, and I never understood that. I constantly had to tell him he was more than worthwhile; he was special. But he never got over that. Maybe that was the problem to him. I'd never know. He told me only that he didn't like me anymore and didn't want me around anymore. That's all. I guess that's all I should need to know. But I want to know more. We all want something we can't have they say. The wind going past me was so strong now that the tears were wiped away before they left my eyes. I could no longer see the sea coming up at me. I didn't need to. |