It started, it ended...

She just sat there, staring blankly into nothing. That's what she normally did in her spare time. Nothing. Just sat, doing nothing. There was nothing for her to do. Just sat there, wishing she could turn ‘nothing' into ‘something'. How interesting would her life be then?

She sat there, staring intensely into something. That's what she normally did in her spare time. Something. Sat, doing something. There was something for her to do.

I suppose you'll want to know more about this girl, what is this ‘something' she was doing? Why is she so passionate about this something? Why is she sitting to do it? Whatever the question is, it's better than reading about some bored girl being boring.

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you. That girl is me.

My life started. It's going to end. I've come to accept that now I guess, although I don't want to. I've had it pretty tough at times, but then again I've had it good overall, compared to others.

My mother always used to say if I left a bit of food uneaten ‘There are kids starving in Africa...' I'm sure you've heard it too. So, whenever I moan or feel bad about my life I always think about those kids. I do feel sorry for them, yeah, but... you feel so separated from them don't you? That sometimes you care a little bit more about yourself than them. I don't want to sound selfish, but you have to admit it - it's true. Everyone is selfish once in a while.

So, you've read this far about the boring girl who does nothing, so I'd better write some more to keep you interested, ey?

My life started. It's going to end, I don't know when but it will.
Right now, from where I'm sitting, I can see and hear a lot of people, who some, don't deserve to have the money, the love and advantages that they have. Many people have to really work for some things. I hate the ones who've had parents who ‘went through Higher Education to get me stuff that people on benefits just waste money on' (That's a true quote, that is, from a girl in one of my lectures.) It just... stresses me out because the people in power over here have no idea what it's like to be the people on benefits, to have people only slightly higher up on the hierarchy judge you on your income. I'm a person too! Hello?! I also have real feelings that do get hurt when you say that everyone on benefits are ‘frauds' and ‘scum of the earth.'

I didn't speak up in that lecture; some of the stuff she said was way out of order. Yet I didn't say anything. I wish I did. I've regretted over that moment so much. I've regretted a lot of moments I suppose, but that one is one of the biggest. I wish I could have put her in her place by telling her that not everyone is like that. Not every single, real, feeling person. I bet she heard ‘Daddy' say a few words about them and reads a few big, bold, black printed headlines every so often. Generalisation. That's what's wrong with the world today.

Sorry about that rant up there, but I suppose it's got to come out somewhere, right?



You're still reading. Well done. I commend you.
...I've kind of drawn a blank now. That's what my boyfriend and my best guy friend say about me. I waste all my energy on ranting.

I did that once, I think I was half-awake-sleep-talking. It was Christian's (best guy friend's) birthday and we had drunk and stayed up until about six in the morning talking about philosophical stuff, pondering if there was a God and/or aliens, as you do. Then I wanted sleep, so I crawled lethargically up the stairs in onto Chris' bed where Tom (the boyfriend) was sleeping. I can't remember this, but apparently I woke him up and his this big rant about how I wasn't tired and I just wanted to give him a hug, then I just shut my eyes and started snoring.. Apparently it was pretty funny.

I always do that too, tell pointless stories that I think are funny and they were at that time, but not now. Then by the time you've rambled on, close to the end of the story, you have to carry on and then you get that ‘tumbleweed' effect. Then you have to say the cliché line ‘you had to be there.' Erch.

I could tell you a million of those moments of the top of my head. That's what my life is, a series of ‘you had to be there' moments. Although, once you're there you'll want to get straight back out. My type of fun is probably not your type of fun. Okay? I don't like to go out, get ‘slaughtered', be carried home, get sick, collapse on the floor in a heap somewhere, waking up thinking ‘What the hell happened?', waking up next to a pig (the manly, ugly, drunk sort. Not the animal.) Then boasting about it to their friends when the weekends over. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I'm some sort of prude. I do go out and have a good time, just within reason. I suppose if I had a lot more times like our little drunk friend I just mentioned then this would be a lot more interesting to read. So, okay... I'm sorry I've never smoked or tried smoking, I'm sorry I've never done drugs or tried drugs, I'm sorry I've never gone ‘raving', I'm sorry I've never woken up going ‘What the HELL happened?!' I'm sorry I've never broken someone's nose in a drunken brawl and I'm sorry I've never woken up in hospital with liver disease... *Sleep*

I'm just sorry I'm not that fascinating and attention-grabbing.

My life started. It's going to end... (Well, writing about it any way...)

now.